Don’t drink and buy apps for your cat.
Me: "Goddammit, quit stepping on the cats!"
(Probably not the most constructive statement in the moment)
I’m pretty sure as a child I wanted to be an architect (thank you Dad and Michael Brady), and maybe an astronaut, and definitely an entertainer; but NEVER do I recall saying, “Hey, I’d like to spend the better part of my adult life cleaning up pee and poo and other bodily fluids.”
I’d really like to get through one day without uttering the words, "Goddamn dog."
The cat wants to play fetch while the dog wants to be on the other side of the door.
The animals have decreed that it is time for me to wake up.
It is impossible to get out of bed when two cats are sleeping on you.
Pets do not make you live longer. They kill your husband off earlier which gives you the illusion of living longer.
My mornings should not begin with me walking around muttering to myself, "fucking cats."
I awake at 4am and suddenly all the animals think, "Yea! New feeding time!"
Last night I asked my son if the dogs had enough food for this morning. This word "yes" I do not think it means what he thinks it means.
Why is that every morning the cats act like they’ve never experienced our feeding routine before?
We all have our time. It comes. It goes. I’m pragmatic. I’m stoic. So I am surprised at how upsetting today has been to me. I am also a romantic. A philosopher. The physical manifestation is just that…something expected and done. The problem is the metaphorical interpretation of today’s event reaches too deeply into my being. I require downtime. And distraction. But responsibilities have to be dwelt with first.
Depending on your perspective, this is either a genius or not very brilliant solution to a cat problem. The kittens have taken to chewing electrical cords. At $80 a cord, Apple is loving our kittens. So, I’ve decided to train them away from cords…by squirting them with water when I see them chewing a cord. I think it is a spark of genius! One way or another, this problem will end.