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The 7 Stages of Knoxville’s Lottery Win

Last night, someone in Knoxville won $259 million on the Powerball lottery! Here is what happened in Knoxville this morning:

  1. Shock or Disbelief: "No one in Knoxville ever wins!"
  2. Denial: "It has to be me. I won’t look at the ticket and when no one else claims it I’ll know I didn’t lose. Argh, I looked and my numbers didn’t match. I’ll put the ticket in my desk drawer and check again later. It’ll be the winning ticket then."
  3. Anger: "Why’d I look at the ticket! If I hadn’t looked, it would have been me! I hope the person who won loses their ticket."
  4. Bargaining: "If only I had bought two tickets. Then I would have won half. Since I didn’t win $259 million, I’ll buy two tickets Saturday and win $40 million."
  5. Guilt: "I really shouldn’t have hoped the winner loses their ticket. After all, I might know them."
  6. Depression: "My life will never be the same without that $259 million."
  7. Acceptance and Hope: "Statistically the odds were against anyone in Knoxville winning. The odds that I know the winner are much higher. I hope I know the winner!"
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Seeking Miracles – Mythical Babysitter

Friday Tommy has Freshman orientation. We have a ton of paperwork to get done before and during orientation. I have yet to see the campus. If I can arrange a babysitter for 12 hours on Friday for a 3 year old, 6 year old and two German Shepherds, I can accompany Tommy and Cathy on the orientation. We have never used a babysitter other than relatives. Exactly how does one go about getting someone to come to your house and deal with your screaming children for twelve hours?

In other miracles, I kindly request the Tennessee Lottery Corporation to select my numbers. Yes, after hearing about Russ’s doorman, I bought a ticket for tonight’s Powerball but I purchased it with ad revenue from