Reality Me

Problem. Diving board missing. Cooking shears missing.

I’m playing Mouse Trap with Noah and Sarah and could not have had a worse run of luck. I just now got my first piece (the stairs) and only have 2 slices of cheese. The kids have put on a total of 8 pieces and have huge piles of cheese. They are having a great time.

I felt myself being short and gruff with the 13 yr old and quickly put it into check. Anger is too strong an emotion to describe my feelings but I will use it for lack of a better word. The 13 yr is having a good time building a model that my father bought him during our Christmas visit. My true anger was directed at myself; I should have given him the time to help him learn modeling by now. I wanted to teach him how to trim the flash, make looking up ways to paint it fun, and enjoy the time with him building a great looking model. I also had some directed at the grandparents for allowing him to start this model because he looked unguided; my main irritation being that no newspaper was put over the work surface – glue everywhere. No irritation with Tommy. The model thus far looks good and I told him so.

I recognize that my feelings are greatly misdirected and that I can still teach Tommy modelling and now he has some experience to grow on. I have grown and learned.

A New Day!

Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning

Woke at 5am. No snow on the ground.

Woke at 6am. News says schools are cancelled.

Woke at 7:30am. Light dusting. Ground can still be seen through the snow. Looks like someone lightly sprinkled powdered sugar on the ground. I get frustrated with myself because at this point I could have put in 2.5 hours of work. Now it will be another 1.5 hours before the wife gets up and I won’t be able to do anything.

8:02am. Weather warning for heavy snow between now and 4pm. Prediction 3-6 inches. Earlier it was mixed with rain and barely visible in the air. Now it’s coming down much stronger. Looks like a Christmas card in the air.

Last Night

Went to the Jeff Foxworthy show as a Red Cross volunteer. No incidents so we got to enjoy the show. My favorite part was listening to Foxworthy talk about the stupid things our generation was allowed to do versus the rules imposed on our kids today; things like running wild in a car versus carseats and seatbelts. Had more affirmation that lawyers are destroying our society. Had more affirmation that our society needs to move to socialized medicine as I talked to an elderly man whose health insurance costs were rising while his pension was lessening.

Phone rang. IM beep. And in-laws walked in the door. Nothing to get done before the show.

I can’t get any programming done today. I can get in my chair and bring myself to be focused long enough to knock out this 1 silly piece of work. Probably 1 solid hour is all it would take but my mind is racing with “review first aid materials” (don’t want to look like a moron tonight), “clean floors,” (mother in law babysitting kids here) “chop wood” (they are now saying we are getting 4-8 inches of snow tonight–the kids are in shorts right now!), “get upstairs and check on the 10 yr old watching the 21 mth old,” (house really needs cameras all over the place), “oh, the 13 yr old should be checked on,” (he’s got strep) “I need a bath,” (not gonna happen) “everything needs to be done in 45 minutes” (ugh!).

Returned from Doctor’s office

Took Tommy to doctor’s office.

Picked Tommy up from school due to sickness.

Went to Red Cross to buy shirt for volunteering at the Jeff Foxworthy show tonight.

Amy loves the outdoors. To help her calm down, we just stepped outside and she identified birds, looked at a dead mouse, laughed heartily when the wind blew in her face and tussled her hair. I never put her down because our yard is in such a horrid state. I hope this spring that I can do several thousand dollars in landscaping.

Time – money – materials – ugh. Need them all at the same time!

Amy in a contrary mood this morning. Maybe that’s not right. She wants a specific thing and everything else is going to make her mad. The first challenge was that she wanted her juice not milk. We worked it out through sign and her spoken words combined. She is happy and identified the outdoor cat on her own as “Gray.” (that is the name we have given the outside cat)

Kids carpooled to school. Tommy’s bus called to say she is running late and will be here after 8 (arrived 7:45). Tommy on his own worked 4 math problems before I returned on his home work and got another 8 done in a 30 minute time span. He did just under the same amount of work that took him 3 hours last night. Amy awoke screaming. I get her out of the crib and she screams as I carry her, pauses, in perfect calm says “ere’s mama?” to which I reply “nite nite. sleeping” and she bursts into screams again. She’s a manipulative one! She is happy now but not ready for breakfast.

Haloscan Commenting is down. Perhaps I should write my own system.

Day going to pot quickly. Must keep a positive attitude. The baby is screaming now for some reason. I thought the wife was going to join us this morning; I disappointed that she’s not because I enjoy her company but she isn’t a morning person. Screaming seems to have subsided.

I hate anyone being sad. I spent half my life tettering between extreme happiness and extreme sadness. Too much effort goes into sadness. Sadness causes lost productivity, missed opportunities, more sadness, loss and other negatives; but always negatives. Even attention received because of sadness is negative attention.

I asked Sarah, “Are you sad?” and she simply frowned and shrugged her shoulders. I asked “why are you sad?” Another shoulder shrug but definitely a frown to make the point. I asked Sarah if she had friends and she said yes. I asked she something was wrong at home (I’d guess “too much screaming” “the baby is in my space” “you are unfair to me”) and even asked if there is too much screaming around here. I said we cannot guess what’s in her head that if she needs something, she has to ask. I said I reserve the right to say “no” but I want her to be happy and I want her to have what she needs. Without lecturing, at least I hope it didn’t come across as lecturing, I encouraged Sarah to talk to myself, her mother, her grandparents, her school counsellor or her therapist.

Sarah does have a therapist in the same office as Tommy’s therapist. We had multiple reasons for getting her some therapy. The main reason in her mind is to have a private outlet to discuss her hatred of Tommy’s. My main reason is because she clams up and keeps so much bottled up inside her; that’s the kind of thing I did growing up and I know the devasting impacts. I also think she has something unsettled in her mind about this guy that periodically calls on the phone and makes her call him daddy.