Evan, ruefully, to his sister Amy: "You get to walk to the mall from school. I get to eat ice cream on the track."
Mother: "Do you know you’re driving me crazy?"
11 year old boy: "Now I do!"
Context: Evan, our 11 year old, helped me drop one of the cats off at the veterinarian for a comprehensive exam last Wednesday. Behind the scale is this sign. Recently, both our 12 year old and 9 year old German Shepherds died.
Evan, 11 years old, studies the sign: "Dad, I think our next dog should be a three, four, or five."
Me: "Evan, that’s not a menu."
Me: "Alexa, play the Ramones."
Groggy 11 year old Evan walks into the room: "Dad, could you turn down the music?"
Me: "What are you guys doing?"
Me: "Do you want steak for dinner?"
Boy child: "Do we have barbecue sauce?"
Me: "Ok, sirloin for you."
The state of TN is at war with public education. They are out to destroy public education and my youngest two children are on the front lines. We are testing our children to stupidity. The teachers have no time to provide a quality education because we are constantly prepping for the next test. I am pro-gadget, pro-electronic and want my children absorbed in this fascinating digital world with their easy access to all of humanity’s knowledge. However, my ten year old’s generation is suffering as the first generation to be raised from birth with screens in front of them. Their craving for information and multitasking is on par with a cocaine addict, alcoholic, or gambler.
I personally have fallen. I have failed to dedicate time to my children. Today changes that. Today we began meditation and reading aloud (Jonathan Livingston Seagull). Today we began to learn about First Things First with a discussion of the four quadrants and how to live in Quad II. Today is a good day and will be followed by so many more.
Me to wife: "You’ve made me old with snapchat."
Disembodied 10 year old voice from the back of the house: "Yeah, you are old" "hahaha!" "Get wrecked." "W-r-e-k-e-d"
We asked the 10.5 year old to watch something other than Futurama or Simpsons. He begins his breakdown as I try to find Animaniacs or Pinky and the Brain.
Me: "Do you want to play some cards with me?"
Me: "Do you want to play a board game with me?"
Me: "Do you want to be in the same room with me?"
Evan: "I’m going to go take a bath."
I played catch with my son with a football and discussed proper kicking technique. I leveled up as a dad today.
I dropped Evan off at Camp today. Last year I had the pleasure of being a campsite host. I passed on being part of the staff this year. I had the pleasure of seeing several adults and scouts who were part of campsite #8 last year. Really enjoyed speaking with them again. Some were staying at camp and for half a moment I thought how fun it would be to simply hang out with the other adults (the parents are being kept away from the children); however, duty calls.
It was bittersweet dropping Evan off and just leaving. I didn’t even wait for them to hike away from the check-in. He was laughing with new faces, new friends, and didn’t need me around. They grow too fast. I’m quite happy for Evan.
Cathy: "Evan, do you have any self control?!"
Evan, 9: "No but…"
Evan, 9: "Why do we have a weeping angel [on our bookshelf]?"
Me, with intensity: "Don’t look away!"
Evan: *Looks at me* *pauses* *smacks hand to face* "Oh, I would have been sooo dead!"
Evan, bemoaning tomorrow being a school day.
Dad: "I’ll switch with you. You go to work for me and I’ll go to school for you."
Evan: "Ok. I’ll go and ask them to fire me. Then I’ll get a fun job like Chuck E Cheese or Sonic!"