Today I replaced the brake pads on the van and, seeing that the front tires look like racing slicks, I rotated the tires. A few reminders to those DIYer auto mechanics out there.
- When working on a vehicle on asphalt, place metal plates under your jack stands because unlike concrete, asphalt is soft. That’s why the vehicle keeps getting lower while you work on it. Also makes it a little difficult to get the jack stands out from under the vehicle when you are done but it does leave some neat looking marks in the road.
- When spinning the spider (lug nut tool) around because it looks cool and is fun, make sure you move your leg because nothing is funnier than a grown man trying to explain to the pre-schoolers that he’s crying because he loves working on his "land ship." That’s right! You heard me yell "land ship."
- The lung cancer you got came from changing the brakes without wearing a mask; not Oak Ridge.
- Test the brakes before you move the vehicle not once you have it coasting at 10 miles per hour even if you are "just pulling it ten feet out of the driveway into the road" particularly if you didn’t really tight the lug nuts.
- And, of course, when you break into irrational yelling at the wife and oldest child, just stop. Stop mid-sentence. Apologize and leave the room. That would have been nice.