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How are you doing?

I think perhaps the most cruel way to greet a person is to say "How are you doing?" No one really wants the real answer. They want the response "Fine thank you. And you?" What if you answered "well since you asked I’m not really doing so hot. I’m trying to be a hero to my kids and teach them right from wrong along with good manners but every time I turn around I’m be kidney punched and my self-confidence is shot. Seems like everytime I start to feel good about myself some smug sob comes along to yank the carpet out from under me. We are really lucky to be keeping food on the table. So, how’s things with you?"

Whenever someone I know is a psychologist or psychiatrist asks the "how are you?" question I grin and want to laugh because they don’t really mean it. So I respond "is that a personal or professional question?"

So I vowed to myself to work hard at removing "How are you?" type greetings from my vocabulary. Instead I choose to use more positive greetings such as "Good to see you!" or "You look great!" or even simply "Hello." Of course moments after I made this vow in my head I bumped into someone and I spouted out, "How you doing?"

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The Onion Foresees the Future All Too Well

Can you believe this was published on January 17, 2001?!

Bush swore to do “everything in [his] power” to undo the damage wrought by Clinton’s two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

“You better believe we’re going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration,” said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. “Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?”

There’s more! Keep reading.

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Oh I Wish I Had Money! – Great WOOT!

Woot has a launch event today. That means they are the very first to be selling a product (via special arrangements). Today’s woot is a Vivitar 8.1MP Compact Digital Camera with 2.5-in. LCD for $299.99 plus $5 shipping. Ultra thin and dandy. If I could I’d buy 3 and tuck two away for Christmas presents.

Of course, at 8.1MP you need to give them a new harddrive also!

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Seeking Juggling Partner – No skills required

When I posted that I’m seeking a juggling partner in or near Knoxville (that sounds like a personals ad) I should have added that you don’t have to be all that good. Most people would say, "I’m not that good" or "I’m not good enough" and it makes me wonder what scale they are measuring themselves against.

I just need someone willing to commit to a little time. I had piano lessons for 4 years and once I showed up for my lesson and the teacher asked, "Did you practice?" to which I replied, "no." The instructor frowned, closed the cover over the keys, and said, "so what do you want to talk about?" The message was clear and left a lasting impression. So, I don’t need someone good. I just need someone willing.

The goal will be to do some passing for an audience near the end of the month. I promise you’ll have a blast. No. This is not a paid gig.

ps. Bonus if you look good in a sequined bikini! Oh no no.. That would be a magician’s assistant instead of a juggling partner.

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Technical hurdle

Finally, my SME Server is working with RH Linux, Apache, Php, and MySQL. Which technically is a LAMP setup since acronyms seem to be all the rag today. Figuring out how to grant privileges on MySQL 3.23.x so that I could use SQLYog (SQL Query Analyzer for MySQL) from my PC was a pain but its working now. I look forward to upgrading to MySQL 4.1. Right now I just want to get back to coding.