Reality Me

The nine year old stares intently into the microwave containing the stash of glazed doughnuts scavenged from Krispy Kreme last night. Krispy Kreme gives one free glazed doughtnut for every A on a report card (limit 6) K through 8. They used to give any free doughtnut of choice but some nimrod, whiney parents brought an end to that but I’ll save the rant for another time. Noah scored a full half dozen. Sarah got 2 but received 4. Tommy aged out. The hot doughtnut sign was on and to keep peace in the house I bought another dozen which if divided evenly between Mom, Amy, Dad and Tommy would give each of the non-qualified eaters 3 doughtnuts.

Let’s return to the nine year old staring into the microwave as if he’d discovered the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything (amz). Upon inquiry he reveals that he is trying to decide between eating out of the large box or his box. "That way once all those doughnuts are gone I still have these." I am taken back by the selfishness but amused at the ingenuity of the thought process. A quick math discussion, along with a definition of "staleness," and Noah makes the right decision.

Student: The rain is here.
Master: Even Mother Nature needs to cry and is better for it.

Student: I cannot do what I must do because of things I have to do.
Master: Perhaps you should separate yourself from the things you have to do.

Student: I acted irresponsibly and this time people got hurt.
Master: Irresponsibility always hurts someone.

Big class today.

If you have been caught up in the blue ball craze (a Rube Goldberg animation) and tradegic accident then you will really appreciate Amanda Congdon from Friday, Nov 18.

Read about the origins of the blue ball machine as a collaborative project.

Oh yes! Colored bubbles!

8 foot of speaker wire for $11,700.

Wahoo! Another billable done! Now for some chores.

Anyone know why Interstate 65 between mile marker 117 and 112 is at a stand still?

Answer:A dead dear and a car accident and construction at exit 92

James is enjoying posting jokes at Puerilis so here’s one for him:

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane.

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose and then shuddered for 10 or 15 seconds. The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered again. The man was becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes passed and the woman sneezed one more time. Again she took a tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered violently. The man couldn’t restrain his curiosity. He turned to the woman and said, "Are you all right?"

"I’m sorry if I disturbed you," the woman replied, "I have a rare condition; when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The man was a little embarrassed but even more curious and said, "I’ve never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"

The woman looked at him and said, "Pepper."

Tired of spam? Quit using email!

Darren Lennard became something of a creative-class everyman a month ago when, after a long and onerous day at the office, he plucked his hyperactive BlackBerry from his silk-lined pocket and proceeded to smash it on the gleaming granite countertop of his London home. What makes Lennard’s e-mail outburst unique is that it was embraced by his superiors.

I have not failed, I have "deferred success"

Ever consider the glamourous life of an overpaid independent consultant? Being a free agent and setting your own hours while raking in the dough sounds fun right? Let’s see…one client over due on an $800 bill, another client over due on $1600, others, I’m behind on a project that I underbid and overworked so I can’t bill it yet and my network just died, the mortgage is due Sunday, cable, phone and electric are due, the kids are making Christmas lists and funny thing is they want to eat.

Working for yourself…the stress-free way to retire early! Oh, and I almost forgot the best part: everyone you know wonders what you do and assumes that you are goofing off all the time.