Reality Me

Getting in gear and getting to work!

Amy helped me cook eggs for she and her mother. While cooking I got an unprompted pucker kiss! She is enjoying her eggs now and chatting up a storm. I really need to get minidisc microphone and do some recordings of her. I’ve only done one recording and the microphone wasn’t very good.



A good friend of mine once suggested that I record her once a week to tape (not video) then when she is about 2 you put the tape into one of those children’s tape players and he says its good for about 20 minutes of babysitting! I personally just enjoy listening to her voice develop.

Amy seems quite pleased with herself this morning.

I intentionally leave the television off in the mornings. Amy is now in her playhouse chatting and drawing and having a good time.

Baby up. Diaper changed. Amy (20 mths) really weepy for Mommy. Elmo toy singing “shake rattle and roll.” Elmo has made her happier. Let’s add some food and reading.

Got the kids off to school. Noah made certain to get his hair properly spiked. Couldn’t find the good gel but the cheap one seemed to work ok. Not sure that Sarah had any breakfast. With the baby still asleep I had to decide between getting right to work or cuddling with the wife in peace. I, probably wrongly, chose some calm time with the wife but my presence seemed to be disturbing her slumber and the panic worked its way back in. Grabbing breakfast and going to try to get some work done before the baby awakens.

A New Day!

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This Morning

Laid in bed and had a pretty decent panic attack. Anxiety still high but subsided. Got myself moving at 6:08 and stirred the kids by 6:20.

Last Night

Had the energy to work late but not the focus. By time I started to feel focused I didn’t have the energy. Watched The Guru with the wife then wasted time on the computer looking at useless websites until 1amish. Went to bed at 1:30.

Anger mostly subsided. Now I feel drained and overwhelmed by the incredible amount of tasks I wanted to accomplish this weekend that are left undone.

I now have to work on the tension between my wife and myself. Time to grovel. I just want to go to sleep.

I got retasked at a critical moment in my project. Now I’ve lost my light and am hosed.

Beautiful day shot to hell.

A New Day!

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This Morning

Woke several times in the night. Tommy’s (the 13 yr old) stirring about this morning had me up at 7:20. The wife asked if she could enjoy the favor of getting to sleep in and naturally I said yes. She doubts she will be able to because she expects Tommy and I to end up in a fight and the baby to end up crying. The correct side of me wants to give my wife these opportunities as frequently as possible without any expectations; the selfish side of me wishes a favor in return. The selfish side fo me doesn’t hold that much weight. It’s like 90% unselfish/10% selfish because I get a whole lot of reward out of making my wife happy. Nothing in life feels better than doing for others!

I want to get some cleaning done before the baby arises but it isn’t going to happen.

Yesterday

I was just a poor blogger yesterday. I really enjoy this outlet and hope that my readership does too!

The highlights:

Noah’s (the 7 yr old) maturity level often concerns me. I’m freqently torn between letting him be a 7 yr old and correcting the behavior. I know he can make good decisions. He is a smart guy! But it often seems like he just turns off his brain. His incidents at the pine wood derby workshop. We arrive and immediately start eating pizza. I’m talking to the adults and I turn around to see that Noah has gone over to the group of boys and put this plate with his pizza on the floor so that he could take the hood of one of the boys sweat shirts and is putting all his weight into forcing it over the other boys face. I’m appauled and drag Noah out to have a discussion with him about why were are here and how to behave. Just a few moments pass and one of the younger siblings launch a Nerf football from the playarea into the eatting boys. As an adult asks the children not to do that, Noah, the boy furtherest from the play area, deliberatly sets his plate down, runs through the older boys, grabs a plush toy (stuffed animal like a beannie baby), and violently hurls it over his shoulder like throwing salt over your shoulder, and almost hits in the face the same adult that was reprimanding the kids. Noah’s energy and intent had me thinking he was going to alternate hands just wildly throwing as many toys as he could so I dragged him out again and asked if he wanted to go home.

I must make more attempts to get him around other kids. I want him exposed not just to the same group of children he always sees but more and more boys his own age.

The baby arises so I will cut to the evening. At the mall I shock everyone by saying that Noah needs to stay with us and spend the afternoon with me. It was totally selfish because I wanted to fly his kite with him (his request). I felt like I flabbergasted the grandparents. They were also concerned I didn’t intend to bring to their place so they could take him to church in the morning. On the ride over there, Tommy (the 13 yr old) is in rare form and being particularly rude; I was being reactive and not smart in my handling of him in the car which irritated the wife because she just wanted a peaceful evening. We spent longer at the inlaws than she intented but I found it quite pleasant. The baby slept in my arms and eventually rose to play with the grandparents. The wife, Amy (the 20 mth old), Tommy (the 13 yr old) and myself returned home for the evening routine and sleep.

Took Noah (the 7 yr old) out to fly his kite. I owe my brother one! We had much fun!

4:17pm. Todos: fly a kite with Noah (the 7yr old), work on Noah’s racer, take Noah to his grandparents, find Jeep manual so I can change out the starter motor.

Dragged myself to a start. Finally got a bath and dressed. Noah (the 7 yr old) and I took the digital camera out to see Sarah (the 10 yr old) and the wife. Noah was terribly excited about working on his pinewood derby race car for scouts and terribly irritated with my initial sluggishness and then the distraction of going to the GirlScouts Thinking Day. What a great event! Noah had much fun but when he reached his fill he was itching to get to the pinewood derby workshop. Took many picture of Thinking Day (will post later). Noah and I got back in the Jeep and rolled it to a start (did I mention the starter is out). He gets a hoot out of that. He particularly loved it when I got out and started pushing to make it roll faster then jumped back in. Mom will be mad!

Some below age level behavior at the workshop but otherwise fun. We are struggling through the boring part. Noah wants a complicated car. We may end up wtih a wedge of cheese. The great cheese racer! That would actually be fun. I got all my questions answered except for forgetting the all crucial question “how do the wheels actually go on?” Our design should grab the prettiest but I’m not sure how we will do on speed. Next year we will go for speed!

Met the rest of the family at the mall and returned home minus 2 grandparents, 1 great grandparent, 1 10 yr old girl; heavy 1 7 yr old boy, 13 yr old boy, 1 wife and 1 toddler. Oh, roll started the Jeep in front of mall security. That should generate some interesting breakroom conversation. “Uh, George, I think I watched someone steel a Jeep today…”

A New Day!

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This Morning

* awoke when the alarm went off at 7 but quickly returned to deep sleep and didn’t drag myself from bed until 8

Last Night

* Apparently needs some explanation – nah…

A little too sticky to write right now (that was fun).

Short version: Dinner with only 2 of the kids. The wildest 2 away with the grandparents. We kept the picky eaters. 7 yr old falls asleep in the restaruant. All eyes on Dad as he carries the young one out to mummerings of “how cute!”

Spray glued myself to the porch.

Sleep time.

(better writing later)