Posted on 4 Comments

PG-13 means dick jokes

variety show

Thank you Bindlestiff Family Circus for making me have to explain "deep throating" to my teenagers.

Me: "Do you know what deep throating is?"
Teenager: "Yes. It’s when you swallow something partly then spit it up."
Me, thinking: *close*

I enjoyed their stark stares of dread as they tried to melt into the upholstery during my explanation. They needed an explanation because it was clear they didn’t understand when they made a dozen deep throat jokes in front of the grandfather between the theater and the parking garage. Of course, I really appreciate the detail at which you explained the proper use of a condom. I have been trying to figure out how to have that conversation with them and now I don’t need to.

Cathy's boyfriend

Thank you for the interesting date for the first half of the show. I certainly would have enjoyed sitting with Cathy but I suppose this is called a variety show for a reason.

Your show was innovative and right in line with the style I like to attempt in my performances although I’m more G rated. Thank you for keeping the spirit of Vaudeville alive. I had a blast! Of course, Danny would probably like to know that a highlight of the show was having the very Republican father-in-law sit motionless as the theater erupted into its most raucous cheering and applause in response to the very pointed GW Bush jokes.

Posted on 2 Comments

Time to work; can’t.

I am finally settling in to work. Yes, the rest of the Eastern seaboard is heading out to lunch having already worked half their day. However, I’m so mentally worn out that I’m not sure I can accomplish anything. Why can’t I be more like this guy?

Sixty-four-year-old Thai Ngoc, known as Hai Ngoc, said he could not sleep at night after getting a fever in 1973, and has counted infinite numbers of sheep during more than 11,700 consecutive sleepless nights.

“I don’t know whether the insomnia has impacted my health or not. But I’m still healthy and can farm normally like others,” Ngoc said.

[Source]