Last night I brewed a pot of coffee at 10pm to assist in my allnighter. I decided then to take a few moments and sit with the wife in bed while I read a chapter. At the end of the third chapter I decided to lay my head for just a moment. Despite waking several times night, I could not motivate myself out of bed. So I finally rise to get to work and moments later Evan decides he needs my attention for a couple of hours. Frustrating and pleasurable at the same time.
Category: Of Being Dad
Fatherly posts.
It’s good to be the kid
Imagine two 10 foot lengths of ½ inch pvc pipe. Add two boys, one 15 mentally 8; one 9, mentally…well, all nine year olds are mental. I look out the window and the nine year old swings his sword, his 10 foot long sword, at the 15 year old then runs down the street and the 15 year old swings his sword, his 10 foot long sword, in circles above his head while chasing his little brother down the street. Each child laughing manically.
So many $10,000 video moments!
Children Steal Your IQ
- Put 10 month old into swing and buckle securely.
- Hold your left hand as if you were going to shake hands.
- Place a bottle of Tylenol Infant Drops Plus Cold between your thumb and index finger of the left hand.
- Use your right hand to squeeze dropper and remove cap with dropper full of medicine.
- Use left hand to remove pacifier from infant’s mouth by grabbing with index finger and thumb.
- Try to place dropper into infant’s mouth only to realize taking infant to 9 year old’s karate lessons has been a mistake.
- Use pinky finger, ring finger and middle finger of left hand to hold down infant’s right arm.
- Use right forearm to block infant’s left hand.
- Quickly shove dropper into infant’s mouth.
- Realize that since step 7 the bottle of Tylenol Infant Drops Plus Cold has been pouring onto infant’s stomach.
Perhaps I watched too much Three Stooges as a child.
Evan makes the grandparents nervous
Notice Granny’s hand in the lower right? Evan laughs and loves doing this!
Daddy, snap it up!
If there is one thing that I do really bad, it’s getting those snaps together on baby clothes. There should be something better! And when Evan starts kicking, we both start agonizing.
Infant Milestones
Evan, 8 months, slept through the night last night! Now if we can get him out of the swing
Father of the Year
This morning I send Noah to the bus stop in -.5°C weather with no coat. This is not my fault. I provide my 9 year old son with nice, warm coats. He just wants to make sure that if there is a sudden drop in temperature that wherever he is he can quickly put on a coat. So, he makes sure to leave a coat at school, at the grandparents, at a friend’s house and so forth. I just can’t seem to purchase them fast enough so I suppose it is my fault.
Droning on
My favorite mantras for the kids right now are: "Don’t put it down, put it away" and "You don’t get what you don’t ask for." I’ve always been amazed at what people will choose to accept or not receive simply because they are afraid to ask or assume the answer.
Good day to sleep in
I could feel my weary body healing.
Alarm clock 1: Evan, 8 months and sleeping between Mom and Dad, sits straight up and starts looking around for trouble.
Snooze 1: Before he bolts, Dad puts an intriguing toy in his hand. Buys 3 minutes.
Snooze 2: Dad puts Evan in crib and places 3 different toys in front of him. Buys 4 minutes.
Alarm 2: Evan screams. Dad snoozes alarm with pacificer. Buys 1 minute.
Alarm 3: Amy, 3 years, magically appears sitting on the foot of the bed. Molly, the dog, is sleeping in her favorite “dead dog” position which is on her back with all 4 paws straight up in the air toward the ceiling. Dad moves Amy, who has removed her jamies and was looknig cold and stunned, to between Mom and Dad but notices Evan has left a large drool spot which would be uncomfortable on her bare skin so he slides her down some and adjusts covers. Buys 45 seconds.
Alarm 4: Dog rolls over and tries to share the same space as Dad. Evan screams. Dad throws in towel.
Let’s change a diaper and brew some coffee.
Of Being Dad – Wrong reaction
So this morning Evan woke but wasn’t fully awake. Evan sleeps best in his swing
When I took Evan from his swing he laid his head on my chest and started to drift off so I chose to lay down in Noah’s bed with Evan. Amy and Noah were in the front of the house watching television and both Evan and I drifted off. Shreeech! pause Schreeech! Amy has come into the room and is dragging a chair across the wood floors. I implore her to leave the room and she verbally refutes me. She wants to lay in the bed too. Evan’s eyes pop open.
Now, at this time, I have choices to make. I could be the quintessential father and respond lovingly or turn to something evil. Instead of helping her climb into bed, where I knew she would chatter and toss and turn, I asked her to leave. When she argued I barked. When Evan cried out, probably in response to my barking, I physically hauled her out of the room. Then I felt bad so we made cinnamon rolls.
