Blog

Yesterday I accidentally posted my blood pressure as 172/77 and my brother and his wife had a coronary. Being very thoughtful that called seconds after my post published to help make my funeral arrangements and plan for the well-being of the children. Actually they encouraged me to see a doctor. Ironically, the mall had a free blood pressure screening last night. My numbers came in at 133/87, "prehypertension," and apparently gave no alarm to the guys giving the screening since they blew me off with barely word in favor of chatting about which tight buttocks walking past the booth was finer.

The 133/87 is consistent with the typical reading I get on most store blood pressure machines which I’ve now made a habit of visiting everytime I see one.

My best numbers I really don’t remember. In college I was at a grocery store near campus and sat down at one of the blood pressure machines. An incredibly sexy girl and good friend of mine snuck up behind me, blew in my ear, licked my ear and nibbed on my earlobe. Let’s just say my pulse was up.

Yesterday at Target I sat in the blood pressure machine and registered my highest numbers yet. Came in at 150/89 pulse 92. After walking around the store it was 122/77 or something around there.

I don’t exercise and I can feel it killing me. I want to exercise but don’t have the energy..catch 22! I also find myself unable to get up. I committed to myself a while back that I would wake before anyone else in the house however, I’m unable to use an alarm clock. I need a vibrating alarm watch (amz).

I heard Amy this morning up and about. I chose to let her play on her own instead of coming upstairs to greet her. I have to start getting up early again!

The puzzle has been coming together nicely. I found the 3 extra pieces along the bottom and had nearly finished the top half and the right side. We were on easy street. This morning I came upstairs to find the entire puzzle on the floor. Wasn’t the dog with us last night? I ask Amy, “Did you do this?” and she gleefully admits to it. I’m too stunned to know how to respond but begin by setting her in timeout, then almost immediately free her, called her “mean” which was terribly wrong, and told her that Mom would have to get her breakfast but gave in when she started yelling down the stairs to the sleeping mother and baby.

I feel empty because of it. I supposed I should be thankful as I had become to entranced with the puzzle. To what avail? A pointless exercise, although mentally stimulating but tangible representative of completion. It was something I was capable of finishing. It began as time together with my wife but she abandoned the puzzle when I became obsessed.

The experience is very representative of my life. Mis-directed energies lead to unfinished projects with missing critical pieces while someone that needs attention feels neglected. Another vaccuum gets added to my chest. A void that can’t be filled. I feel uncomplete[sic], lacking of spirit, and somehow less of a man. No, it’s more than the puzzle. The puzzle is simply one piece.

Choices now have to be made. Do I redo the work with an end result of spending twice as long and twice the effort or do I let it go. And no, that sentence should not end with a question mark.

It is time to hug Amy and tell her I forgive her and will be a better dad.

On this day I must decide between the convenience of working from home and being close to my kids versus an 8 month / 40 hour per week office job that has been described as "mundane." Working from home means we have frequent cash flow issues; working from an office means not having some of the flexibility that my family may need.

Philip of The Blue Sloth gives me thinking words within his blog "No man is rich enough to buy back his past."

Noah is talking about Star Wars as he acts out a scene with his legos. Amy blurts out, “Far far away!”

I haven’t talked about the birth of my son, Evan, yet. There is so much to tell. I think I will do so in parts.

After Cathy had her epidural she was feeling comfortable enough for a visit from the kids who had been in the waiting room with their grandfather. I went out and sent everyone in. We started to leave the kids toys, stroller and Cathy’s mother’s purse in the waiting room but thought better of it so I sat out with the gear. My anxiety increased. Being alone and separated from Cathy during these moments did not bode well. The waiting room was filling up. To move all the stuff into the delivery room would mean the kids and grandfather would lose their valuable seats but who cares. I packaged everything and rushed back to LDR#11.

Everyone was happily sharing good moments and comforting Mom. The kids were fabulous! Tommy decided he needed something from one of the cars so he and Cathy’s father walked out to the parking lot. Very shortly after they left the midwife came in and announced, “It’s time!”

Cathy’s mother could be a midwife. She is a fantastic birthing partner. Pre-epidural as I comforted Cathy, her mother coached both of us and prompted Cathy to move to her side easing the contractions and so she could rub her back among other techniques. Neither Cathy nor I nor her mother for that matter wanted her to leave the room with the kids. Instead we set the stroller and two chairs just inside the room’s door. Noah (9) and Amy (3) took the chairs and Sarah (nearly 12) took the stroller. Sarah read Amy a book. We pulled a curtain between the chairs and the bed. Noah wanted to watch so I half expected to see curious eyes peeking around the curtain like a miniature totem pole except that Sarah saw Amy born and is traumatized for life. She did not want to watch this one! Now that’s abstinence education!

The birth went very well and the children, except for Tommy, all heard Evan’s first cry. I thought it to be a very magical moment! The grandmother brought Amy around as soon as Evan was cleaned up and the older two took a couple of minutes but eventually came out to hold him. Moments later Cathy’s father and Tommy joined us from the waiting room. I was very proud of my kids!

This blasted jigsaw puzzle is driving me nuts. The bottom edge pieces together perfectly as does the top edge. All pieces snap nicely together and the pictures work excellently except for the fact that the bottom edge is about 6 pieces longer than the top edge. I can’t quit working on it until the anomaly is resolved! It’s like some wicked puzzle maker through in a few extra pieces that just so happen to line up correctly simply to drive me nuts!

Student: Every ending is a new beginning.
Master: End your procrastination.

If you have a friend or relative with issues of compulsion and/or obsessiveness, do them a favor and don’t let them near puzzles! … Or blogging…

Coffee intake up; concentration and focus down.

My wife and I write letters to one another.

I think this is an arousing time to be alive. So much history is being made, constitutions being shredded, history re-written, and now Deep Throat comes out of the closet to choke us up with the story he spits out about his role in the Watergate Scandal. At first the truth seemed hard to swallow. Of course, the whole thing has been a little anti-climatic as the announcement seems slightly premature.

The best part is that conservative living rooms all over the world are joyfully mouthing the words "deep throat" without so much as a thought of the seed they might be planting for their children to ejaculate at an inopportune moment with a teacher or priest. Just imagine the creative excuses that will spurt from the parents in an attempt to withdrawal from their unprotected oral naiveté and keep their faces clean!

Too graphic? Come on!

So my brother-in-law just had a skin cancer removed. The removal process: cut one centimeter around the spot and one inch into the body. What’s up with that?! Did a European doctor develop the circular cut technique and an American doctor determine how far into the body to cut?

I have one of those wallets that has grown into a small filing cabinet that you keep in your back pocket. If you back aches, you may have one of these. My chiropractic brother encouraged me to not sit on this wallet all day long as has been my habit. So I went through a long period of leaving the house and driving around town without my driver’s license since my driver’s license was in my wallet sitting on my desk.

One day this year I found myself speeding around town trying to make appointments in a vehicle that had no insurance, expired tags, without my driver’s license, low on gas and with no money. Murph let me off that time.

So I adjusted my habit and now if I take my wallet out of my pocket I put my keys with it. Can’t leave the house without the keys and if the keys are with the wallet I won’t forget the wallet. One caveat… where the blazes are my keys?!

Evan’s first word!
So Evan is 4 days old now. I’m holding him and Amy is at my side. Evan sneezes. I respond, “Bless you!” and Evan makes a sound. I chuckle to myself thinking, “that sounded like ‘bless you’” then Amy says, “Evan said ‘bless you’!”