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Action Park!

Action Park NJ Water Slide Loop

I want to know if JayMonster remembers Action Park in Vernon Township, New Jersey. Although I lived in Medford, NJ (1983-1986) while it was open, I never ventured that far north. Instead I played at Great Adventure (saw the Monkies anniversary tour there). Here’s a fantastic description of Action Park. And here are pictures of the abandonedout of season park. These comments are very interesting too!

I was a lifeguard at Action Park for a summer. We called it Traction Park, and man could I tell stories about that place. Let me just say, it is very, very difficult to rescue an obese, panicked man who just dropped acid. The scratches were incredible. Can’t wait to read the Wiki — I’d never have thought to look.

Edit: A few funny things the wiki omits (although there’s obviously nothing funny about the serious injuries and deaths).

First, a large Hassidic community was located not far from the park. For those who aren’t familiar with the sect, females are required by religious edict to wear heavy ankle-length skirts. Always. As you might imagine, this sucked for swimming, but the non-lifeguard staff, who were often fourteen, were generally responsible for letting visitors go from the tops of various cliffs and slides. They were easily bullied, and every damn time I saw a Hassidic woman at the top of the cliff jump, I knew I was going in. It was outrageous. On the speed slides, which did not have lifeguards because they lacked deep water, it was enormously entertaining to watch our insistent patrons arrive with their ankle-length skirts over their heads.

Second, the wiki forgets a “cannonball” slide that went underground, completely enclosed, and dumped patrons in a very deep pool beyond sight of the launching point. Many non-swimmers launched with no idea they’d hit deep water. Trouble is, a fourteen-year-old non-lifeguard was responsible for letting people go, and the lifeguard at the bottom was all alone. This was, by far, the most terrifying lifeguard assignment. You’d go in for one drowner (or two, as there were parallel chutes) and the nitwit up top, if he wasn’t paying attention, would drop new drowners on you. If you got in trouble, you could whistle and hope guards at the nearby Tarzan Swing would save your ass, but nearby concerts often made this improbable. I was pulled under by people on drugs (they break all the rules you’re taught about water rescue — in particular, they don’t reflexively let go if you swim down); had to pull out an entire family simultaneously; and did, of course, have to pull out the odd Hassidic woman entangled in her own skirt. The scariest thing I saw occurred in my very first week. A large man on drugs (again, you can tell b/c they don’t let go if you swim down), headlocked a female lifeguard who probably weighed 100 pounds. Three guards piled on and had to beat him repeatedly about the head with rescue rings (about the firmness of a baseball) until he let go, by which time he was unconscious and the girl he headlocked had two lungs full of water. It’s something of a miracle that the place stayed in business as long as it did.
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Today’s Confessional – Harassment

As I child, I was taught to "never air your dirty laundry." I am certain that many people, family in particular, find it confusing that I am so willing to openly share my life with the world touching on such taboo subjects as sex, drugs, politics and religion. Why dredge up the forgotten past and mar my reputation, or future possibilities, with a permanent record of folly long forgiven? This is a good opportunity to point to the Why I Blog page.

First off, I want to say that blogging is stupid. Most bloggers, such as myself, have no journalism training. We are not professionals, are prone to errors, tempted to propagate rumor, and are busily creating a permanent record of non-retractible statements. We paint targets on ourselves and encourage friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers to make comments which, depending on our mood, may hurt our feelings or cause us to make a flippant remark in jest or anger that changes our relationship with those commenters. It is dangerous waters. [Source]

That said, I do hold back a lot that others may find interesting. I have done much in my life. I have explored. I have experimented. I have experienced. I have done good and I have done things for which I am not proud. Some of these stories, told briefly in writing and out of context, could all too easily be misconstrued. I would never want to lose friends, job opportunity, or something as important as being able to volunteer with the Boy Scouts of America over a misunderstood story. Now, for a story from my past, which I had hoped to let fade from memory and never have retold.

I love mentoring. I love leading. Years ago I was promoted to a management job. That was the greatest job! I took one last look at my swimsuit calendar and passed it onto a ex-peer. I deleted all my inappropriate jokes, sanitized my office of general offensiveness, took some leadership classes, and stepped into the position ready to be the world’s greatest manager. I planned to be friendly without overstepping bounds. I would be approachable but demanding. If the staff went to an after work gather and I were invited, I would be the last to arrive and the first to leave, if I showed at all.

One day, one of my female staff asked for a meeting with me. We made it a walking meeting since the weather was nice. She asked that I promote her into a position that didn’t exist. When I explained that I did not have hiring authority and that I definitely did not have authority to create a non-existent job, she said, "you’ll regret that" and walked away. I then spent my remaining days in that job giving HR a daily report on how this one particular employee was not being harassed, how the environment was not hostile, and answering questions about the various rumors which flew around the staff. Apparently I was having the greatest sex of my life because there weren’t many people I hadn’t slept with–if you believed the gossip. I was fortunate that HR was on my side; they had good files and we would have triumphed in a legal battle! None-the-less, it did hurt. My reputation was tarnished. Decisions had to be made on the assumption that this employee told an unproven truth. My boss was 2000 miles away receiving my stories, HR’s version, and the gossip. It detracted from the business at hand and I am certain was an underlying reason for the final closure of that division of the company.

The irony is that I saved that employee. She had come from a different division of the company which was being downsized. She was slated to be laid off. I didn’t need any additional staff. As a favor to a VP, I created an additional position for her (yes, that authority I did have) and she was transferred instead of laid off. It is from that position that she insisted I promote her. I should have promoted her. No. I should have fired her on the spot.

I may be a little jaded when it appears that someone is trying to makes gains at someone else’s expense. I don’t like win-lose. I don’t like lose-win. I like positive. I like win-win!

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So, you call yourself Libertarian

You might want to read this essay derived from the official Libertarian platform adopted July 2, 2006.

The majority of you Libertarian converts have no freaking clue what Libertarians actually believe. All you know is that they aren’t Democrats, they aren’t Republicans, and they seem to have this thing against taxes. A lot of new Libertarians were recently Republicans, until the Republican Party got hijacked by a bunch of crazy Bible thumpers. Before that, I daresay a lot of you were Democrats, before the Democrats became a bunch of spineless wimps scared of their own shadows. [Source]

The parts that disturbed me the most were "Libertarians also believe in “full market ownership” of the airwaves and abolishing the FCC." and the property rights stance. I could see full market ownership of the airwaves leading to a single company or entity owning everything broadcast. It would be lousy to get only one style, viewpoint, or genre over the airwaves. HAM radio would be destroyed. Under Libertarian property rights, only the wealthy could enjoy our natural resources (if any remained). Most likely, we would see our national parks developed into exclusive resorts and gated communities.

So, are you really Libertarian?