Evan, 7 years old: “Daddy, why do you have spots all over you?”
Me: “Because your grandmother knew it was time to leave the beach when your uncle and I turned red.”
Day: February 20, 2013
Metholopy
"Yo I been out there all night slangin’ crystal. Don’t pass Go bitch."
[Source, Methopoly lets you play Breaking Bad at home without ruining your entire life]