Extraverted Hermit April 8, 2005 1:32 pm
Posted by djuggler in : Daily Life , add a commentI grew up moving a lot. Each move represented a promotion for Dad and a greater opportunity for the family. We moved from a termite infested efficiency to a house my grandfather rented to us to our first owned fixer-upper property (much akin to the house I own now) to our newly built house to our first built-to-spec two-story Jamestown to a nice brick home on a wooded lot in Germantown, TN. From there I went to college and the moving around becomes somewhat a different story.
Each move to me represents a definitive chapter in my life telling a story of growth, moral lessons, trials and tribulations, happiness, sadness and an array of other Hollywood type themes. With each move, the extravert in me emerged more and more. My desire to have friends squelched any shyness until my junior year of high school. I was a sophomore in New Jersey and a junior in Tennessee. I started off with a desire to focus on studies and ignore people as we would just be parting company in a matter of two years. Little did I know that about half the 674 people in my graduating class would come with me to Knoxville. No matter; I could not contain the extravert.
A side-effect of the moving was that I didn’t develop a history. I didn’t get to know my family and could not appreciate their roots, my ancestors, nor could I carry on any of their legacies. Likewise, my friends could not know or share my history. Others, the hometowners, would tell shared stories that spanned their entire lives. I had trouble developing bonds with people. No matter how badly I wanted closeness of a friend or girl friend, no matter how badly I wanted to develop platonic or even emotional relationships I just could not overcome a sense of distance, unacceptance, separation, and alienation. Something always seemed to be missing.
When I was about 11, the neighborhood kids gathered for a game of baseball. I wasn’t invited. In hindsight, probably nobody was…they probably just gathered. I had a red bike I named Mickey because it had a big sticker of Mickey Mouse on it; in a similar way I named our gray cat, Gray; and our cat with two different colored paws, TwoPaws; and this is why I’m not allowed to name our children. I rode my bike back and forth near the yard where the game was being played becoming more and more incensed that here I was in plain view yet I still was invisible to the people I wanted so desperately to call “friends.” Finally someone, a girl named Angie I think, looked up and asked if I wanted to play. My reward had come! But I could not accept it. I had to snub them they way they snubbed me so I declined and rode off to spend some alone time. Yes, in hindsight it was a rather demented way to think.
I was always at peace with myself particularly if I was surrounded by nature. I would go to a pond, climb a tree and sleep in its branches. I found solace on the tops of buildings at shopping centers. I disappeared in acres of undeveloped woodlands trying to get lost. I hung out at Lake Pontchartrain playing on the levees and rested spread eagle on my back at the end of the airport runway watching 737s take off 100 feet over my head. I danced near the railroad tracks trying to convince myself to hop on a boxcar and see where it would go but in the end I was more interested in finding my smashed pennies than explaining to Dad why I needed to be flown home from Chicago.
Similar feelings and experiences carried over to college but that’s a different story. In the past I intentionally kept myself closed to the world and was an emotionless husk. I did not want closeness. Today I am a far different person with great openness and emotionally exposed. However, when the stress and tension rises I find myself having to fight hard to not retreat within. It would not be healthy for my family but sometimes I just want to shut myself off from the rest of the world.
[Note: On the same day as the baseball game I found a key in the road in Kenner, LA that some 7 or 8 years later would open the trunk of my newly purchased Triumph Spitfire 1500 in Germantown, TN.]
add a commentBizarre Error Message of the Day April 8, 2005 11:01 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily Life , add a comment“managed MAPI service catastrophic error”
First bit of research brings up to this site with these possibilities:
1)
The message « Managed MAPI Service Catastrophic Failure » appears to come from a wrong configuration from the Anti-Spam feature of Norton internet security.To test if this applies to you can:
Launch Symantec Internet Security from the “active icon bar†or how ever your PC is setup;
Click the “Norton Antispam†button;
Click on the “Allowed list†link;
Click on the “Configure†button;
Click the “Import Address Book†button;In doing so you should see the message « Managed MAPI Service Catastrophic Failure » appear …. Answer OK (once or more depending on how many MAPI are wrongly configured)… And the last message would be “Norton AntiSapm did not find any new addressesâ€; click OK…. And “OKâ€; And proceed to next step….
To correct the problem you can configure your Anti-Spam and remove unused services:
From the area titled “Emailâ€, click the “Client integration†button;
In this window, make sure only services you are using are checked; (Outlook, outlook express….); Click OK when done;To test if configuration is correct, click the “Import address book†again, the message should no longer appear; if you have unchecked the correct services…
The response: OK, cool, that works.
2)
It is an Outlook problem! Delete the ‘Business Manager Contacts’ data file and you are smooth sailing. It really is as simple as that. It took me 2 weeks to figure this out. I saw some info on the web that the Busines Manager Contacts feature causes probelms, but not
3)
Are you using Outlook 2003.
Symantec’s web site says this is a known problem, run live update
Mine went away through the use of magic. (And having Outlook already open when I tried to send email from MapPoint)
add a commentSave a tree for my son April 8, 2005 9:52 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily Life , add a commentIt makes me so sad to see needless construction. Satellite imagary shows acres of woods behind my neighborhood being torn down to build houses. That acreage should be preserved and used to connect 4 neighborhoods by greenways and trails. It would be astounding to have a habitat for deer and birds and other wildlife in this part of town that several neighborhoods could enjoy all the while connecting these neighborhoods to the Rocky Hill baseball field.
Once its gone, it’s gone for good.
And what’s more sad is that I don’t have the time, money, energy or political prowess to do anything about it. In my apathy I haven’t even tried calling the Greenways Commission.
add a commentAttempted Amputations April 8, 2005 8:05 am
Posted by djuggler in : Daily Life , add a commentI tried Jack’s amputation technique last night (see also Lost and Do No Harm). Fortunately, I still have my thumb but this morning it is sore!
I’ve started listening to Stephen R Covey’s audio tapes again. I feel that I need the review. Instantly I receive a gold nugget that I’ve longed since misplaced. Stephen advises that once a week we have our children teach us something they have learned in school. That by doing so, the roles are reversed as the parent becomes the student and the child has a greater feeling of self-worth and importance; the child takes a greater interest in the subject matter; and the child’s performance will improve.
This morning I told Tommy I wanted him to teach me something he was learning in school and suggested math. His initial response was to mutter dejectedly, “you probably already know how…” But after I assured him I genuinely wanted him to teach me, he about jumped out of his shorts. He became energized and excited. He said, “I’m learning…well, I don’t know what its called but I’ll find out today.” then he exclaimed, “Yippee! I get to be the teacher!” I was blown away. Now if I can only be a good parent and have the patience and memory to follow thru.
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