Posted on 6 Comments

Liberals say… Conservatives hear…

What liberals are saying What conservatives think it means
Capitalism is a good system that works very well in cases where demand for a particular product is elastic, and the barriers for entry into the market are low. It fails in cases of monopolies or highly inelastic demand (such as health care), because offering a better product at a lower price isn’t always the best way to accomplish the ultimate goal, namely maximization of profit. In these cases, it makes sense for the government to step in and regulate heavily or provide the product or service itself. WE HATE CAPITALISM! SOCIALISM FOR EVERYONE!
While we understand that in some cases a higher tax burden can reduce investments in new business, we also know that providing services to the poor often causes money to "bubble up", as the poor spend almost all of their income, whereas rich people tend to accumulate mroe money. "Redistributive" policies such as the New Deal and its ilk have been shown time after time to help us recover from serious economic trouble. This is evidenced by the coorelation of economic expansion with said "redistributive" policies. WE WANT TO TAKE EVERY PENNY AWAY FROM THE UPPER MIDDLE CLASS AND GIVE IT TO THE POOR PEOPLE!
A three to five percent tax increase on the wealthiest ten percent of the country would go a long way toward funding a universal health care system. WE WANT TO TAX RICH PEOPLE 100% OF THEIR MONEY AND USE IT TO HAVE THE GOVERNMENT CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES!
While there is certainly dishonesty in science, it is notable that the scientific process resulted in virtually all of the conveniences that we enjoy today. While it’s possible (and frankly unsurprising) that a few researchers out of the many thousand investigating climate change altered their data to fit their conclusions, these isolated cases don’t disprove global warming. Furthermore, moving away from fossil fuels would not only mitigate the very real problems of global warming and ocean acidification, it would also free the United States from its economic dependance on foreign (and often hostile) countries. Additionally, fossil fuels are a limited resource, and it makes a lot more sense to move away from them now and endure a little pain than go through the inevitable, massive crash when they run out completely. WE HATE BUSINESS AND THE ECONOMY AND WANT TO MAKE THE U.S. FAIL!
We live in a world community, and it’s not our place as a nation to step in and take things that rightfully belong to others. That being said, we strongly believe that America remains the greatest nation on earth, even when we disagree with the wrong-headed foreign policy that causes other countries to hate us. The United States should be leading the world by setting an example, not by bullying other countries. WE HATE AMERICA AND WANT OUR COUNTRY TO FAIL!
One of the main notions of the founders of this country was the idea that people are entitled to certain inalienable human rights, regardless of their citizenship or religion. Among these rights is that of a trial by jury. When government officials are able to freely label anyone an "enemy combatant" and deny them said human rights, we are violating one of the core principals on which this great country was founded. Our court system is time-tested, and is quite capable of dealing justice to the guilty, including terrorists. Allowing the executive branch to serve this function in lieu of the courts is a dangerous breach of the separation of powers, and can lead to further erosions of civil rights. WE LOVE TERRORISTS AND HATE AMERICA!

6 thoughts on “Liberals say… Conservatives hear…

  1. You are such a bleeding heart bear-poker LOLOL! I <3 you both!

  2. […] Doug McCaughn at Reality Me has posted a pretty humorous table of what people say versus what people hear. Here’s an example: […]

  3. Doug McCaughan just gleefully posted a comparison of what liberals say to what conservatives hear that was misleading and derogatory to conservatives. I’ve read Reality Me for the last time.

  4. And, seriously, I think comments 3 & 4 might be just as funny as the entire post. ROFLMAO

  5. Re: comment # 4: And yet when conservatives do the same thing to liberals, it’s OK, right? Sheesh.

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