Confessions of a programmer: As a coffee drinker and programmer, I don’t want a standing desk; I want a desk with a urinal. #coap
Category: Programming
Coding
Confessions of a programmer
Confessions of a programmer: I never presume the previous developer was incompetent. Instead, I assume they just had a drug problem. #coap
Why did they put Doug in a padded room?
Because "The type or namespace name ‘ScriptManager’ does not exist in the namespace ‘System.Web.UI’ (are you missing an assembly reference?)"
How to program effectively
Coding is so much better when it includes wine or beer.
Inside the life of a programmer
Some days require the environment be just right for productivity. Today, I need a darkened room, incense burning, attire that doesn’t include button down anything, bare feet, herbal tea, and very, very loud cyberpunk music. Instead, I am in Cubeville. Florescent lights burn through my eyes searing my brain. The glare is so harsh. A din of conversations float over cube walls as ambient noise but not soothing as white noise, oceans, or rain. Interruptions are imminent. Such is the live of a programmer.
Today’s magic trick
Today, I make Caldera Forms export to Excel.
Making a website look good on all devices
N.b. Be sure to read this.
Responsive design is actually pretty straight forward. Use standard practices and don’t overcomplicate your html. But when we start to tweak something here or there, you quickly find yourself having to make sure that the code has adjustments for various devices. What does this mean to your programmer? Basically having to make changes to all of these:
/*********** Phones and handhelds ***********/
/*********** iPhones ***********/
/* ----------- iPhone 4 and 4S ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 320px)
and (max-device-width: 480px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 320px)
and (max-device-width: 480px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 320px)
and (max-device-width: 480px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/* ----------- iPhone 5 and 5S ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 320px)
and (max-device-width: 568px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 320px)
and (max-device-width: 568px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 320px)
and (max-device-width: 568px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/* ----------- iPhone 6 ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 375px)
and (max-device-width: 667px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 375px)
and (max-device-width: 667px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 375px)
and (max-device-width: 667px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/* ----------- iPhone 6+ ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 414px)
and (max-device-width: 736px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 414px)
and (max-device-width: 736px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 414px)
and (max-device-width: 736px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/*********** Galaxy Phones ***********/
/* ----------- Galaxy S3 ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 320px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 2) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media screen
and (device-width: 320px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 320px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/* ----------- Galaxy S4 ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 320px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media screen
and (device-width: 320px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 320px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/* ----------- Galaxy S5 ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 360px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media screen
and (device-width: 360px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 360px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/*********** HTC Phones ***********/
/* ----------- HTC One ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 360px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media screen
and (device-width: 360px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 360px)
and (device-height: 640px)
and (-webkit-device-pixel-ratio: 3)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/*********** Tablets ***********/
/*********** iPads ***********/
/* ----------- iPad mini ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (orientation: portrait)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (orientation: landscape)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1) {
}
/* ----------- iPad 1 and 2 ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (orientation: portrait)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (orientation: landscape)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1) {
}
/* ----------- iPad 3 and 4 ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (orientation: portrait)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 768px)
and (max-device-width: 1024px)
and (orientation: landscape)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) {
}
/*********** Galaxy Tablets ***********/
/* ----------- Galaxy Tab 10.1 ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media
(min-device-width: 800px)
and (max-device-width: 1280px) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media
(max-device-width: 800px)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media
(max-device-width: 1280px)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/*********** Nexus Tablets ***********/
/* ----------- Asus Nexus 7 ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 601px)
and (device-height: 906px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.331)
and (-webkit-max-device-pixel-ratio: 1.332) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media screen
and (device-width: 601px)
and (device-height: 906px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.331)
and (-webkit-max-device-pixel-ratio: 1.332)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media screen
and (device-width: 601px)
and (device-height: 906px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.331)
and (-webkit-max-device-pixel-ratio: 1.332)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/*********** Kindle Fire ***********/
/* ----------- Kindle Fire HD 7" ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 800px)
and (max-device-width: 1280px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.5) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 800px)
and (max-device-width: 1280px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.5)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 800px)
and (max-device-width: 1280px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.5)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/* ----------- Kindle Fire HD 8.9" ----------- */
/* Portrait and Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 1200px)
and (max-device-width: 1600px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.5) {
}
/* Portrait */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 1200px)
and (max-device-width: 1600px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.5)
and (orientation: portrait) {
}
/* Landscape */
@media only screen
and (min-device-width: 1200px)
and (max-device-width: 1600px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.5)
and (orientation: landscape) {
}
/*********** Laptops ***********/
/* ----------- Non-Retina Screens ----------- */
@media screen
and (min-device-width: 1200px)
and (max-device-width: 1600px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1) {
}
/* ----------- Retina Screens ----------- */
@media screen
and (min-device-width: 1200px)
and (max-device-width: 1600px)
and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2)
and (min-resolution: 192dpi) {
}
/*********** Wearables ***********/
/*********** Apple Watch ***********/
/* ----------- Apple Watch ----------- */
@media
(max-device-width: 42mm)
and (min-device-width: 38mm) {
}
/*********** Moto 360 Watch ***********/
/* ----------- Moto 360 Watch ----------- */
@media
(max-device-width: 218px)
and (max-device-height: 281px) {
}
Confessions of a programmer
My job does not pay me enough to afford the quantity of alcohol required to do my job. #coap
Robert De Niro is inside my head
Confessions of a programmer
Sometimes I think, "adult diapers probably aren’t that bad." #coap
Confessions of a programmer
Coffee is my fuel. #coap
Confessions of a programmer
Sometimes we program; other times, we guess. #coaj
Programmers
Use the error message, Luke.
Programmers
Terrified of buses; fascinated with rabbit holes.
You might be a programmer
You might be a programmer if…
…you’ve ever sat at your desk, computer in one hand, pot of coffee in the other, and considered wearing an adult diaper.
