Reality Me

Category: Daily Life

Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.

  • Burglars in the house? Ask the neighbor to deal with it.

    Last Saturday, I took advantage of a gift card to Calhoun’s and took Cathy and Tommy out to dinner. We chose the Calhoun’s in Turkey Creek and afterwards shopped at World Market. Everything was nice and relaxed until a concerned neighbor called to report that our front door was wide open. Slight panic and concern for Molly ensued. Logical thinking went out the window and I begged my neighbor to please go confront the burglars in my house which she did. Afterwards, she called to report that Molly was sleeping on the couch, she chased the outside cat back outside, locked and closed the door. Tommy, being last out, felt horrible. The relaxing evening we had up to that point now held a tingling tension.

    Bonfire with friends

    Last night we joined a friend for a bonfire at their house. Upon returning home, our front door was wide open. Being the last out, I knew I had locked and securely closed the door. Moment of self-doubt. Then redemption! The scratches on the inside doorknob reveal that Molly, the German shepherd, can let herself out of the house! So, why does she scratch at the door to be let in?

  • My alcoholism is bothering the children

    Yes, in college I drank to excess. When Cathy and I were dating, she was working a health fair and one of the booths was worked by a police officer with "drunk googles" which are these fractured things you put on to simulate intoxication then try to walk a straight line. He watched me walk it really well and coolly commented, "this guy has had too much practice." But college is long gone and I rarely drink now-a-days.

    So, once in a blue moon I might buy a six pack of beer and have one beer a night while watching television with Cathy. On rare occasion we buy a bottle of wine. I certainly do not hide it from the children. They should know that it is alright for an adult to have a drink. Apparently I was wrong. The last bottle of wine was purchased with our full complement in the car so Noah witnessed me walk into the liquor store and knew that later Cathy and I drank some wine! (of course, Cathy probably has all of 4 glasses a year) So, Noah took it upon himself to check out a book from the school library titled something akin to "Alcoholism: Someone in my family drinks too much" What a good caring guy! Of course, he is going to be a nervous wreck before he reaches high school if he keeps worrying like this.

  • And it streaked across the sky…

    Last night Tommy and I had a great pleasure. We saw a shooting star and this wasn’t one of those tiny thin lines way up in the sky. This was a streaking fireball that at first I thought it to be a low flying helicopter as the light seemed to just appear but then it grew brighter and formed a tail then burned in a green ball. It was wicked!

    I have seen tiny shooting stars before but this is only the second time in my life I have seen one so close. The first time I was lying on the ground by a bonfire in south Knoxville and a smoky rock streaked from horizon to horizon so low that it seemed like I could have thrown something at it. I swear I could distinguish pockmarks as it flew overhead. Tonight’s was different and very cool.

    This happened a few minutes before 9pm EST (2am UTC). Anyone else see it?

  • Getting Worms

    I know I’ve said it before, but there is just something powerful about waking up when all the numbers on the clock are the same. Today: 222

  • BSA Comedic District

    Multimedia message

    So the boys are going to go the rifle range and fire guns on Saturday. The meeting has ended, the boys are playing and the adults are having a brief follow-up meeting. The speaker is very serious.

    Speaker: "Saturday we are going to need lots of adults. We will be shooting 4 and 5 people at a time."
    Me, unable to help myself: "Don’t you think our numbers will dwindle quickly that way?"
    Speaker, trying to compose a correct answer stares blankly.
    Me, clarifying: "I mean, you said you want lots of adults and we’ll be shooting 4 and 5 people at a time. I’m not showing up!"

    On a side note regarding scouting, Penn & Teller really ripped into the organization not for the skills it teaches but for the discrimination and hate on the public’s dime. I am a huge scouting advocate so this was a difficult watch for me because I did not enjoy some of the things Penn & Teller point out as I believe we should teach our children acceptance and tolerance.

  • From the mouths of babes

    Tommy, eating some cheese with dinner: "What country is famous for cheese?"
    Dad: "Vaudeville."
    Mom: "Tommy, how’s your cheese?"
    Tommy: "Good."
    Dad: "You should have said gouda."
    Tommy: "Hurry up and finish [your meal], so you can leave."

  • It’s amazing we lived

    I’m glad to have been lucky enough to have survived!

    First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints….

  • How do you and your spouse communicate?

    I woke up this morning with a three letter word written in bold, green letters on my forehead. I noticed it as I brushed my teeth. Being a blogger, I pondered photographing it and writing a lengthy essay about the hazards of living in a college town or how the effects of blackout drinking in the dormitory basement can come back to haunt you years later.

    No. Simply, my wife has creative ways of telling me I am failing in my husbandly duties. Sleep lightly tonight dear!

  • Best thing I heard all week

    Mom: "Sarah, Evan’s wearing your bra."

  • Need a dentist recommendation

    I need referrals to a pediatric dentist in Knoxville. What dentist do you use for your children? What is their style? And what are their pros and cons? Thanks!

  • At 10 there simply is no brain function

    Evan has an ear infection and sinus infection. He is taking antibiotics but a comedy of errors has left him without a decongestant so green slugs continue to pour from his nose.

    No school tomorrow so Noah has a friend over. The boys have graciously allowed Evan and Amy to play in their room and it was so nice to hear raucous laughter from all 4 children. Until! I hear the laughing words, "He’s gonna lick it!" I bolt to the room to see a huge slug stretching from nostril to lip. I race to get tissue to nose but before I can reach him the boys have their victory and more. Not only has Evan tasted the horrid slime but he has spread it to his hands looking like something from You Can’t Do That On Television! And they cackle.

    These guys are going to make great frat brothers.

  • Cleanup on aisle 2

    So, you’ve been fighting a bad stomach for the past day and a half. You think you are finally on the mend and are nursing down a bowl of oatmeal. What’s the last, one word instant message you want to see? "vomit."

  • Of course people don’t want war

    "Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

    — Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

    Source

  • Bad parenting – More thoughts on Blogfest

    "Kids, don’t ever arrange to meet anyone in real life that you’ve met online." Ummm. Unless it is a party with lots of people that you have only met online…

  • I woke as a prisoner in my bed

    3:30am rolled around and my eyes popped open. I was fully awake and ready to be productive! I could not move. I was laying on my right side and the dog was laying on my feet and leaning up against me. Dogs are like better than an electric blanket. So I have the blankets pulled up to my chin and I’m really warm but I can’t pull the covers back at all because on top of the blankets and snuggled up to my chest is a happy, purring kitty. Then comes the icing on the cake! Evan has his back completely pressed up against my back. I felt like the middle of a sandwich made with love. I could not move. I would wake all 3! Now that’s an excuse to sleep in!