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t-minus 45 minutes

I can’t get any programming done today. I can get in my chair and bring myself to be focused long enough to knock out this 1 silly piece of work. Probably 1 solid hour is all it would take but my mind is racing with “review first aid materials” (don’t want to look like a moron tonight), “clean floors,” (mother in law babysitting kids here) “chop wood” (they are now saying we are getting 4-8 inches of snow tonight–the kids are in shorts right now!), “get upstairs and check on the 10 yr old watching the 21 mth old,” (house really needs cameras all over the place), “oh, the 13 yr old should be checked on,” (he’s got strep) “I need a bath,” (not gonna happen) “everything needs to be done in 45 minutes” (ugh!).

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Amy loves the outdoors. To help her calm down, we …

Amy loves the outdoors. To help her calm down, we just stepped outside and she identified birds, looked at a dead mouse, laughed heartily when the wind blew in her face and tussled her hair. I never put her down because our yard is in such a horrid state. I hope this spring that I can do several thousand dollars in landscaping.

Time – money – materials – ugh. Need them all at the same time!

Amy in a contrary mood this morning. Maybe that’s not right. She wants a specific thing and everything else is going to make her mad. The first challenge was that she wanted her juice not milk. We worked it out through sign and her spoken words combined. She is happy and identified the outdoor cat on her own as “Gray.” (that is the name we have given the outside cat)

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Kids carpooled to school. Tommy’s bus called to sa…

Kids carpooled to school. Tommy’s bus called to say she is running late and will be here after 8 (arrived 7:45). Tommy on his own worked 4 math problems before I returned on his home work and got another 8 done in a 30 minute time span. He did just under the same amount of work that took him 3 hours last night. Amy awoke screaming. I get her out of the crib and she screams as I carry her, pauses, in perfect calm says “ere’s mama?” to which I reply “nite nite. sleeping” and she bursts into screams again. She’s a manipulative one! She is happy now but not ready for breakfast.

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Depressed Children

I hate anyone being sad. I spent half my life tettering between extreme happiness and extreme sadness. Too much effort goes into sadness. Sadness causes lost productivity, missed opportunities, more sadness, loss and other negatives; but always negatives. Even attention received because of sadness is negative attention.

I asked Sarah, “Are you sad?” and she simply frowned and shrugged her shoulders. I asked “why are you sad?” Another shoulder shrug but definitely a frown to make the point. I asked Sarah if she had friends and she said yes. I asked she something was wrong at home (I’d guess “too much screaming” “the baby is in my space” “you are unfair to me”) and even asked if there is too much screaming around here. I said we cannot guess what’s in her head that if she needs something, she has to ask. I said I reserve the right to say “no” but I want her to be happy and I want her to have what she needs. Without lecturing, at least I hope it didn’t come across as lecturing, I encouraged Sarah to talk to myself, her mother, her grandparents, her school counsellor or her therapist.

Sarah does have a therapist in the same office as Tommy’s therapist. We had multiple reasons for getting her some therapy. The main reason in her mind is to have a private outlet to discuss her hatred of Tommy’s. My main reason is because she clams up and keeps so much bottled up inside her; that’s the kind of thing I did growing up and I know the devasting impacts. I also think she has something unsettled in her mind about this guy that periodically calls on the phone and makes her call him daddy.

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A New Day! Let’s start the day off with a PayPa…

A New Day!

Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning

Woke at 5am to get Sarah going since she has unfinished homework. I think she is sleeping in the bathroom.

Last Night

Sat up and finished Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan. I will follow with a book review.


Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan is a fantastically inspirational book about a woman that at age 50 seems drawn to Australia and destin to have a walk-a-bout with an aboriginal tribe of loving. spiritual people. Her views, and the readers, are challenged as these simple people discuss concepts such as materialism, the damage the Mutant People are doing to the planet, love, anger and more. The book is posed as fiction but hinted at being non-fiction.

I personally read this book whenever I need to get out of the doldrums. I find it spiritually uplifting. The content also makes me think philosophically upon my own materialism, my outlooks and my habits. The book is short and an easy read. I highly recommend it.