Top 10 Ways to have a happy marriage

@RandomChick asks "what’s the key to a successful/happy marriage?"

10. Never let your wives find out about each other.
9. Having a twin brother, never telling anyone, one works/one is at home, and the two of you can never be seen together.
8. Lots of money. Because money can buy you happiness! And it can buy you love. But if you want happiness in marriage, never use your money to buy love.
7. Nannies, babysitters, Mary Poppins, Oh My!
6. Two houses. She should be living in the one you aren’t remodeling.
5. Date nights! Just because you are married doesn’t mean you should quit dating. Get a babysitter for the children and act like you did before you said, "I do!" And don’t talk about todo lists, appointments, or other issues on your date!
4. Remember small things add up. Leave a note, scrub a back, do one of your spouses chores (that is unless she hates the way you fold clothes and in that case just stay away from the laundry!), or knock something off that honey do list you’ve been ignoring.
3. Viagra + Zoloft + Depakote
2. Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and practice it.
1. Be married to my wife! (But be aware you’ll have to support me as well as the five children too)