Category: Of Interest

I know they are saying the temperature is going to get in the 60s (F) but right now it’s cold as a witch’s titty! Now, you might ask, “How do you know how cold a witch’s titty is?” Let’s just say I knew a few witches back in college. That may lead you to ask, “So, just how cold is a witch’s titty” to which I would have to say, “now we’ve gone too far!”

Now, the expression “cold as…” is rather common despite its potential offensiveness. I had to find the origin.

The simple explanation is that “colder than a witch’s tit” is just a vivid metaphor, like “hotter than the hinges of hell.” Since a witch is in league with Satan, presumably she has no maternal feelings. Thus the medium by which she would suckle a child is, well, cold as a witch’s tit.

But there’s some history behind this wisecrack. A witch’s tit (or witch’s teat, to use the older spelling) supposedly left a marking that witch hunters and courts would look for on the body of an accused person. Supposedly, witches would suckle their familiars, and sometimes the Devil himself, from this “unholy” body part. To find these marks, as well as insensitive spots on the skin called devil’s marks–caused by the Devil’s claws or teeth–the suspects wer stripped, shaven, then closely examined for any blemishes, moles, or even scars that could be labeled as diabolical. To find marks invisible to the eye, the examiner would poke the victim inch by inch with a blunt needle (called a bodkin) until they found a spot that didn’t feel pain or bled. Discovery of these marks or spots–one supposes they would be considered cold since they were a sign of communion with the Devil–would be “proof” of the person’s dealings with Scratch, so they would be shown in full court before the execution.

Is this accurate? I don’t know. I just only searched briefly since I’m on a deadline.

1-800-FREE-411 offers directory assistance for free (must listen to a 12 second advertisement). Snopes has the details.

Saw this on digg.com. I wonder how long it will take this document on beating Scantron to go through the schools. Scantrons are those answer sheets that you color in the circle with a number 2 pencil. The document talks of “hacks” like coloring over the black line beside the question to make the machine skip that question when grading. Or running chapstick down the length of the paper to cause the Scantron to give it 100% on the premise that it can find no questions to grade.

We used to be told that if you are in doubt, guess C. Now I suppose you guess C and, cross hatch A, B and D, and scribble over the black line beside the question.

From the Digg.com comments:

Ah well folks, just to prevent the small proportion of teenyboppers here who are gullible but otherwise reasonable, I’ll just note for the record that this is a complete laugh to teachers, at least my fellow college professors. The teacher can program the Scantron machine to grade any way he likes: it can subtract 1 for each wrong answer and do nothing for a skipped or unreasonable answer (which is on what this poor naif relies), or, of course, it can do nothing for a right answer, subtract 1 for a clearly wrong answer, and subtract 55 for each unreadable answer. It’s completely up to the teacher when he fires up the machine. Plus, of course, he can easily ask the machine to report which forms had unreadable answers. Indeed, it normally does this.

Most of my colleagues would get pissed at an unreadable Scantron, because it has to be graded by hand. I do. In fact, if I find a Scantron that’s been deliberately screwed up — with holes cut in it, ha ha, or filled out improperly, I just assign a zero to the whole thing. Zap! That works out very well — after the first test and a few poor fools are horrified by getting a zero (and there are always a few, who are are very shocked to find a professor is perfectly entitled to assign you a zero even if you know the material) — everyone is very, very careful to fill the wretched things out carefully and neatly.

So, you know, do what you gotta do. But be warned, eh?

The document doesn’t appear on Snopes but it doesn’t sound like any of it should work. Parents be warned! Your kids might be duped into trying such silliness.

(I am in the process of updating some static pages. This text goes with Why I Blog.)

Disclaimer:

First off, I want to say that blogging is stupid. Most bloggers, such as myself, have no journalism training. We are not professionals, are prone to errors, tempted to propagate rumor, and are busily creating a permanent record of non-retractable statements. We paint targets on ourselves and encourage friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers to make comments which, depending on our mood, may hurt our feelings or cause us to make a flippant remark in jest or anger that changes our relationship with those commenters. It is dangerous waters.

Employers or prospective employers can use your blog as a reason to fire or not hire you. I know if I was considering an person for a job the first thing I would do is search for them on the Internet. Of course, if it was me, I’d give more weight to bloggers than to people who only gave me a resume and some scripted references. I encourage my employers and clients to read further.

A blog is a chance for people to get to know you better [than your shrink]. I was raised to “not air my dirty laundry.” I took it to extremes and, until college, I was a very closed person; now I hide far less than I should. A blog creates an opportunity for your views on controversial issues to slip out. While this sounds like truth, you may not want certain people in your life such as your parents, church patrons, employers, children, or those social climbers for whom you put on a facade, to know the whole truth.

The Reasons:

What we do not practice, we lose. Blogging provides a creative outlet for writing, research, technology, presentation, marketing, and social networking. Regular publishing improves vocabulary and grammar. With each entry I publish, I find myself making multiple visits to dictionary.com which in turn has improved my spelling and assured the correct usage of words.

Blogging provides history. As with all journaling, records are kept of good and bad allowing those thoughts to leave our head and be enjoyed or relived at our leisure rather than burdening our minds. Children’s remarkable words and fantastic pictures can be shared and kept for prosperity. Precious moments with loved ones can be memorialized.

A blog is simply a regularly updated website with dated content. For better search engine placement and browser compatibility, a blog should have compliant and valid code adhering to current standards such as valid CSS. Professional websites are often developed under high pressure deadlines and tight budgets which do not allow for experimentation outside the programmer’s known skill set. A personal blog allows for trial and error with lessor used html tags, css designs, and web technologies, growing the programmer’s tool set and professionalism.

Mentorship is important to me. I enjoy teaching and sharing knowledge. Blogging provides an opportunity to give to others.

Community develops around a blog. Blogs are often interactive soliciting commentary from readers. As strangers peer into the lives of a blogger, a connection develops. The reader gets to know the presenter perhaps even better than persons known in real life. As readers comment on posts, dialog forms creating a tighter bond between reader and publisher. Friendships develop between people that may never see each other. Business relationships can form. Support networks can form. Blogging can even be therapeutic!

I caution people never to believe anything read on the Internet; at least, not without checking several sources. Blogs can be totally fictitious. For me, blogging is truth. To a degree, blogging is exhibitionism with a sprinkle of ego boosting. I love to talk and love to share stories, but working independently, and as time goes on, I find myself exposed to fewer people outside of my immediate family. Blogging has become an outlet for me to share my adventures!

Taking a sick day today? Staying in bed? Oh, I wish I could use this day as an excuse to stay in bed!

The sixth day of the week and the number 13 both have foreboding reputations said to date from ancient times, and their inevitable conjunction from one to three times a year portends more misfortune than some credulous minds can bear. Some sources say it may be the most widespread superstition in the United States. Some people won’t go to work on Friday the 13th; some won’t eat in restaurants; many wouldn’t think of setting a wedding on the date.

In other news, Happy Birthday Dad!