Reality Me

Ah! The only way to work. Allnetic Timetracker running, some really good Indian sandwood incense burning, Sting’s Mecury Rising blaring in the headphones.. Erie Mon!

* terribly unfocused. seems I need an immediate goal. Here it is: get a cup of coffee, put on headphones, create dev environment for new project (track hours)

* NEED FOOD!

Wahoo! Tennessee Lottery Results is coming! Also TN Lottery Results. Starts January 20, 2004!

* It’s hot as Hades upstairs and cold as a refrigerator downstairs. I’m so tempted just to light up a fire in the wood stove. Negatives: none of the wood is split and the flue hasn’t been inspected for 2 years.

* One marketing email off

A New Day!

Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning

* Woke at 6:07 and got the kids going. I was wide awake but could not convince myself to do stretching exercises or even go upstairs and just read. Went back to bed until 6:35 when I returned upstairs the 7yr old was dressed and the 10yr old had been sleeping on the couch. Can’t blame her. Got them motivated and return to bed until 7am. Went upstairs and gave the 13 yr old his medicine, read and took the smaller two to pickup up their friend and go to school. Each time I went to bed either in my sleep or while lying there I thought about what needs to get done and the money situation and get time I experience more dizziness.

* 13 yr old doing what he is supposed to be doing!

* Today ends at 2:30 (maybe). At 2:30 our afternoon doctor appointments begin. I enjoy being a part of these kind of things although I recognize that our time could probably be better spent divided. It’s difficult for me to be productive in the late afternoons anyway.

* Goals today: Submit 3 resumes, get major work done on the small project, solitic other work, get magnetic sign for the car (maybe)

Last Night

Quality time with wife. Found sleep at midnight.

Delimia!

Me body wears down. I need to (1) work on the work I accepted and haven’t started. I agreed to get it done by the end of the week and that will happen. (2) Work on the finances–I must have a concrete figure for all that is owed so I can strategize on what gets paid and what doesn’t. (3) my own website (4) submit a resume but all I want to do is (5) chill with my wife in bed and rest.

* Just returned from D&D session with the 13 yr old. I think he got a better idea of how the game functions. He is jazzed and went straight to “maybe I can be a GM.” If I stay in town, I’d like to work it out where perhaps I run sessions for a younger age group of kids. I know time is so abundant for us right now. I just don’t know what to do with myself.

* Dinner done. 3 youngest bathed. These past couple of hours are why parents don’t need the gym. Heart rate up. Many miles walked (in the interior of a 2000 sq ft house).

* 13 yr old high as a kite since we are about to go observe a D&D game.

* Score 1000 more on the “bad dad” ometer. 7 yr old throws up after I gave him tylenol and coolaid….grape and fruit punch respectively. Bad idea! A cold compress and a rest on the couch would have been in order. Of course, I blow up and ask why when standing in the bathroom he has to throw up all over the floor when there is a sink, toilet, tub and trash can he could aim for (What a schmuck I am!). My mind was more on the new cabinet that I installed and the fact that I have sealed the bottom front yet where the puke is now going under the cabinet. Need to work on my sympathy and temper! To make it worse, I proceed to yell at the 13 yr old while he is holding the 19mth old. Ok.. Everyone cry! 10 yr old returns home. Corrective measures begin with my apologies to the kids. Clean up the mess. Check the 7 yr old for fever. Get the 10 yr old and 13 yr old to place nice with the 19 mth old. Remove bottom draw. Mess cleans up easily. Yelled for no good reason (there is NEVER a good reason). Will torment myself with this for a while. Must return to save older siblings from youngest.

* 10 yr old wants to play with the 7 yr old boys with the high school boys alone in the house. I say no. So she changes it to can I play at her friend’s house which is right beside the boys–for all I know, she’s with the boys (paranoid yes).

* 7 yr old crashes bike and does his first body over handle bars flip. Is rather shaken up. I of course immediately change the subject by yelling at him for wearing his school shoes to play in the mud–score 10 on the “bad dad” meter. I catch myself and fix things up. We have tylenol, check out the bike and go for a short ride then have some coolaid and head to the bath. “Head hurts bad.”

* 13 yr old baby sitting again.

* I decide that its time to cook dinner and a meal for tomorrow as well as some beef jerky. 7 yr old calling.

* oh. It would appear we’ve lost our first utility today. Garbage pickup never came. I guess they are really mad at us.

* Criminal background check sent. Awaiting fedex of contract and information on where to go for drug testing.

* Wife off to some time for herself ( a surprise for me? )

* 13 yr old babysitting the 19 mth old. 7 yr old off with friends. 10 yr old playing with 5 yr old granddaughter of nice people from across the street (they won’t let her inside the house. Perhaps they now question me after witnessing my temper with the 13yr old a few times).

* Breaking to re-group and replan the rest of the day. Open day planner…

* totally unfocused right now. Got a major email off. Let’s see. What next. Criminal background information should be completed and faxed.