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I hate filtering software

When I worked at The Learning Company we owned 85% of the filtering market with a product called Cyberpatrol. It was ineffective and inaccurate. Often the product blocked sites that should not be blocked while allowing sites that should be blocked to be seen, and children always found a way around the product.

Apparently, Websense has blocked Reality Me and Cathy as "Gambling" sites. What?! So I go to Websense and find that navigating their site is about as cryptic as their blocking of our sites. There is no way to look up what sites are blocked, no FAQ explaining how to appeal, and no way to send an email without being a customer. I find this kind of fascism on the web to be very disturbing. It would be like me opening a business in Knoxville only to find that one day my customer volume has suddenly dropped off without explanation. Then I receive a fax from a friend explaining that the city has removed the road leading up to my business because they had a rumor that my bookstore was actually a gambling establishment. No communication with me. No verifications. Just dug up the road!

I’ve now been on hold with Websense for 11 mintues. My dime. Lost productivity. And why? For someone else’s mistake. This is like when some firm has an accounting error and puts the onus on me, the customer, to disprove the accounting error (which has happened to me but I can’t remember the specific instance). I should bill for this time.

Update: Took 26 minutes just to get a email address to appeal to. About 15 minutes of that was the Websense employee explaining to me that the business using Websense needed to make an exception in the software for my site rather than having their proprietary database recategorize the site. This kind of idiocacy damages the functionality of the Internet as a whole.

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Determined

Evan has gone down for his morning nap and through the monitor I hear this (obviously the quote is what I assume Evan is thinking):

click click click click click “If I hold this thing still I won’t fall asleep”

Now for the visual. Evan prefers to sleep in his swing. He has learned that he can sit up, grab the mobile, and make it quit spinning.

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Blended Families and Lies

Back in January Kristy wrote that she’d like to see more blended families discuss the step part.

Being a step-parent is hard work. The dynamics of the family change almost daily. Dealing with step-parents, biological parents, kids related in all different combinations of blood and marriage… It is difficult. … I know of a few blended families that I read online … but … I don’t read a lot about the ’step’ part.

Like many of Philip’s posts, I thought Kristy’s an inspiration for writing material. Here it is the end of March and little to no references on Reality Me to step-parenting.

Writing about the step part is difficult for me because I don’t view the children as step children despite being their stepfather. I do not want others to think of my children as stepchildren and, despite the awkwardness, I even allow other people to address me with the wrong last name on occasion. We de-emphasize "step." I think it has come up in discussion with either Noah or Sarah once and we pointed out that Amy and Evan are their brother and sister, and technically, if a qualifier was necessary, they are halfsiblings not stepsiblings.

stepwife- The wife of one’s father and not one’s natural mother.

Beyond that technicality, dealing with the absentee parent in a blended family is difficult. One of our challenges is the lies told by biodad. His version of the events that led to the divorce are far different than Mom’s version. Sarah yesterday declared, "I don’t know who to believe." Biodad is a habitual liar. He is so good at it that I am certain he believes his own lies. It is not fair to the children to tell them conflicting stories. All they need to know is that Biodad and Mom could no longer be together. I’ve directly confronted him on this issue but either he disregards it or needs a reminder. The children do not deserve to have to deal with the stress caused by lies.

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Bizarre dream

Last night I had the strangest dream.

Some nondescript female convinced me to help her rob a federal reserve which happened to be located in a police department. Halfway through the robbery I realized I was wearing my graduating high school class t-shirt that cleared showed the school name along with all 674 names of people that graduated high school with me. I also wasn’t wearing a mask. I did my best to step beyond the view of the cameras that were everywhere and turned the shirt inside out. We took all the money, $3000 cash.

As we drove away I witnessed the locals driving their trash to one of my favoriate wilderness areas. Bulldozers cleared the land and moved the trash around.

Police everywhere were looking for us. I turned into a gravel drive and ditched the car. The area had a big land mover that was harvesting the mountain for fill dirt. We ran up a path to the top of the mountain (the girl faded from the dream). As I sat on top of the hill, I comtemplated what a mistake the robbery had been and the damage it did to my life. Next I was in the house of the landowner looking down the hill at a police officer interviewing neighbors. It was a very disconcerting feeling.