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Barking at the dog

I found that if the dog bolted I could use a harsh tone in my voice and reel her back in. Gruff “Molly COME!” and she would come. I trained myself to use that gruff tone to get her to respond. A few days ago I consciously began calling her in using a softer voice with more cheer and happiness and found that she responded just the same as when I would call her gruffly but there would be more excitement in her eyes rather than an submissive tucked tail and lowered head. Making the effort to be excited at her return or answer to my call/request made her happy to respond to my request.

We sometimes have to leave Molly at home alone. She cannot always be left in the car or go wherever we happen to be traveling. Crating her was too tramatic. Her panic attacks in the crate grew to the point that we thought she was going to hurt herself and we conceded to letting her run free and paying whatever consequences resulted. Those consequences to date have been packages of food (like spaghetti) strewn about the house, toys eatting, feces and urine on the floor, books torn up, papers dragged from desks but overall nothing irreplaceable or terribly costly. Mostly, being as intelligent as she is, Molly communicated quiet well that she was punishing us for leaving her alone. A few times (maybe 3) I came home and called her over to the mess, forced her nose into the mess and scolded her. Now she is doing much better and last night was along for nearly 3 hours and didn’t even have an accident! No mess! Nothing to clean! Last night she did not cower from me but the few previous times she has been left home alone I called her excitedly to tell her how good she was but due to the 3 punishments she would cower to me each time despite my wanting to reward her. I would feel horrible.

In punishing a child, or adult, or animal – in dealing with them with anger – consider how much damage is being done. One slip, one bad time takes many good experiences and much more time to heal the unnecessary damage. I am still very angry and jaded toward the Knoxville Police Department for what I feel was a very unjust ticket. If I cannot move beyond that one incident, how am I to except a child to move beyond a harsh scolding when a gentle talk is all that is necessary.

I cannot change the world but I can change myself; and perhaps, just maybe, the world will decide to be like me.

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No Anger Necessary

Anger has to be the absolute worse emotion and the most unnecessary. It accomplishes absolutely nothing that less harmful sentiments cannot achieve. Recently I had grown to believe that the only way I could get the puppy or the children to respond was to bark orders at them. I’ve made a concerted effort to try to break what developed into an “angry habit.”

I’ve slipped once today already. I’m going to be more prudent for the remainder of the day. I feel better in my chest when I am not being angry towards others.

Anger is so contagious. When others are having a bad time the good energy in you seems to evaporate quickly. It’s as if your good energy burns twice as fast to try to help bring the down person up but as you burn through your good fuel you crash and suddenly there are two negative magnetics sucking energy from the room. Unhappiness breeds unhappiness like coachroaches produce offspring.

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Family is great

I love my family. It is so fun watching them grow. Noah and I played chess for the first time last night and he did pretty well. Amy amuses me all the time with her "big girl" behaviors.

I frequently feel like I’m failing them. If I work hard enough to properly provide for them then I neglect them in time. If I give them the time they deserve then the money isn’t there to provide the life they should have.

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NOoooo….sh%t

I was about to declare the dog house broken but I slept in a bit this morning (6:40) and apparently she could not wait. Small mess. At least she didn’t pee. I think for the most part she gets it. She understand she is supposed to go outside.

She’s funny too. She has picked two spots in the yard and will only do one thing in each spot. The spots are on opposite sides of the yard so she will go to one and do half her business then bolt to the other side of the yard to finish up.

Last night I accidently tried to call her in as she pranced across the yard and she gave me the most human face that seemed to communicate “uh, look man. Are you crazy? I’m busy!” as she kept her pace toward the second spot.

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And the whirlwind came…

So this afternoon I helped Sarah deliver some long overdue girlscout cookies. Then I scored some more programming. Then the boys and I joined the ladies at the mall to help with the girlscout cookie booth and relieve them for dinners. As I returned home Molly was outside and heard the Jeep and bolted down the street for it. The neighbors and Cathy thought I was going to mow her down. Spent some quality time with the neighbors afterwards and that was much fun. Time to settle.