Category: Daily Life

Student: Is there a supreme being?
Master: What does He say?

We took the kids out to the park yesterday to meet up with the grandparents, aunt, uncle, and two cousins. Everyone had a blast. Molly came along and in 5 kicks ate a soccer ball that I purchased on the way. I let her off leash for the soccer and she was perfectly well behaved. The law is that the dog has to "be under owners control" not "on a leash"; I had that discussion with some other dog owners walking their dog without a leash who said some people get rather indignant about it. We had only 3 incidents.

1. While I was eating I had the lease under foot and Molly bolted to see another puppy. We had already met and the owners didn’t seem concerned.
2. Once my nephew threw the soccer ball while I was not paying attention and I lost the leash
3. And a barker came through the park. Molly growled and barked but chilled after we let the two see each other. I had good control over Molly but gave them much opportunity to figure one another out.

For much of the time Molly wore her leash but laid on the ground between her people with no one holding the leash. I was very impressed with her behavior.

Noah climbed the outside of the tall enclosed slide. He’s a broken arm waiting to happen but makes me grin because he is such a boy and doing so many of the same things I did at his age.

Tommy chose to stay home. I think he likes it because he can eat, play electronics and do basically anything he wants without fear of someone getting on his case.

Sarah enjoys this old banana board (skinny skate board) that I had stashed in the garage so she was puttering all over the park while the 3 year old sister and cousin chased her.

The younger two were coddled.

A great time was had by all.

I’m downstairs frantically working but want to watch Noah playing Little People with Amy. So I set the webcam on Cathy‘s computer to stream video to my desktop. This is great!

Student: I need to do something that I can’t.
Master: Define need.

Here’s a work-safe must view for all you MMORPGer’s out there.

I woke at 2am then again at 4:30 and finally rose at 8:30. Of course, in times of high-pressure deadlines I find myself calmly taking the time to put a bandaid on a finger that a sparkler burned over the weekend. The finger cannot possibly hurt but the memory of the pain is burned in.

Student: I am not happy with myself.
Master: Ah, the source of everyone’s problems.

Apparently Greenland just doesn’t have terrorism…at least according to The Terrorism Knowledge Base

Tanzim Qa’idat al-Jihad Fi Bilad al-Rafidayn is the current name of the terrorist group led by Abu Musab Zarqawi.

Some terrorists use bombs. Their speciality is having people stand in front of large groups and try to pronounce Tanzim Qa’idat al-Jihad Fi Bilad al-Rafidayn.

Wow! I never realized how many terrorists attacks the US has sustained!

Today is a day to create an excuse to write a check. It is the last time for 100 years that you will be able to date your checks as 7/6/5. If you can’t think of anyone to write a check to my name is spelled McCaughan.

Anyone have a good recommendation for a doctor in the Knoxville area to perform the vas deferens snip? V-day approaches. email me

So, can a man with a vascetomy be Catholic?

What a beautiful downpour we are having right now. I love the sound of the rain!

2am and the keys are clacking!

I forgot to mention that at the time I was on stage with no mic and basically having to choose between speaking to the crowd or performing, which ruins the comedic timing when much of what I do relies on the ability to speak to the crowd, that I was in front of 500 or more people. I really had no way of judging. It could have been 1500 for all I know but I know a crowd of 100 and this crowd was at least 5 times that.

Had my 15 minutes of fame today from the show. Ran into Fuddruckers for a drink for my parched wife and the casher declared, "aren’t you that juggler?" to which I responded, "yes, were you part of the crowd that could hear me?" Front row.

I’m glad people enjoyed the show.

Here’s an example of one of my routines. I have these huge, 9 inch bean bags not quite the size of bowling balls. I get two kids on the stage and I ask one "is this juggling ball heavy?&quot and toss the volunteer one. They respond yes. I then ask, "if I give you another would they be twice as heavy?" to which the response is either yes or no. No is always fun. The third, 3 times as heavy? The other volunteer I give a noise making toy I call my "portable drumroll." I then talk about juggling heavy things and explain "I am going to juggle for you tonight ping pong balls while volunteer 1 juggles these heavy balls" Of course, the volunteer typically protests. I then explain that balance is important in juggling and that I will juggle the ping pong balls and catch one upon my noise (despite the wind and other environmental comments). I juggle the ping pong balls and then toss one high in the air and it lands and stays on the bridge of my nose. I pocket the other two and then reach for a bean bag. Using my peripherial vision I make sure I miss as the volunteer tries to hand the bean bag to me. I usually end up grabbing the top of his head. I then ask volunteer 1 to toss me the third bean bag. As the bean bag leaves his hands I yell "one.. two…" and on "three" it plops to the ground. Sometimes as it leaves his hands I say "on the count of three" It all depends on the volunteer. As I continue to balance the ping pong ball on my nose the volunteer gets the bean bag and then tosses it on the count of three. I juggle briefly, then toss a bean bag up in the air and catch it on the back of my neck. I encourage my volunteers to take bows with me all the while the ping pong ball defies gravity as it hangs from the bridge of my nose. End of routine.

Today my tasks loom ominously above me
Today I cower in ambivalence and distraction
Today I see an unmovable mountain
Today I lift a single grain of sand
And the mountain falls.

The plain expands endlessly
Touching horizon to horizon
I am frozen
I look to my feet and they move
I look to the horizon and it stands still
I look again to my feet and the ground passes quickly
The horizon does not move
I shall focus on the task at hand
My feet move
And know that the horizon shall come.

-DM 7/4/5

Student: Happy Independence Day!
Master: Are you independent?