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I hate getting to this time of day (10:30pm) and realizing there’s more than a day’s worth of work ahead of me. I really need sleep.

I called my grandfather on my father’s side Pop. He was a three pack a day smoker and died of cancer around age 64. My grandmother is 86 and strong. Today I walked out of a restaurant behind a person that was not smoking but obviously has quite a habit and for a moment I caught a whiff of that distinct smell. That aroma of my grandfather. It was not unpleasant and came with a flash of good memories.

For some reason yesterday was a hard day. I’d planned on sleeping at The Lost Sea Friday night then immediately going to the zoo and juggling from 10am – 2pm. Michael Messing the Magician performed from 11-11:30. He does such a wonder show! We are fortunate to have his help. We gave out ice cream from 12pm to the end of the event and I juggled about 1pm.

When I can’t really remember an age to associate a memory with I usually lump the memory in 12 years old or 8 years old. 12 had to be my favorite year with 8 being a close second. Somewhere around one of these ages I had my first heat stroke. I think it was at a miniature golf course in Mytle Beach, South Carolina. I fainted and was ill in many ways.

Yesterday I did not think I worked all that hard. I mostly tried to just enjoy the event but I came real close to those feelings I had on that miniature golf course so long ago. The afternoon I crashed hard. In the evening I took Tommy to see Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy with his friend and returned to crash again. Since I wasn’t sure if I had a virus I slept on the couch. My skin was hot all the while I had chills. Today I’ve been one tremendous ache. I suppose I’m just that out of shape and doing my routine in the heat of the day yesterday was too much for me. I must begin exercising again.

Laundry

Molly told us she had to go out and we ignored her. Poop to clean.

Outlook is causing MS Word to crash and reporting as a problem with HP’s print driver. This means to send email I have to reinstall MS Office. Delays. Delays. Delays.

I know I’m stressed despite my efforts to remain calm. These next 48 hours are ridiculous. Right now I feel like I’m trying to be "all things to all people" and that’s impossible. I don’t know what to let go. Do I skip the caving trip to give myself more time to clients and paperwork? I really want to see Noah crawling around in those narrow spaces. Do I flat out tell one client that we need to talk Monday instead of today? I really just want to sleep.

Today: paperwork (4-8 hours), client 1 (3 hours), client 2 (20 hours), juggling practice (1 hour), cave supplies (1.5 hours), other shopping (2 hours), seeking entertainers (.5 hour), various phone calls (.75 hour), unplanned diversions (2 hours)

Guess what number most people will play on the Pick 3 tonight!

The Love of My Life points out that if the baby were to come today it would be our fifth child on the fifth day of the fifth month in the year 2005 (5/5/5). And if we could have timed it for 5:55 (am or pm) that would have beautiful! Suppose I should have been doing some coaxing.

Amy after an extended stay in the tub and holding hands up with fingers spread: “Look at my fingers! They’re grandmas!”

Don’t look at me. I’ve never said it!

I just removed the old toilet seat and throughly scrubbed the toilet. While the lid was off and I was out, Noah (almost 9) steps in and uses the commode and leaves. I step back in to find my nice shiny ivory puddled with pools of yellow. I call him in and give him the lecture about cleaning up and he rebutes “but I didn’t miss.” I insist he did and have him clean up the reasons I believe so.

I get the new toilet seat afixed to the commode and moments later Tommy (14) wanders in. Not until after he leaves for school do I happen into the bathroom to discover my nice shiny ivory puddled with pools of yellow. Had I called him on it I know for certain he would have whined at me “but I didn’t do that!”

How do you get two boys that either don’t care or just are that oblivious to aim their weapons? Ah! This will not go over well but I am going to make them clean the toilet everytime they use it so that they become aware. I have suggested to the older one that he sit not stand and he took offense at that. It also doesn’t solve the problem as slight aiming is still required.

I am now managing my time by the music to which I am listening. After each album I should be reaching a milestone. At the end of each album I take a moment to ask myself if I’m in Quad I, II, III, or IV and I review the items I’ve marked for completion on that day.

Overall I’m feeling better and more organized. Despite the adversity in front of me I really feel that things are coming together.

“What a big kick daddy!”
“Molly jumped over the weeds!”
“I used my hands as ‘noculars.”

Amy has also started telling stories:
..and I was in the room…and Molly came in the room…and Molly came in the room…and Molly stepped on me..and Molly…and I hit Molly…and Molly left.. and…

First long phone call. What a waste of time.

This week is ending quickly. We lost an important utility but hopefully will have it back this afternoon. Our annual event to support Children’s Mental Health Week is this Saturday at the zoo from 10am – 2pm. I have to put in as many programming hours as possible. I have dozens of phone calls that will all have long hold times. Doctors appointments. Meetings to try to establish insurance. Preparation for that meeting. Boy Scout pack meeting Thursday. Camping in a cave Friday night to drive from the cave to the Zoo for several juggling performances as I failed to get the 4 entertainers we normally have. If you know 2 variety type entertainers in the Knoxville area that will each do a 30 minute show on short notice please have them contact me! Oh, and I haven’t practiced so my routines will be raw. Oh, and the organization that has supplied our decorations for the past 4 years isn’t returning my calls.

This morning at 7:30 I wrapped up a fun project. Certainly there may be a minor change or two and some support issues but the challenging part is done. What a relief! Onto the next project.