Tommy: "Mom. Why are bubbles coming out of the wardrobe?"
Category: Family
Happenings in a 5 child, 2 adult household.
Baby Talk
So when Evan, 10 months, shoves his pacifier in my mouth, do you think he is telling me he doesn’t want to sleep?
From the mouths of babes
Tommy: "As soon as I live alone, I’m going to pour to much cereal in my bowl. I don’t care how you teach me."
Climbing
Sarah, the deprived, is off to go rock climbing today with her church group. I found out as I dropped her off that I could have gone along and participated. That would have been a pleasure but might have put a damper on Sarah’s never ending search for independence. If it is too rainy, they will switch to hiking. I am happy to see her participating in such great outdoor activities!
My Son Quit Eating
Years ago my cooking skills were improving. I was toying with more gourmet type means and decorating my plates with garnishes to coordinate with the table center piece. Enter the children. I’m reduced to mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, peanut butter and jelly, and hamburgers. Ketchup goes on everything.
We further complicate things with the children’s eating habits. Tommy is a 15 year old garbage disposal that doesn’t eat spinnach. Sarah is a 12 year old wannabe vegetarian. Noah is a 9 year old carnivore. Amy is a 3 year old wannabe Sarah (that is, she would eat anything and still tries but adores her siste so much that she copies Sarah). Evan is a 10 month old breastfeeder that so far eats almost anything places in his mouth (including all the things Amy has fed him: Cheatoes, peanut butter, jelly, poptarts, yogurt, chocolate, etc.), except when he’s sick.
I thought eating habits were improving. For awhile he was trying new things. In the past he would make this huge production about gagging and having to chase down the miscule sampling that we would let him get away with trying. For instance, we allowed him a single grain of rice and he spent nearly a minute acting like he was going to throw up. One day his progress suddenly reversed. Instead of trying new things, foods to which he had grown accustomed suddenly started dropping off the menu. Jelly became evil so PBJs became just peanut butter sandwiches. The staple green bean, the one vegetable I could get everyone to eat, became a gagging fight to get down; now he gets a single green bean on every plate and won’t touch it. Noah eats no, zero, zilch vegetables.
This week breakfast changed. Noah has reduced his breakfast to a single slice of toast with cinnamon sugar on it. I have no words. I hope he grows out of this.
Sticky
Getting yellow bubble gum off an infant’s delicate skin is no fun.
Ooops. Guess I needed that.
Last night I brewed a pot of coffee at 10pm to assist in my allnighter. I decided then to take a few moments and sit with the wife in bed while I read a chapter. At the end of the third chapter I decided to lay my head for just a moment. Despite waking several times night, I could not motivate myself out of bed. So I finally rise to get to work and moments later Evan decides he needs my attention for a couple of hours. Frustrating and pleasurable at the same time.
From the mouths of babes
Dad: "Amy. Can you say your alphabet?"
Amy: Sings the abcs
Dad: "Amy. Can you count to 20?"
Amy: Counts to 20 skipping 16.
Dad: "How’d you get so smart?"
Amy, without hesitation: "Granddaddy"
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "I’m going to eat this to grow big and strong to take care of Evan because he’s little and silly and ticklely. He tickles me. He makes me laugh."
It’s good to be the kid
Imagine two 10 foot lengths of ½ inch pvc pipe. Add two boys, one 15 mentally 8; one 9, mentally…well, all nine year olds are mental. I look out the window and the nine year old swings his sword, his 10 foot long sword, at the 15 year old then runs down the street and the 15 year old swings his sword, his 10 foot long sword, in circles above his head while chasing his little brother down the street. Each child laughing manically.
So many $10,000 video moments!
Children Steal Your IQ
- Put 10 month old into swing and buckle securely.
- Hold your left hand as if you were going to shake hands.
- Place a bottle of Tylenol Infant Drops Plus Cold between your thumb and index finger of the left hand.
- Use your right hand to squeeze dropper and remove cap with dropper full of medicine.
- Use left hand to remove pacifier from infant’s mouth by grabbing with index finger and thumb.
- Try to place dropper into infant’s mouth only to realize taking infant to 9 year old’s karate lessons has been a mistake.
- Use pinky finger, ring finger and middle finger of left hand to hold down infant’s right arm.
- Use right forearm to block infant’s left hand.
- Quickly shove dropper into infant’s mouth.
- Realize that since step 7 the bottle of Tylenol Infant Drops Plus Cold has been pouring onto infant’s stomach.
Perhaps I watched too much Three Stooges as a child.
Evan makes the grandparents nervous
Notice Granny’s hand in the lower right? Evan laughs and loves doing this!
Out to get me
There is one deodorant that I cannot use. Anything by Right Guard breaks me out in a rash. Pretty much anything else is ok.
My wife and I had this discussion the other night. I ran out of deodorant two days ago. "What kind can you not use?" "Right Guard" "Isn’t that the one I always buy you?" "Yes, their marketing must be very good. Right Guard breaks me out in a rash for three days. Do not buy Right Guard." "Ok. Got it. Right Guard is evil." "That’s correct. I cannot use Right Guard but you always buy me Right Guard anyway." "What kind do you like?" "Gillette works well for me. But you can get me anything as long as it is not Right Guard." "Ok. Got it. Gillette, not Right Guard."
Today in my drawer in the bathroom — Right Guard.
Leave my nose alone!
I look down at my 10 month old (yes, he’s up another month!) and a large amount of snot is pouring out of his nose so I grab a tissue, he sees me, and spins his head 180° and blocks me with his hands before I ever reach him! They learn so fast.
Determined
Evan has gone down for his morning nap and through the monitor I hear this (obviously the quote is what I assume Evan is thinking):
click click click click click “If I hold this thing still I won’t fall asleep”
Now for the visual. Evan prefers to sleep in his swing
