Reality Me

"Murphy was an optimist!"

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Poem – Current State of Me (aka A Single Moment) August 31, 2004 9:47 pm

Posted by djuggler in : Daily Life, Philosophy, Poetry

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The video (4MB 1:14) is just me reading the following which in essence is just a list of words so you may just want to save your bandwidth. I suggest that you read column one first, then column two, then left to right all the way down. In the video it sounds like I wrote this in 1988 but it was actually 1998.

Current State of Me (aka A Single Moment)

Writing — Things

Thinking — Change

Dreaming — Deranged

Blinking — Dazed

Pondering — Amazed

Wondering — Craze

Wandering — Maze

Listening — Beat

Hoping — Reach

Praying — Seek

Delaying — Weak

Straying — Lazy

Crazy? — Crazy!

-DM 6/1/1998

Normally I like to leave interpretation of any written piece to the reader, however, I think this probably stands to have some explanation otherwise I could just randomly pick words from a dictionary and call it art. Hmm.. Now that’s not a terrible thought!

The following are straight from the journal (6 years ago) with the exception of one that required edits (it’s a journal!) and the notes of course are from the present.

Writing — Things: The "things" I was writing were my journal entry and the poem itself
Thinking — Change: The thinking "change" was all that had gone on in my recent past from marriage to getting laid off to starting my own business.
Dreaming — Deranged: These were thoughts of an alternative path that I could have walked with no debt and unrealistic fantasy dreams. Regret of choices made, desires to change them and imagining how different things would be. Demented thoughts.
Blinking — Dazed: The dreaming-deranged overwhelmed me and I spaced out for a few. It felt great to momentarily be nowhere!
Pondering — Amazed: The stepping back into reality after resetting my fuse and realizing the significance of many of the choices I’d made in that recent (and far) past.
Wondering — Craze: The struggling I did with myself over whether or not I’d made good choices
Wandering — Maze: I would get lost in my own thoughts and sometimes could not escape myself. It would be like the walls closing in.
Listening — Beat: I simply took a second to enjoy the music Border’s was playing
Hoping — Reach: My mind wanted someone to help me
Praying — Seek: Expanding on the former..a more spiritual cry for help.
Delaying — Weak: Recognition that I create my own Hell through procrastination, my biggest weakness.
Straying — Lazy: My inclination (at the time) to give up (note: an odd statement because I often don’t quit even at my own expense.)
Crazy? — Crazy!: Am I losing it? Through my own actions – yes.(note: of course I did not lose it for another 2.5 years)

"Murphy was an optimist!"

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