"Murphy was an optimist!"
Of Friends and Aging February 17, 2013 11:26 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Deep Thoughts, PhilosophyEarlier I posted an excerpt of a response of mine to a Facebook thread by Scott Jordan. This is the full response which encapsulates my thoughts I’ve been trying to put into an essay form for eons without success.
Think of that person you bump into at the mall. Here’s a sentence that is always uttered: “We should get together.” Yes, we “should.” They you part company until the next accidental meeting. It’s about making time. People love to stay “I don’t have the time” but that’s not the case. We “have” all the time between birth and death. It’s about how we choose to spend our time. We don’t “have” time; we “make” time. So when that person in the mall says we “should” get together, whip out a calendar and say “yes, what works for you?” and set a date.
I have 3 friends whom I individually suggested we get together for a beer one evening about three weeks ago yet it hasn’t happened…my fault. I have 5 children, work a full time job, work side projects, and volunteer in a scout troop and a scout pack as well as occasionally giving time to our local zoo, the Epilepsy Foundation, and a couple of other organizations. I have plenty of “excuses” but the truth of the matter is most evenings, I “make” time to lounge around the house with my wife watching television. In essence, I have grown selfish, complacent and self-absorbed.
I think in our single digits we play and play hard and that is good.
In our teen years we fight angst and work through cliques and social situations.
The twenties are great. These are the years of using the knowledge learned in the teens to just have fun. We aren’t trying to game the system or social climb yet. We are comfortable with ourselves and willing to give unconditional time.
The thirties are either aggressive corporate ladder climbing where “who you know matters” so people suddenly gain “value” and therefore you must selectively choose who to spend time with based upon how much you can gain from them OR you have found a comfortably place in your life and are just doing the pattern which like the NYT times article states doesn’t include refilling your pool of friends as it shrinks.
The forties, at least for me, have a huge family first focus. While friends are important, family has to come before all as you realize your children are growing up fast.
I cannot yet comment on the fifties and above without playing off comedic stereotypes.Then there is this social media stuff. I fear some have succumbed to believe that reading Facebook or Twitter replace the need for physical interaction. I love social media but it is a keyhole peek into someone’s life and may be a false picture. Nothing replaces a hug and a laugh.
[Source, Facebook, Scott Jordan in response to Scott Jordan’s post, Is it just me or does it seem that the older you get the smaller your circle of close friends gets?]
See also: NYT: Friends of a Certain Age, Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?
add a commentBay Window Progress February 17, 2013 9:48 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, HouseThe 3rd and final coat of stain is on the bay window. The next step will be to apply the polyurethane.
On aging and friends February 17, 2013 9:32 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeI think in our single digits we play and play hard and that is good.
In our teen years we fight angst and work through cliques and social situations.
The twenties are great. These are the years of using the knowledge learned in the teens to just have fun. We aren’t trying to game the system or social climb yet. We are comfortable with ourselves and willing to give unconditional time.
The thirties are either aggressive corporate ladder climbing where “who you know matters” so people suddenly gain “value” and therefore you must selectively choose who to spend time with based upon how much you can gain from them OR you have found a comfortably place in your life and are just doing the pattern which like the NYT times article states doesn’t include refilling your pool of friends as it shrinks.
The forties, at least for me, have a huge family first focus. While friends are important, family has to come before all as you realize your children are growing up fast.
I cannot yet comment on the fifties and above without playing off comedic stereotypes.
So masking tape shrinks February 16, 2013 11:47 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, House
Returning to the bay window for the second coat revealed a couple of things. First, my cleaning room set up is working quite well! Second, over the course of a week, my masking tape shrank and I had to remask several areas. Now, let the staining begin!
Update: Second coat of stain applied.
add a commentSaturday is for getting high February 16, 2013 10:09 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, HouseWhat shall I do today? I think I’ll lock myself in a small room and breathe noxious fumes…and then when I get out of the bathroom, I’ll stain the bay window.
add a commentState of Me February 15, 2013 5:47 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeIf I had to give this feeling a name, I think I would call it Exhausted.
add a commentProgrammer/Artist February 15, 2013 11:41 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Programming, TechnologyAs a programmer, I often feel like an artist reusing the same canvas over and over and no one ever looks at the painting. As I make modifications and improvements to a program, my previous creation vanishes often without having been appreciated by another programmer. I write tomes of code and a vast percentage of that writing ends up in the fire.
add a commentFlippant remarks meant for deletion February 11, 2013 4:52 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeYou know how when you have a negative thought you write it on a piece of paper then burn the paper to get rid of the thought. I do the same thing but I type it in the computer then delete it…except occasionally I screw up and push publish instead of delete. My apologies for those that read the recent mistake. That’s like having the burned paper blow away before the match hit it and having the paper land in the gossip column of the newspaper.
add a commentWhen does the day begin? February 11, 2013 3:50 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeThis day attempted to begin at midnight. Then again at 1am. And 2:30am. And 3am. And at 3:50am it begain.
add a commentFinally making progress on staining the bay window February 10, 2013 11:45 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, House, Of Being DadA little less than a year ago, we had a bay window installed in the house. The contractors suggested staining or painting it soon to protect the wood. Having not stained wood since I was a teenager, and with Dad’s guidance, I hesitated…and hesitated…and the window was loved by the children…and the dogs…and the cats…and it was muddied and watercolored and scratched and marked upon. And a few Fridays ago Knoxville was iced in. So I used my sander on the window and it came clean! Thus I created "Dad’s clean room."
I’ve since sanded and removed all the scratches and stains and only in one place which I will never reveal did I almost ruin the veneer. This weekend I vacuumed and made my clean room clean. Btw, it worked really well to contain the dust as I sanded which kept the house clean and the wife migraine free. I’ve now taped the windows and am preparing to apply my first coat of stain! This is good. Hopefully by next weekend (or the end of February at the latest), we will have our window complete.
add a commentA little clarification February 8, 2013 11:06 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeDear Greater Power, when I pray for a small lottery win, I was thinking something a little greater than $2. But thanks anyway.
add a commentThe choices we make February 6, 2013 11:51 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeSometimes the choices we make are because of hunger. For instance, today I bought lunch because of hunger.
add a commentDeep Thoughts February 6, 2013 5:30 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Deep Thoughts, PhilosophyIf man was meant to wake up this early, the sheets would not be so warm and comfortable.
add a commentHellish week ahead February 5, 2013 9:19 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily LifeThis promises to be a hellish week mostly attributed to scouting…4 hours Monday night, 1 hour Tuesday night, 4 hours Thursday night. And then there is regular work (the day job) and client work (the night job(s)) and scout planning and paperwork (outside of the aforementioned meetings. Somewhere I need to work in reading to the children, helping them with school work and projects, cooking meals, and practing juggling for a show next Tuesday. Let’s not forget the personal management stuff in my life (finances, household stuffs, household repairs, sleep, car repairs, etc.) and of course, time must be set aside to watch Chuck.
I can allow this week to control me or I can rule this week. I choose the latter.
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