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Orgasmic Pizza

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

CamSoda has partnered with Lovense to add a button to your vibrator that will order a pizza from dominos. That’s right. Did you just pleasure yourself so powerfully that your legs quit working but you are now starving? No worries. Just reach down to your vibrator once more, push the other button, and dominos will bring sustenance to your abode.

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I’m not shopping there

While I would have to become a recluse living in a cave in the woods and buying nothing from any company to ride my moral high horse, I still don’t have to shop at Hobby Lobby who ships junk from China and resells it at a high markup. (just read this…search for one child per famliy and hypocrisy). Hobby Town sells model rocket engines cheaper than Hobby Lobby and Michaels, A.C. Moore, and Jo Anne’s have all the other stuff…cheaper. So, Hobby Lobby just go stand over there with Exxon and Chick-fil-a.

SCOTUS really screwed the pooch on this one. Sure hope they were wearing a condom. Wonder who paid for the condom?

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Well there you have it. I’m a freaking genius!

intelligence has been linked to unconventional sexual practices and frequent sexual activity, thoughts and fantasies.[57]

[Source, Wikipedia, Intelligence]

Here’s footnote 57 citing the original source:

Thompson, Mark (1). “3”. Who Should You Have Sex With. Sourcebooks Casablanca. p. 78. ISBN 978-1402242045. "In my studies, men and women who described themselves as smart, intelligent, logical and imaginative reported thinking about sex more often, fantasizing about sex, and having sex more often than people who did not see themselves as smart or intellectual. They also usually had a wider scope of sexual experiences, including experience with role-playing and other Kinky activities."

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Durex has brought us the future!

My favorite condom company, Durex, is bringing us the future! There’s not a geek that since the time of 300 baud dial up and ascii port who has not imagined the possibly of combining a serial port and sex toys for long distance love. Durex has created Fundawear, a combination of vibrating underwear and iPhones for what Durex deems the ultimate in foreplay.

Frankly, Durex’s vision of touch over the Internet looks pretty fun. Looks targeted toward couples but the potential seems enormous for masturbation or enhancing the experience with those paid Internet porn cam sites. Imagine a single person on Chaturbate wearing these! I can see a new iPhone app now. "RandomVibe" with choices such as "Use BlueTooth to touch a stranger within 30 feet" making subway rides exciting or "Wifi a stranger on your network" making office romance safer or "Randomly touch someone on the Internet" for Worldgasms. Ah! What about one app that allowed you to touch multiple people for "the virtual orgy!" If the generation of free love thought the sex partiers of the 80s and 90s were strange and those generations found themselves envious of the past decade and a half or so of shrinking clothing, lycra, rainbow parties, and oral and anal are okay because I still have my virginity and can keep wearing my ring, their minds will melt with the potential for the next two generations of virtual, supersafe, sex.

Of course, it feels like I’ve seen this before:

See also: Gizmodo and h/t to Angel Stewart.

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Big Orange Blasphemy

#14 Stephanie Psick - LA TemptationMy father watched football regularly. Recliner, beer, game, don’t interrupt Dad. We lived in New Orleans in 1981 for Super Bowl XV and I rooted for Philadelphia and proudly hung my Eagles pennant on my wall. I played shirts and no-shirts tackle football, albeit poorly, with friends in a field of snow in New Jersey once or twice but never played in leagues or school. Football just wasn’t my game.

I came to Knoxville, TN for college and the football spirit sucked me in. Despite the University of Tennessee’s losing team, the fandom was incredible. With a stadium seating over 100,000 people and always packed on game day, it is difficult to not get sucked into the excitement via the crowd mob mentality. I still didn’t understand the game and was mostly there to cheer with the pigskin made it over the goal line. My fandom has waned. I don’t participate in the superstitions and don’t watch the games. But I do get a text message with the final score and am always slightly disappointed when UT loses.

Is it possible to get someone like me interested in football? Apparently so! Welcome, the Lingerie League!

Gang Tackle

And now every guy who reads this immediately heads over to Bing image search for "lingerie league wardrobe malfunction."

Images by KellBailey. See also.

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Do you want your antidepressant orally or vaginally?

The results are in!

Women Who Have Unprotected Sex Are Happier, Smarter Thanks to Mood-Elevating Properties of Semen

Semen is known to contain such "mood-altering chemicals" as estrone and oxytocin, which elevate mood; cortisol, which promotes affection; serotonin, which acts as an antidepressant; and melatonin, which induces sleep.

[Source, Gawker]

And here’s the icing on the face:

Gallup and Burch also determined that women with a significant amount of "seminal plasma" in their system have improved concentration, and excel over their semen-deficient counterparts in performing cognitive tasks.

[Source, Gawker]

So, there you have it. Semen is ‘good for women’s health and helps fight depression.’ [Source:]

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Is your country’s GDP compensating for something?

Why yes it is!

The size of male organ is found to have an inverse U-shaped relationship with the level of GDP in 1985. It can alone explain over 15% of the variation in GDP. The GDP maximizing size is around 13.5 centimetres, and a collapse in economic development is identified as the size of male organ exceeds 16 centimetres. Economic growth between 1960 and 1985 is negatively associated with the size of male organ, and it alone explains 20% of the variation in GDP growth. With due reservations it is also found to be more important determinant of GDP growth than country’s political regime type.

[Source, Helsinki Center of Economic Research, Male Organ and Economic Growth: Does Size
by Tatu Westling, University of Helsinki, ISSN 1795-0562

See also.