September 11, 2009 – Reality Me

Posted on September 11, 2009 by Doug McCaughan — Leave a comment

Absorbing ourselves

And I was consumed with darkness
So this is death
But there is no light
Death brings the light
Enlightenment
Only darkness
Where did the light go?
No, from where did the darkness emanate?
Within!
That hollow feeling in my chest
A black hole
Sucking the light away
Sucking the life away
Pulling me down
Down
Infinitely
Down
Falling
Failing
Spinning
Swirling
Going
Going
Going
Gone.

Posted on September 11, 2009September 11, 2009 by Doug McCaughan — Leave a comment

From the mouths of babes

Evan, 4 years old: "Dad doesn’t like me when I talk with an outside voice."
Me: "That’s not true. I always like you."
Evan: "But you don’t like me when I has an outside voice."
Me: "I always like you. It’s the loud noise I don’t like."
Evan: "No. You don’t like me."
Me: "I love you! I like you. I don’t like your outside voice inside the house."
Evan: "You don’t like me when I use my outside voice."
Me: "I like you! I like you no matter what you do! I will always like you. I don’t like the noise."
Evan: "Oh, you don’t like my outside voice."

This conversation felt endless. I remember holding Evan and trying to rock him to sleep. I looked into his eyes and told him, "I cannot wait to have conversations with you!" I love talking with Evan. Still, some of our conversations leave me shaking my head and left in disbelief at the words spilling from my mouth.