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The Joy of English

This is one that has bothered me much of my life because in context I rarely know if someone is referring to a fortnight or not.

Biweekly and bimonthly can mean the same thing because of the prefix bi-, which here can mean “occurring every two” or “occurring twice in.” Therefore, biweekly can be “twice in a week” or “every other week.” Bimonthly can also mean “every other week” if it’s twice in a month, or it can mean “every other month.”


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Bare Those Boobies! But Not in Tennessee…

This popped up in Reddit today. It is legal for women to be topless where men are allowed to be topless in 34 states and territories in the United States. Surprisingly, it is illegal in the Virgin Islands. A little less surprisingly it is illegal in Puerto Rico. Not surprising at all…Tennessee…the most backwards state in the Union. What’s up with Indiana?

Sources: and

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Rocky Hill Elementary Senior Walk

KNOXVILLE: If you have a graduating senior who was a Rocky Hill Elementary Student, RHES is having a senior walk on Monday. The classes will line up in the halls while the seniors walk their old haunts. They are encouraged to wear their graduation robes.

We have selected a date for the RH Senior Walk. It will be Monday, May 22 at 1:00.

We are asking that seniors arrive at 1:00 and gather out front. We are also requesting that they carpool and park at the Rocky Hill Ballfields . Our parking will be limited at school due to other events and dismissal with bus and car lines.

Feel free to spread the word! We look forward to seeing our grads!!

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Safer at Home Order for Knox County

And Knox County is locked down.

“To further combat the spread of COVID-19, the Knox County Health Department has issued a Safer at Home Order — directing all residents of Knox County stay inside their homes, and immediately limit all movement outside of their homes beyond what is absolutely necessary to take care of essential needs.

• Go to the grocery, convenience or warehouse store
• Go to the pharmacy to pick up medications and other healthcare necessities
• Go to medical appointments (check with your doctor or provider first)
• Go to a restaurant for take-out, delivery or drive-thru
• Care for or support a friend or family member
• Take a walk, ride your bike, hike, jog and be in nature for exercise — just keep at least six feet between you and others.
• Walk your pets and take them to the veterinarian if necessary
• Help someone to get necessary supplies
• Receive deliveries from any business which delivers

• Go to work unless you are providing essential services as defined by this Order
• • Visit friends and family if there is no urgent need
Maintain less than 6 feet of distance from others when you go out
• Visit loved ones in the hospital, nursing home, skilled nursing facility or other residential care facility, except for limited exceptions as provided on the facility websites.

Is this Order mandatory? What happens if I don’t comply?
Yes. This is a legally enforceable order.”

Read more

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Knoxville: Knox County Schools providing food to children

Emergency Feeding Information
While Knox County Schools is closed through April 3, 2020, out of concern over COVID-19, the district will be providing breakfast and lunch to any child 18 and under at no charge. Due to federal regulations, food cannot be distributed during an anticipated closure such as Spring Break; therefore, meal distribution will begin Monday, March 23, 2020.

Throughout the closure, meal distribution will occur on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays between 10 am-noon. The district will be providing two days’ worth of meals to be distributed on Monday and Wednesday, and a day’s worth of meals on Friday. Breakfast and lunch will be distributed at the same time.

The meals will be available at one of 25 designated emergency school feeding sites via drive-thru or walk-up for children to consume at home. There is no dine-in option. Children must be present to receive meals; however, families may pick up at any distribution site regardless of enrollment. Additionally, no proof of income is required. Extra meals cannot be provided if additional children are not present.

Distribution of meals will occur near the main entrance of each school feeding site. These include:

• Austin-East High School: 2800 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave., Knoxville, TN 37914
• Bearden Middle School: 1000 Francis Road, Knoxville, TN 37909
• Bearden High School: 8352 Kingston Pike, Knoxville, TN 37919
• Beaumont Magnet Academy: 1211 Beaumont Ave., Knoxville, TN 37921
• Belle Morris Elementary School: 2308 Washington Pike, Knoxville, TN 37917
• Carter High School: 210 N. Carter School Road, Strawberry Plains, TN 37871
• Central High School: 5321 Jacksboro Pike, Knoxville, TN 37918
• Dogwood Elementary School: 705 Tipton Ave., Knoxville, TN 37920
• East Knox Elementary School: 9315 Rutledge Pike, Mascot, TN 37806
• Fulton High School: 2509 N. Broadway, Knoxville, TN 37917
• Gibbs High School: 7628 Tazewell Pike, Corryton, TN 37721
• Green Magnet Academy: 801 Lula Powell Dr., Knoxville, TN 37915
• Gresham Middle School: 500 Gresham Road, Knoxville, TN 37918
• Halls High School: 4321 E. Emory Road, Knoxville, TN 37938
• Inskip Elementary School: 4701 High School Road, Knoxville, TN 37912
• Karns Middle School: 2925 Gray Hendrix Road, Knoxville, TN 37931
• Lonsdale Elementary School: 1317 Louisiana Ave., Knoxville, TN 37921
• Maynard Elementary School: 737 College Street, Knoxville, TN 37921
• Northwest Middle School: 5301 Pleasant Ridge Road, Knoxville, TN 37912
• Pond Gap Elementary School: 4530 Papermill Dr., Knoxville, TN 37909
• Powell High School: 2136 W. Emory Road, Powell, TN 37849
• Sarah Moore Greene Academy: 3001 Brooks Ave., Knoxville, TN 37914
• South-Doyle Middle School: 3900 Decatur Road, Knoxville, TN 37920
• South-Doyle High School: 2020 Tipton Station Road, Knoxville, TN 37920
• West High School: 3300 Sutherland Ave., Knoxville, TN 37919

We encourage families to continue to be proactive in reducing the risk of COVID-19 by not congregating at the school site.

More information related to the extended closure may be found at

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National Emergency – Day 1

Today, the president of the United States declared a national emergency in response to a worldwide pandemic. The pandemic is decimating Italy. China is in bad shape. This is playing out like a post-apocalyptic zombie movie. Of course, many Republicans are calling the whole thing a hoax. They’ve their minds.
I’ve spent the past half a decade trying but failing to make our household self-sufficient but I’m in the wrong tax bracket. It’s very difficult to garden and generate your own power and supply your own water when you work night and day and barely scrape by.
Amy is in Asheville house-sitting for her sister and her SO who are camping in the woods. Those three are safe for now. Tommy is working at Dominoes dealing with the general public so he cannot self-isolate and is the highest risk of being patient zero in our home. Evan is out of school for Spring Break but wants to go to the gym every day. We are going to have to work on him to convince him that tasks like chopping wood are just as good as the gym. Noah is on mandatory “work from home.” We haven’t let Cathy out of the house in a year so she is used to being shut-in and will lead us through this. I’m on vacation for the week.
What next? I’m spending the evening cooking food.

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How often should you beat your kids?

The Mathematical Association of America published a paper in 1990 using math to prove that you should beat your kids every day except Sunday.

Apparent this is an exercise in probability, generating functions, Stirling’s formula, the Gaussian integral, and more.

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Orgasmic Pizza

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

CamSoda has partnered with Lovense to add a button to your vibrator that will order a pizza from dominos. That’s right. Did you just pleasure yourself so powerfully that your legs quit working but you are now starving? No worries. Just reach down to your vibrator once more, push the other button, and dominos will bring sustenance to your abode.