"Murphy was an optimist!"
From the mouths of babes March 31, 2016 9:10 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being DadMe: "I love you Amy. You are awesome!"
Amy: "Thanks. It runs in the family."
From the mouths of babes March 23, 2016 9:56 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babesEvan, 10 years old: "Dad, I need you to do me a favor?"
Me: "Okay."
Evan: "My friends want you to draw one of those pictures on my lunch bag for the field trip tomorrow."
Our spaceship March 22, 2016 2:02 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeI imagine our ancestors’ conversations went something like this:
Scientist 1: “We should explore the universe.”
Engineer 1: “How? It’s so large it would like multiple hundreds of lifetimes.”
Engineer 2: “We’d need a space ship. That could hold a lot of water. I mean like 71% water.”
Scientist 1: “Ok. What about food?”
Engineer 1: “The space ship needs to hold lots of food. Generations of food. Means that we cannot package it. Has to be renewable. That means soil, fertilizer, a lot that water. Oh, and animals. The animals are a food source as well as fertilizer generators.”
Engineer 1: “Damn this is going to require a lot of energy.”
Engineer 2: “That’s easy. Fusion!”
Engineer 1: “That would have the side affect of killing all the people, animals, and plants and contaminating or evaporating all the water.”
Engineer 2: “Not if the Fusion happens off of the space ship.”
Engineer 1: “Off the space ship? That would have to be like 92.96 million miles OFF the space ship!”
Scientist 2: “This sounds great but wouldn’t astroids pose a treat to our space ship?”
Engineer 1 and 2 in unison: “We’d build shielding of course.”
Engineer 1: “Is the Jupiter project still being researched?”
Engineer 2: “It’s ready for production.”
Scientist 1: “Jupiter project?”
Engineer 2: “Basically you take hydrogen gas and package it in an oblong sphere that is approximately 88,846 miles in diameter and gravity will pull all the nearby astroids into the gas cloud obliterating the treat to our space ship.”
Scientist 1: “How do we move the space ship?”
Engineer 1: “We predetermine a course. You will get one relatively straight line so chose wisely. This ship is going to have so much mass that changing direction will be implausible. We will use the fusion energy source as the engine to move the spaceship along.”
Scientist 2: “The energy source that is 92 million miles from the space ship?”
Engineer 2: “92.96 million miles. Yes. That energy source is so massive that its gravity will pull the space ship and the shielding along with it. All we have to do is start with a large explosion, a big bang, to move the energy source along our predetermined path.”
Scientist 1: “Can we have two space ships?”
Engineer 1: “Sure! Tell you what. We can configure them slightly different. And call one Earth.”
Engineer 2: “And the other Mars! That way if one fails, our species continues to explore.”
Scientist 2: “Will the supplies last?
Engineer 1: “Just in case, let’s throw in 11 more supply ships. Each one can be responsible for a raw material that the primary two space ships may need for subsistence. Let’s call them Mercury. Venus. Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus. Neptune. Pluto, Hercules, Apollo, Zelus, and Priapus.”
Scientist 2: “Make it so number one.”
My head throbs March 13, 2016 8:36 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeMy head throbs because it is raining outside and I want to be putting down lye and grass seed. My head throbs because I want to go back to yesterday morning and do yesterday completely different. My head throbs because I need to be working on my client’s work but I want to be writing. My head throbs because I have not yet had coffee. My head throbs because I want to be cleaning my house and making repairs. My head throbs because I have dreams I cannot, will not ever fill. My head throbs because I want to be doing my taxes. My head throbs because I am thinking about anything except what I am doing.
add a commentMay the children and their children be so much better than me March 12, 2016 12:38 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Of Being DadAt some point, I just need to accept that I’m a horrible person and hope that perhaps my children can rise above and not be anything like me.
add a commentThe great destructor of all happy March 12, 2016 12:22 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, Of Being DadI fell…
add a commentFrom the mouths of babes March 11, 2016 7:33 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being DadMe to wife: "You’ve made me old with snapchat."
Disembodied 10 year old voice from the back of the house: "Yeah, you are old" "hahaha!" "Get wrecked." "W-r-e-k-e-d"
