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Store your bullets out of the reach of toddlers!

I went upstairs and couldn’t believe my eyes. Mixed in with the toys scattered across the living room floor was a, um, er, a marital aid. Obviously a 1 year old dragged it out of a storage space and became disenchanted with the toy dropping it in the middle of everything to move onto less embarassing toys like kitchen knives.

Coming close to a recreation of a scene from Parenthood, I openly point out what I am holding to my wife while my children’s backs are to me. They of course whip around with a "What?!" response but I’m too quick. Good thing too because we have a policy in this household of "if you bring it up, you explain it!"

Asking, "What would Alan Shore do?" I reacted calmly, slipping the tool into my pocket, making eye contact with the wife, and calling Sarah to babysit for 3 minutes.

Now honey, your neck massager needs to be put somewhere different. And feel free to read all kinds of double entendre into that.

4 thoughts on “Store your bullets out of the reach of toddlers!

  1. […] I notice that whenever I touch a subject that is tacky (like Sphinterine) or sexual that my readers clam up. I like to imagine they got a giggle but are too embarassed to post a comment and be associated with such material. Granted, my brother posted a "TMI" to the sexual reference linked above. […]

  2. lol
    we have a drawer we dont want the kids to find – i guess most people do!
    not quite sure how we would explain it if they did…

  3. I expect the mother-in-law will find ours baby sitting or something. I hate to go the morbib route but I wonder how people’s opinions change of those passed away as they clean out their belongings. “They were such as sweet couple. Oh my! Maybe ‘sweet’ isn’t the best word choice…”

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