"Murphy was an optimist!"
Now why didn’t I think of that?! January 21, 2005 9:35 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeBidder sells Absolutely Nothing Current bid: £50.02
add a commentFor Sale: Absolutely Nothing.
Do you have too much stuff? Nowhere to put all your auction buys? Too much money?
Well this auction is for you!
This is a fantastic, once in a lifetime opportunity to buy absolutely nothing! The successful bidder will receive absolutely nothing direct from me.
The perfect gift for the person who has everything.
Takes up no space. Easy to store.
Helps fight capitalism. Possibly.
No postage required.
Environmentally friendly, 100% organic and edible.
(Note. It is not recommended that you eat absolutely nothing for prolonged periods.)Bid now on this once in a lifetime opportunity!
Please note. This is a genuine auction, and the successful bidder will receive absolutely nothing.
Questions from other buyers for this listing
- Q: What is it good for? Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: Nothing.
- Q: Will I be able to return nothing, if not completely satisfied? Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: No, because you will receive nothing in the first place.
- Q: The great Buddha stated: “Nothing is permanent”. So does that mean if I win this, I’ll never be able to shift it should the need arise? Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: Nothing could be further from the truth.
- Q: I’m a bit concerned about your feedback rating of nothing. Will you accept escrow? It’s not lack of trust, just sensible caution. Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: The answer to this should be obvious. I have no feedback rating, as I have absolutely nothing to sell. My friends say I’m nice though, if that helps.
- Q: i asked my wife if she’d like a diamond ring, she said she’d like nothing better, can you re-assure me that this is the nothing she is referring to? Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: Nothing is certain, but it seems likely.
- Q: What happens if I win this auction and nothing arrives damaged? Will the GPO accept a written signature for absolutely nothing? Perhaps if you were to not send a sausage then I could confirm that is what I had received…. Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: If you receive nothing damaged from the Post Office, you should consider yourself very lucky!
- Q: hello, does the Absolutely Nothing also include f*ck all, for free? ta uncle.wilco Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: Sorry no. This offer includes nothing.
- Q: Hi, You state this is a once in a lifetime deal. Can I assume that this is a special edition? I’d hate not to receive common, general purpose nothing. Thanks CCM Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: You can assume nothing. Hope this helps.
- Q: Can you confirm that I will not receive feedback were I to win this? This may have some value for me. Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: You will receive absolutely nothing from me. You may receive something (fame, notoriety, strange looks in the street) as a consequence of bidding, however they will not be from me.
- Q: Could you provide some photos I have always though i had aboslutely nothing already but would appreciate knowing if yours is the same. Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: Sorry, I have absolutely nothing to take a photograph with.
- Q: I want to bid on this. Can you totally guarantee that if I win the bidding I will receive absolutely nothing? It would be just my luck to pay and then receive *something* Thank you. all_day_breakfast. (I’ve been searching for nothing for a long time now) Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: Nothing is guaranteed.
- Q: Is the absolutely nothing you are offering new or used? and if it’s the latter how long was it used for and to what end? Regards, Peztone. Answered on 21-Jan-05
- A: It’s pre-owned. I’ve had absolutely nothing for a few years now, and thought it was time to get rid of it. Being nothing, it’s in exactly the same condition as when I first received it.
My Life January 21, 2005 7:24 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeMy Life is broken up like chapters in a book. Each chapter corresponds to a place I was living.
The major chapters are Wilmington, NC; Cary, NC; Kenner, LA; Medford, NJ; Germantown, TN; and Knoxville, TN. Some of the chapters have significant subsections.
Wilmington, NC – Initiation
I was born at 7:08am on October 24, 1969 at New Hanover Hospital in Hanover County, Wilmington, North Carolina. I was the first child in the family so I came at any time. My parents lived in an efficiency over someone’s garage until I was nearly 3. At that time the termites dropping into my crib combined with the expectant arrival of my brother prompted a move to a house my grandfather rented to my parents. Of all places, we lived on Park Avenue!
Wilmington is a beautiful city that today only sports a citizenship of 60,000. It reminds me still of Mayberry from the Andy Griffith show. The roads have large medians lined with moss covered trees which give the streets the appearance that you are driving through tunnels with sunbeams for lights. Many of the streets have an appearance similar to what you would see in a movie about the old south. Behind the houses runs a gravel alleyway for trash pickup and many houses have their garage access from behind the house to give the front a cleaner appearance.
My oldest memory is of the playground across the street from the efficiency. I simply remember being on the swings on a sunny day. I also remember our orange cat and if I am told the story correctly when my brother was born the cat found a new home at the docks.
I was in the efficiency from birth to roughly the age of 3. We stayed in the rented house from 3 to 6 (maybe approaching 7). My character, that would define the choices I would make in my life, first began developing in the rented house. Our next neighbor, Spy Farmer, was a Grand Dragon in the KKK. He was a wonderful person by my memory and I would have never guessed him to be involved with the KKK. His granddaughter (or was she his daughter?) Kim Farmer and I were cutting clay with cookie cutters. I really liked the small one in the shape of a chicken so I decided to keep it. My first theft at roughly age 5. I had a great moral issue with my action. I didn’t like the feeling of having stolen and I returned the cookie cutter. I walked an honest and righteous path from that day forth.
Cary, NC – Fundamentals
Kenner, LA – Spirituality
Medford, NJ – Lust and Desire
Germantown, TN – Deterioration
Knoxville, TN – Rebirth
I’m ruined. Over-reaction January 21, 2005 7:21 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeI’m ruined. Over-reaction
A New Day! Let’s start the day off with a PayPa… January 20, 2005 12:45 pm
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeA New Day!
Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:
This Morning
I could really use an assistant today.
A favorite picture January 19, 2005 8:05 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeCheck out my girl. Add a caption!
add a commentGood Puppy! January 19, 2005 8:03 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeOops. I left Molly outside for an hour unattended. When I opened the door, there she was in the middle of the yard sitting patiently!
add a commentA New Day! Let’s start the day off with a PayPa… January 19, 2005 7:54 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeA New Day!
Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:
This Morning
In that half awake place wierd things go through your head. In mine those things are mostly practice dialogs with people with whom I work. It is irritating because it feels like I’m working when I am asleep and it is not good rest. Also sometimes I solve problems but can’t remember the solutions upon fully waking.
Of Grasshoppers January 19, 2005 7:26 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeStudent: I want to success.
Master: Quit wanting and just do it.
True Life Comedy January 18, 2005 10:09 pm
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeMy life is filled with those moments that sitcoms are made of. Like a few minutes ago with the theme song to Scrubs “I can’t do this all on my own. no I know I’m no supperman… I’m no supperman” running through my head, I gleefully saunter into the kitchen and perk up upon seeing someone has conveniently left the hat box sized Christmas cookie tin of sugar cookies that I so enjoy munching on out on the stove. I pop the lid to see the litter of cup cake like wrappings that once held about 4 cookies each but fear not for the tin has looked like this for a few weeks but never fails to yield a tasty delight. I dive my hand in and swoosh it around to score…a diaper! Not the kind of cookies I expected to put my hand into. But funny none the less! “da da DAAaa da I’m no superman!
add a commentI wish I could afford drugs January 18, 2005 10:28 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeYou know. Sometimes I wish I could pop some happy pills. You know. Pick a flavor: prozac, zoloft, wellburtrin..whatever. They should dispense these meds in gumball machines in the grocery for a quarter a pill.
Of course, then I remember that the body produces natural antidepressants and such. You simply have to trigger it with exercise! Or a clean desk. Or completing a task.
Now what pill do you pop to inspire yourself to get up and exercise?
add a commentForgive and Forget Stress January 18, 2005 10:00 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily Lifeadd a comment
- Forgiveness reduces stress
- Your heart will benefit
- Stronger relationships
- Less pain
- More happiness
"It’s a pretty rare injury" January 18, 2005 8:11 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily Life“If you’re going to have a nail in the brain, that’s the way you want it to be”
add a commentLawler didn’t realise a … nail had shot through his mouth…
“This is the second one we’ve seen in this hospital where the person was injured by the nail gun and didn’t actually realise the nail had been embedded in their skull,” neurosurgeon Sean Markey told KUSA-TV in Denver. “But it’s a pretty rare injury.”
VDD January 18, 2005 6:53 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeMy wife points out the Knoxnews article on Vacation Deficit Disorder ( )
Americans take just 10 vacation days a year. … Europeans … take five to eight weeks of vacation time annually. … Japanese, who exhibit similar workaholic tendencies to Americans, get away from the office about 18 days a year.
I want to move to Europe!
… Nine nights is the ideal vacation length … Vacation Deficit Disorder is killing us. Medical studies point to more instances of irritability, insomnia, hypertension and heart disease among those who have too little playtime. The bottom line: vacations make us live longer. That’s the best reason to go away and have fun.
I have had one vacation that I can think of since 1997. That was a week at Disney World where everyone, including Cathy, expected me to propose to Cathy. Prior to reading this I had actually made a commitment to myself that I am going to budget for vacations. My kids need the experience of travel. The other day Noah was in a conversation and vacations came up he matter-of-factly blurted out “we don’t take vacations.” That made me sad.
add a commentOf Grasshoppers January 18, 2005 6:47 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeStudent: I need a life altering event.
Master: You are having a life altering event.
The day January 18, 2005 6:42 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily LifeThis Morning
I arose at 3am. Actually got out of bed. Could not keep myself awake. Laid in bed from 4:30-5:30 trying to convince myself to get up. The fire died. I allowed too much entertainment and not enough work this past weekend. I shall pay the price today. The weekend was packed with some computer work, computer maintenance customers, car repair, Tommy’s D&D, car repair, dog walking, cooking, quality time with wife, and I allowed myself some downtime which I should reserve for when I finally die. “There will be plenty of time for sleep when I’m dead.”
Now I spend the next 30 minutes building a new fire, or blogging, or programming. My mind wants to do all 3.
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