Me: "Goddammit, quit stepping on the cats!"
(Probably not the most constructive statement in the moment)
Category: Pets
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I’m pretty sure as a child I wanted to be an architect (thank you Dad and Michael Brady), and maybe an astronaut, and definitely an entertainer; but NEVER do I recall saying, “Hey, I’d like to spend the better part of my adult life cleaning up pee and poo and other bodily fluids.”
…dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
Just once
I’d really like to get through one day without uttering the words, "Goddamn dog."
Sunday mornings
The cat wants to play fetch while the dog wants to be on the other side of the door.
Get up
The animals have decreed that it is time for me to wake up.
The antialarm
It is impossible to get out of bed when two cats are sleeping on you.
Pets do not make you live longer
Pets do not make you live longer. They kill your husband off earlier which gives you the illusion of living longer.
How not to start the day
My mornings should not begin with me walking around muttering to myself, "fucking cats."
Feeding Frenzy
I awake at 4am and suddenly all the animals think, "Yea! New feeding time!"
From the mouths of babes
Last night I asked my son if the dogs had enough food for this morning. This word "yes" I do not think it means what he thinks it means.
Food for the first time!
Why is that every morning the cats act like they’ve never experienced our feeding routine before?
More upset than I expected
We all have our time. It comes. It goes. I’m pragmatic. I’m stoic. So I am surprised at how upsetting today has been to me. I am also a romantic. A philosopher. The physical manifestation is just that…something expected and done. The problem is the metaphorical interpretation of today’s event reaches too deeply into my being. I require downtime. And distraction. But responsibilities have to be dwelt with first.
Either genius or stupid
Depending on your perspective, this is either a genius or not very brilliant solution to a cat problem. The kittens have taken to chewing electrical cords. At $80 a cord, Apple is loving our kittens. So, I’ve decided to train them away from cords…by squirting them with water when I see them chewing a cord. I think it is a spark of genius! One way or another, this problem will end.
Yard work…befuddles my children and pets
I finally bit the bullet and purchased a new lawnmower. My yard kills these things. It has been a looong time since we have cut our grass. The dogs are outside with me with the most perplexed looks on their faces. I can read their thoughts: "I don’t know what he’s doing… but it sure is going to make pooping easier."
