Apparently a handful of people think that I have an ATM* shoved up my ass. There is no bank in my rectum and despite your belief that I have done it before, I cannot pull cash out of it. If you insist on probing this yourself, double up on the Crisco, and at least be courteous enough to provide a little reach-around. Thanks!
*Quick semantic discussion. ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine so if you find yourself "getting cash out of the ATM machine" stop! You are either getting cash out of the "ATM" or the "AT Machine." That said "automated" really implies "machine" so even ATM is redundant before people tack the word "machine" to the end turning an ATM into an ATMM "automated teller machine machine." Really we should simply "visit the AT" Of course, I think our Oak Ridge friend would get irritated if people just started walking up to him and poked him on the chest several times only to get annoyed that cash wasn’t flowing out of his ass. I can picture that scene! "Hey AT! Haven’t seen you in a while. Would you mind dropping trou after I play with your nipples? I want to see if there’s anything green between your cheeks."
And why yes, I am in a little bit of a mood today otherwise I would not have published a post that includes the words ass, rectum, probing, Crisco, and reach-around. Thanks for asking! But don’t worry honey, I’ve vented on the Internet so you and the kids don’t have to avoid me today.