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Is the shell cracked yet?

I feel like I live in some bizarre government sponsored experiment to see how much adversity a mind can take before it breaks. Build him up! Knock him down. Build him up! Knock him down. Give him as much as he can possibly take, oh, then give him some more. Oh, I know! Give him a job that requires extreme concentration, and has been documented that a 60 second interruption causes a 15 minute loss of productivity (see also), then let’s give him enough work for 2 or 3 people but give him less than a normal work day to do it and make sure that he is interrupted at least once every 3 minutes. Oh, and since he is in such a predicament let’s make him fill out paperwork for half a day explaining himself then let’s make a major, irrational, unjustified change to the school system requiring great and immediate advocacy to avert a 10 year disaster.

Why couldn’t I get one of those cool experiments like sleep deprivation, LSD overdoses while listening to Justin Timberlake, determining the proper dosage of Viagra, or how many bamboo splitters can fit under a single fingernail?