"Murphy was an optimist!"
Poem – Current State of Me (aka A Single Moment) August 31, 2004 9:47 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life, Philosophy, Poetry
The video (4MB 1:14) is just me reading the following which in essence is just a list of words so you may just want to save your bandwidth. I suggest that you read column one first, then column two, then left to right all the way down. In the video it sounds like I wrote this in 1988 but it was actually 1998.
Current State of Me (aka A Single Moment)
Normally I like to leave interpretation of any written piece to the reader, however, I think this probably stands to have some explanation otherwise I could just randomly pick words from a dictionary and call it art. Hmm.. Now that’s not a terrible thought!
The following are straight from the journal (6 years ago) with the exception of one that required edits (it’s a journal!) and the notes of course are from the present.
- Writing Things
- The "things" I was writing were my journal entry and the poem itself
- Thinking Change
- The thinking "change" was all that had gone on in my recent past from marriage to getting laid off to starting my own business.
- Dreaming Deranged
- These were thoughts of an alternative path that I could have walked with no debt and unrealistic fantasy dreams. Regret of choices made, desires to change them and imagining how different things would be. Demented thoughts.
- Blinking Dazed
- The dreaming-deranged overwhelmed me and I spaced out for a few. It felt great to momentarily be nowhere!
- Pondering Amazed
- The stepping back into reality after resetting my fuse and realizing the significance of many of the choices I’d made in that recent (and far) past.
- Wondering Craze
- The struggling I did with myself over whether or not I’d made good choices
- Wandering Maze
- I would get lost in my own thoughts and sometimes could not escape myself. It would be like the walls closing in.
- Listening Beat
- I simply took a second to enjoy the music Border’s was playing
- Hoping Reach
- My mind wanted someone to help me
- Praying Seek
- Expanding on the former..a more spiritual cry for help.
- Delaying Weak
- Recognition that I create my own Hell through procrastination, my biggest weakness.
- Straying Lazy
- My inclination (at the time) to give up
- Crazy? Crazy!
- Am I losing it? Through my own actions – yes.
Progress! August 31, 2004 4:33 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
The red station wagon after sitting many many weeks in the driveway has been moved to the mechanic’s to troubleshoot the transmission problem. After that, eradicating the mold and fugus that grew on the ungodly amount of food we left in the car. Every crumb has become a science experiment. I swear when I opened the door a french fry asked, “Are we there yet?” I am so disappointed in myself for allowing that to happen!add a comment
An Interview August 31, 2004 4:32 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
Resume submitted 8 months ago. Very exciting!add a comment
Of Grasshoppers August 31, 2004 2:56 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
Student: When is the end?
Master: When you quit.
News from Iraqi August 31, 2004 1:56 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
Take a moment to watch this. It’s rather eye opening. News of the Resistance
Good Feelings/Bad Feelings August 31, 2004 1:26 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
Good Feelings! Came to terms with one creditor yesterday and another today. Two monkies off my back!
Bad Feeligns! Must work like a mad dog to honor my end of the deals.add a comment
New Neighbor? August 31, 2004 7:46 amPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
Really skunky again. Smelled it last night and stronger this morning.add a comment
A New Day! Let’s start the day off with a PayPa… August 31, 2004 6:25 amPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
A New Day!
I want at least 4 hours of programming each day. If that means I go without eatting or sleeping then I want those 4 hours!
Today can go a couple of different ways. I have an appointment at 11am that cannot be moved and I must be on time. The possibilities today center around computer maintenance, dry walling, computer programming, marketing, sales and invoicing (hmm. That should be pretty high up!). I get the distinct impression that my day will begin with phone support and I may end up downtown again. There is a PTA meeting at the school tonight.
Amy rises. Molly calls.add a comment
The Hats We Wear August 30, 2004 9:21 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
Today I roles got to play:
* Windows 2000 Administrator
* Wireless Network Engineer
* Fire Extinguisher Inspector
* Pet Walker
I think chef ranks highest in my book.add a comment
Tight-ropes August 30, 2004 7:50 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
I dance with the Devil.
My head spins and I grow faint.
The evil swells within me
And the weak shall receive the burden
Of my wrath!
I commiserate for those who have fallen before me
And I commune with the Devil for I am stronger than He!
The Others were eatten, devoured by their lack of connivery
And here I feed. I eat with the Devil yet he devours me.
My anger lashes out! The Devil hides my fear.
My skin crawls. The Devil shows my muscles rippling.
I shall weep! The Devil gives me no tears.
I break. And the Devil smiles for He is stronger than Me.
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Soliciting Miracles August 30, 2004 5:08 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
I sure could use 345 miracles.add a comment
Credit card companies are a bunch of pricks. August 30, 2004 9:42 amPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
Credit card companies are a bunch of pricks.add a comment
Poem – Of Expectations August 30, 2004 7:43 amPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
In Another poem
Near to this
Doug played a game.
Whoever Tells the secret
Of It’s meaning
Uses Mental facitilies
Xanadu Calls to the enlightened
Compensating Mastery of reading,
Thinking, Edification with
A New Day! Let’s start the day off with a PayPa… August 30, 2004 6:23 amPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
A New Day!
At midnight I decided I wanted to pull an all nighter. At 3:30am I woke with much energy and my wife sang with the Sirens to draw me back into bed. At 5:20am I woke with panic. At 6:10am I woke with total anxiety.
Today is going to be very hard.add a comment
Evening August 29, 2004 9:14 pmPosted by djuggler in : Daily Life
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