Reality Me

Blog

  • Awkward parent moment

    Tonight’s awkward moment of reading aloud to your 8 year old brought to by Neil Gaimen in Stardust. I hesitated as I read with enthusiasm, "and her tongue slid into his mouth" but I bravely pressed on, "his hand felt her small breasts through the silk of her dress" huh? "touched the hard nubs of her nipples" Now wait a minute! Did I just read that out loud to my 8 year old boy in the presence of my eleven year old girl?! I flip the soft porn over and examine the back cover for an age recommendation. There is an S in a triangle which I presume means safe but I read the next paragraph to myself and skipped reading aloud the parts about arching, pushing, exulting, and not pulling out because she held him inside her with her legs wrapped around him.

    Skipping to the next safe paragraph, I continue reading to my children.

  • 2016 is going to be weird

  • Walt Gives Hank the Wrong CD

  • Cat problem?

    Do you have a problem with cats accumulating on your hardwood floors? If so, get the new Cat Swiffer!

  • How to sell paper books? Give away the digital edition!

    Amazon encourages purchase of physical books by giving away Kindle books.. Brilliant move!

  • Of Being Dad

    I’d give the world to be a stay at home dad the next 3 years.

  • Saturday Dad

    It’s the first day of a long weekend. Monday is a holiday. I’m trying to maintain my cool despite the stress I am under to complete client projects and personal projects. I feel hamstrung by some of the service people in my life who have failed to come through. A surveyor who hasn’t come out to mark my property lines. An hvac person who hasn’t found the time to consult with me. My attorney is being slow to answer some questions. My electrician … well… my electrician is waiting on me to commit to the project.

    As a father, it is difficult to remember that despite giving your children the same instruction 29999 times that they don’t truly remember the instructions until you’ve given it to them 30000 times. But this is how they learning. Today I watched my son start to use the weed eater without eye protection. Apparently he doesn’t remember his grandfather’s trip to the emergency room.

  • Me

    I am capable of so much more.

  • At the butcher shop

    Me: "Why do they call them cowboy ribeyes?"
    Butcher: "They had to call it something."

  • The Real Reason Jessie Pinkman Sold Drugs

    Source, BoingBoing, Breaking Bad actor Aaron Paul (Jesse) on The Price is Right, 1998

  • Of Being Dad

    I just read to my youngest children for an hour. I am hoarse and happy.

  • Monday Stains


    I really should carry a Tide To Go Instant Stain Remover with me on Mondays.

  • Saturday

    I posed a question on Facebook today:

    Oh my. Program? Cut the grass? Clean the house? Read a book? Run some new pipe? Build a wall? Upgrade the electrical wiring to 12-2? Install a panic button? Wash the wife’s car? Marinate some steaks? Repair the garage door? Clean the driveway? Finish hole 2 of the minigolf? Built a fort for Evan? Paint? Install flooring in the basement?

    [Source, Facebook.com/djuggler]

    Thus far, my day has been:

    • Wake at 5:30 to drive son to work.
    • Wake at 6:30 to drive son to scouting event.
    • 7-8am Help scouts pack van to Shining Rock
    • 8-9am Visit with a friend
    • 9-noon Internet. Some client work. Putz. Pick son up from work. Prepare garage for work on the garage door. And marinate steaks!
    • Noon – 12:40pm Repair garage door.
    • 2-4 errands with wife including Agrifeed for rats, pig ears, and cat toys, Target, and Sears.

    Now to see about a garage door repair.
    Update: 12:40pm Garage door repair complete.

  • He’s Batman!

  • To My Children

    Don’t discount the wisdom of those who came before you.