I love my wife more than anything. She is special! She fantastic! She is beautiful! She is my soul mate. All that aside, she still occasionally makes me feel like Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus.
Me, trying to portion dinner: "Honey, are you a little hungry or a lot hungry?"
Wife, as I mouth the answer: "Medium."
Me: Twitch. Twitch.
I love my wife!
“Are you awake? There’s a bug beside the bed.”
“Wake up. There’s a bug in the bathroom.”
“I wanted to but you were asleep.”
“Find your glasses yet?”