Posted on 5 Comments

Huston we’ve achieved maximum funk

No, not funkadelic just blah. Steer north. Someone contact the Red Cross and see if I qualify for disaster relief. Clearly label care packages as either single malt or extra darkstout. To ensure no breakage, pad the care package with rib eyes. Sheep sheers with a number three guard would take a lot of weight off.

5 thoughts on “Huston we’ve achieved maximum funk

  1. Angelica?

  2. maybe you should just take critter’s path and break out the razor.

  3. My stylist quit and I’m afraid to find another one! Seriously, she’s on at least a year sabbatical. Do you have any idea how big my hair is going to be?! Every morning I look at my old beard trimmer and think of Critter. Yes, he should probably find it disturbing that I think of him the the bathroom..but the thought that I have of him is a memory of him saying “bald is high maintenance!” Then there’s that thing about razor blades being made from the blood of virgins and being laser sharpened in zero gravity while in orbit around Mars. I mean, something has to explain the cost of a thin sharpened piece of metal. Just how many blades do we need to clean our face? Gillette and Schick need to figure out that Moore’s Law does not apply to razors but that Occam’s Razor does! But dude! I could look like Mr White from Breaking Bad!

  4. I’m still picturing Angelica Huston jamming with Bootsie.

  5. Indeed! I went there with your “Angelica?” reference.

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