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"Murphy was an optimist!"

From the mouths of babes May 1, 2011 9:13 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes
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Cathy: "Normal people don’t name flies."

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From the mouths of babes April 7, 2011 4:01 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad
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iPhone: *barrrring bringg*
Amy, 8 years old: "What’s our family’s email address?"
Me: "Um. What do you need it for?"
Amy: "I want to comment on videos on Youtube."
Me: "Uh. We need to talk…"

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From the mouths of babes March 20, 2011 3:56 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes
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Me: "Whoa!"
Amy: "What was that?"
Me: "I almost fell off the roof."
Amy, calmly: "Well, that wouldn’t be good. We don’t want a broken finger AND a broken leg."

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From the mouths of babes March 6, 2011 4:20 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, From the mouths of babes, Religion / Spirituality, Touchy Subjects
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Evan, 5 years old, has religious debate: "It’s kinda weird."
Amy, 8 years old: "What do you mean?"
Evan: "Well, Jesus. How did he create himself?"

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From the mouths of babes February 23, 2011 6:22 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes
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Wife, texting: "What’s your plan?"
Me, texting back: "Homegirls!"
Wife, texting: "Wear a condom."

Thank you Apple. Your autocorrect on "Homebound" has either gotten me in serious trouble or given me a hall pass.

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From the mouths of babes – my Cats in the Cradle moment January 5, 2011 9:53 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad
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Evan, 5 years old: "Dad, you don’t play much. You work a lot."

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From the mouths of babes December 17, 2010 9:33 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes
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Evan, 5 years old on the drive to pre-school: "beotch beotch beotch!"
Me, failing to contain shock and anger: "Who taught you that?!"
Evan: "No one."
Me, hypocrite, liar: "I get mad at lies not mistakes."
Evan, confessing and ratting out his friend: *he says his friend’s name. It starts with A but I won’t rat him out here*
Me: *relieved that he didn’t say my name, his mother’s name or any of his older siblings. I really expected it to be from Noah.*

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How children make us stronger adults December 7, 2010 8:49 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Cathy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad
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It’s a beautiful day. Snow has blanketed the landscape. The roads are solid white but schools are not canceled. I’ve been fighting insomnia for the past two nights and I am weary. If I can only get the children to school, I can rest my head a bit and still put in enough hours for my clients today. I drag myself upstairs to find my adorable little girl in the hallway, "good morning!" "Dad, I threw up."

She was good to me and made it to the bathroom so clean up consisted of a flush and a mouth washing. I settle her into our bed where mom can protect her and I take the five year old boy to school all the while covering up my thoughts of lazily sleeping in with the deception of being a good dad offering comfort to the sick child, "Mom and I will lay here and keep you safe." Integrity traded for another half hour of hiding under the covers! But alas…

Upon my return, my groggy wife is upstairs. "Your daughter threw up in our bed." My first thought, "oh poor child!" My second thought, "Wife is upstairs. Maybe her side of the bed is still clean." But no, by my daughter’s special encouragement, I remain a responsible, awake adult and head off to my client’s office [to sleep under the desk].

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From the mouths of babes December 1, 2010 10:19 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad, Sarah
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Sarah, entering college in January: "Dad, can I have $1000 tomorrow? Oh, and I’ll need $17,000 in six weeks."

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From the mouths of babes October 7, 2010 8:02 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes
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Evan, 5 years old: "Amy! You know that girl on the bus who sits by herself and never talks and stares at me? She…talked…to…me! She really did. She talked to me. Me!"

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From the mouths of babes September 9, 2010 7:40 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad
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Evan: If I waste the batteries, daddy can fix it.

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From the mouths of babes September 6, 2010 2:15 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes
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Evan, 5 years old: "A rainbow is my favorite color."

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From the mouths of babes July 31, 2010 10:42 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah
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Two weeks ago we had the van professionally cleaned.

Noah, 14 years old, last night: "Hey! The van is clean!"

All this time I’ve been trying to figure out why teen minds turn off; I should have realized they’re just lagged.

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From the mouths of babes July 11, 2010 6:02 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah, Of Being Dad
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Me: "Have you ever read a newspaper?"
Noah, enters high school in a few weeks: "No."

Me, rejoicing that my saw actually does cut the angels I need.
Evan, 5 years old: "Did you know you’re talking to yourself?"

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From the mouths of babes May 6, 2010 7:47 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes
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Mom: "What are those bumps on your face?"
Evan, almost 5: "Chicken pox."
Me: "What are chicken pox?"
Evan: "That’s when you bump into something and get bumps all over you."
Me: "How did you learn about chicken pox?"
Evan: "I went to another world."

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