Reality Me

* visio docs created to get a hold and rope in this php/mysql project

* time spent lecturing 13 yr old trying to convince him that school and more importantly the concept of “caring” is important. How in the world do you instill “caring” into someone that really has never considered the concept beyond vocalizing “I do too care!”

* Ate omelette for lunch. (Let’s see how many times we can misspell taht[sic])

* working again

Wahoo! Good Karma!

Despite missing the last payment, the student loan is coming out of default and is being reconsolidated under a new loan with today’s interest rates. Balance should drop from roughly $46000 to $40000 because they are going to waive all but 18% of the late fees. I just need to be able to say I have income (real soon!).

* coffee break over. Wife says I’m dressed like a pirate today 🙂 Or Michael J Fox from Back to the Future. I can’t wait until our debts are paid down and I can get a new wardrobe.

* Sliced and marinated the brisket for beef jerky (see Dietrich’s Jerky Recipe Found that salt has no shelf life unless its seasoned salt

* Fixed wife omlet

– I love to cook!

Dietrich’s Jerky Recipe

Dietrich was a close friend in college with some great outdoors skills. Also introduced me to Oakley sunglasses…thanks for the expensive habit 🙂

recipe: Get a cut of brisket from the store with as little fat as possible. Cut into strips. For chewy jerky cut against the grain (my preferred method) or for less chewy jerky cut with the grain. [I recommend doing this by hand to appreciate the art but after a few times get the butcher to machine cut it. You’ll end up with more fat but its less work. I personally find the cutting an enjoyable and relaxing.] In a tupperware dish or baking dish lay the strips out and sprinle lightly with garlic powder, and kosher salt. Marinate in Dale’s Steak Seasoning for as long as you like. I usually do it overnight. Then dehydrate. Method 1: oven. Cover your bottom rack with aluminum foil. Clean the middle rack then lay your strips of marinated brisket over the rack. Put the oven on the lowest possible setting and dry the meat for 14 hours. Method 2: Using a dehydrater, dry the meat for 8 hours (give or take depending on the dehydrater and your preference–the jerky can be over dried and is horrible when it is). Just like the old cowboys you now have a preserved meat that does not need refrigeration, is tasty, and filling. Enjoy!

Warning: It’s habit forming!

* coffee break

* talked to staffing agency. led them on a little to be able to get the guts to turn them down. Will call this afternoon and explain I had lunch with the inlaws and … something from there.

* disturbing noises upstairs – ignore ignore ignore

* taking 25 mg of meclizine. Not dizzy right now but anxiety is too high. Feel ill.

* calmed with some reading..well..didn’t calm far. Gave me time to think that “I need to feed both cats” “MUST cook today..need pineapple” “money” “balance books” and other todos

A New Day!

Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning

* Worked with the 7yr old on a spelling practice. Had he taken the test without practice it would have been his worst. He may still not fair well.

* Worked with the 10yr old on addition and subtraction of fractions, and improper fractions. I enjoy working with the kids.

state of being

* I am angry with myself. I’ve had some great domains relating to the Tennessee Lottery for a year. I could have been promoting them and had so much traffic to them by now (the first tickets go on sale in 5 days) that I would have been solicited by the commission in some way (lawsuit, partnership, payoff..whatever) or at least been making money in advertising sales. It may be too late to recover. I need to be working fulltime on it but that doesn’t make money plus my life doesn’t really permit it. I have to start sleeping less!

* On the positive side, I began my stretching exercises again today. Those make me feel great and help me find a meditative balance in my life.

today’s goals: Finish (completely) the php/mysql project that I started [hopefully receive payment before the 19th], work on personal lottery related website [this is also a training exercise to bring me up to speed with css and rss-my skillset is starting to feel aged to me], some kind of marketing effort [hmm. I should be specific.] table toppers to several businesses, call employment agency and turn down Memphis job (they will quit working with me..one more bridge on fire), COOK!

Last Night

* found sleep near midnight

* woke from deep sleep and jumped out of bed resulting in a dizzy spell so strong that it floored me (literally)

* overcame mysql problem. After learning how to define the user I realized I’d made a typo in the user name in the code. oops.

* need to rest my eyes. Wife is pissed at me. I — let’s just say I spoke out of line.

Yahoo! Making progress on the db design in mysql. Need to take a break. Miss wife.

good times

* took the 7yr old and the 10 yr old to Krispy Kreme for their great report card doughnuts. Teased them the whole trip saying I was dropping them off for an all night study session at the school “since you got such good grades and want to keep them good they are going to have you stay at the school studying math and spelling” I even went into the school parking lot. I kept prompting “but what would YOU do for an honor roll student” and asked the question many different ways. I was almost to Krispy Kreme before they figured it out.

bad times

* Was having a relaxing evening and watching Smallville with the wife and wanted to get my dinner but my carelessness knocked over an open container of apple sauce which hit the ground perfectly to cover me from head to toe. I was furious and really held it back but still yelled “who’s apple sauce am I wearing”. I resist any cursing but still questioned why open containers were in the fridge and the wife got mad and I feel like absolute crap. I thought I was going to pop a blood vessle in my head because of the mixed emotions but mostly anger towards myself for losing my temper. Now things are unbearably tense.

* That was completely embarassing. Ex-wife’s name on the paperwork and the in-laws paying the Nov, Dec and Jan mortgage payments. Add on another 2 grand that I need to repay to generous people. I look back at the manuals I’ve written and the planning and strategy tools I’ve built in the past and they were so well thought out and well done. I should not be here.

* in laws here to pay mortgage. Head pounding.