Reality Me

That is the question. I tried to place myself in my son’s shoes but he doesn’t have any yet and that’s good because I have a feeling passing a baby through the birth canal is difficult enough without footwear. So I imagined him entering the world and crying at the sudden coldness and disquieting quantity of elbow room. Immediately after he begins to pull himself together he catches a glimpse of his cone shaped head in the mirror, laughs in a surprisingly awkward way, glances at Mom’s breast and declares, “must consume large quantities!” Then his foot is painfully pricked and bent as some of his precious blood is stolen away. Then I imagined the circumcision. After recovering consciousness I thought about it again. Arising from passing out a second time I wisely decided not to think about it anymore.

Student: I see my full potential but cannot grab it.
Master: To grab, you must first let go.

I think I’m going to visit Colorado and Australia and then consider moving away from Knoxville, TN.

AP has a great article discussing the locations in which Lost is filmed. With taunts such as

At the end of a road cutting past a small airfield and another ranch along Oahu’s North Shore is the former site of show’s crash site, long since packed away.

I find myself desiring to travel to Hawaii and check it out. Wes Grotjan is quoted “I feel I’m kind of in on the joke that I get to see a lot of these places.” I can almost relate. When I lived in Kenner, Louisanna I camped out as a scout at the location where Killer Bees nest was filmed (that was the film where the Volkswagon drove into the Superdome and they froze the bees with the airconditioning. I also camped a the location where one of the James Bond films was made (the one Bond drives his boat through a wedding). I was born in Wilmington, NC where Stephen King, starting with Fire Starter, films all his movies. It’s not the same as what Wes Grotjan experiences but I can imagine how it must feel seeing the locations on screen and off screen.

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Fear is the path to the dark side.” -Yoda

Have you ever been truly angry? I mean so angry that all you see is that flash of white. You don’t see the person or people at whom you are yelling. You don’t see your environment. You can barely hear the words coming from your mouth. And the part that gets your ire the absolute most is that no matter what you do or how hard you try you just can’t stop yourself.

Student: Is there life after death?
Master: Perhaps you should ask Websters instead of me.

I’ve figured it out! My boy is waiting until I’ve picked up his journal! For Amy I started a book of letters the day she was born. I swore to write to her once a day. I ended up skipping an entire year. I also wanted a book for each of the children. I’m revamping that and getting each child their own book. I plan to pick a time once a week that I use to sit down and review the week with each child in their book.

I have not bought Evan’s book yet so he can’t come. I’ll fix that today.

I took a little time for me. Now you can make a suggestion for the improvement of TN Lottery Results.

Calm is gone.
Focus shot.
Everybody wants
What I ain’t got.
Made mistakes.
Done my time.
Get off my ass
Leave the past behind.
Man of character
Beat to indignation.
Losing all hope
Of sanctification.
Want the best
For my children.
But what kind of example
Is a man in ruin?

When a grown man cries
The tears burn like steam
Washing away all his dreams.
Life is too short for mistakes.
One screwup and you’re obliterated.
Our world is unforgiving.
Hatred, greed unending.
I try to give and give and give.
They take and take and take.
Where’s karma now?
When’s it come around?
Have I not paid for my sins?
Could I not have a new beginning?
What curse is bestowed upon me?
How can the burden be lifted?
I thought I was good
It makes me sad
To realise I’m so bad.

Error Caused By Hewlett-Packard Company: No Specific Solution Found

Problem Description

An analyst at Microsoft has investigated this problem and determined that an unknown error occurred in Hewlett-Packard Printer Driver. This software was created by Hewlett-Packard Company.

Problem Resolution

Microsoft has researched this problem with Hewlett-Packard Company, and they do not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported. Below is a list of recommendations to take that may help prevent the problem from recurring.

Contact Hewlett-Packard Company for support or product updates.
Additional Information

If this problem continues to occur with the latest product updates for Hewlett-Packard Printer Driver, we recommend you obtain assistance and troubleshooting information directly from Hewlett-Packard Company.

For more help and information about how to troubleshoot and fix common errors on your computer, please see the Microsoft Online Crash Analysis: Help, Support, and Tools article.
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Looks like I need a new driver for my HP Photosmart 1115

I shall light some incense, put on programming music, refill my cup o’ joe and program for 1 hour on a specific project without so much as a single drift of thought to anything else. My reward shall be time spent on my own website.

For the past several days the thoughts in my mind have been like a New York subway at rush hour. Everything non-congruent. Nothing contiguous. It’s made working very difficult.

The thoughts are frequently useless. I spent what felt like several hours in bed this morning half way between sleep and awake thinking of the Year 2000 bug and how to fix it. For the life of me I could not get away from such ridiculous thinking.

Today I began to seek calm by forcing myself to do some stretching. I will give my self specific obtainable goals today and stay on them. Concentration can be trained! My wife wisely advises "be in the moment" and that is going to be my primary focus.

Her advise came during a dinner conversation last night during which we had the pleasure of eatting together without children and I seemed to be wandering. She asked, “what are you thinking right now?” I had to reply that I was thinking several things at once. 1) The lake I could see from Tijuana Taco was beautiful 2) I’m a lousy provider for my family 3)I want to build a service website 4) … I can’t remember but there were about 3 other simultaneous thoughts all which I could do nothing about at that moment. It does not pay to tax the brain with things outside of your control.

Wow. I’m sore. I just spent a bunch of time outside helping Sarah and Noah clean the inside of the car. It’s much improved! I bet we gain some horsepower and a little better gas mileage considering the amount of filth that has been removed.

The redneck police cited me though explaining that if such behavior continues my redneck license will be endanger of being revoked.

Amy just announced out of the blue “I’m going to be a big sister!”

Oh wow! Amy’s in rare form today! She just sung for about 4 minutes straight all the while telling stories in her lyrics. “Noah watched a movie on my bed” la la la “I smell da flowers” la la la “There’s a monster” la la la

Hopefully I got a short film of this.