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Tongue faster than brain!

When the college student at the liquor store suggests that the bottle of wine you are holding also comes in a label without the two lesbian women kissing on it, and that your wife might appreciate the plain label, don’t respond with "Ah, but the other night she had a…oh, tmi." and think you can leave the store without finishing the story.

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Social Ineptitude

I had one of those very strange moments. I bumped into an old friend and mentor this evening. I was overjoyed to see him and his wife. However, as an influx of blocked memories overwhelmed me and my mind reeled with conflicting thoughts on how to summarize my past 15 year while networking (he works where I would like to) and re-establishing a friendship, and all I could do is babble incoherently. You know. Your tongue swells up and your IQ drops 80 points. I parted company with my friends but decided not to let go of the awkwardness as I spoke nonsense to the cashier danced with other patrons as we tried to negotiate right of way, bumped into people entering the store as I tried to exit and froggered across the parking lot to my car where I realized I had forgotten to finishing my shopping.

As an extrovert who likes to entertain I think I have social skills down pretty well. I have always been an adult, although my permanent age is probably 24 or 18, and as such throughout my life I have found myself in social situations trying to keep the perfect rhythm of conversation, that balance of who leads who gets to be the subject of conversation and assuring that everyone gets a moment of self-importance. Often I review a conversation in my head thinking of the blunders and missed opportunities or lost points. Conversation is an art and it must be practiced. Locked away in my basement and having less and less adult contact, I feel my conversational skills slipping away. More and more I leave a conversation with almost a teenage awkwardness wondering why my head feels so fuzzy. Blast that brain cloud!

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Ghost Pain

When I was in middle school or early high school I had an unusual bump on my leg. I ended up a at dermatologist freezing off a wart and asked about the bump. On inspection, the doctor explained that it looked like a foreign object in my leg. His suspicion was that a mosquito bit me and when it got swatted a piece of the insect remained in my leg and a cyst grew around it. This was frozen off and left a small scar which remains bright white when my legs tan. On occasion, like today, that spot on my leg makes me very aware that at one point it had an issue. There is no reason for the feeling and it is not hurtful but as if someone had a fingertip touching that spot on my leg with firm pressure. Of course, this is nothing compared to my wife’s weather toe and weather front detecting migraines. Now she has talent!