Dad, 6:30am: Turns on bedroom lights
Dad, 7:00am to Tommy: "Are you going to school today?"
Tommy: "Yes Dad."
Dad, 7:10am to Tommy: "Get up!"
Dad, 7:20am to Tommy: "Are you going to school today? Get up!"
Dad, 7:29am to Tommy: "Sarah’s leaving."
Tommy springs to action: "It’s 7:32. I didn’t have a chance of making the bus today!"
Category: From the mouths of babes
Funny things kids (and sometimes adults) say. Somethings these make you say “Hmmm.”
Your children will never hear anything you say
My children just learned hot things melt plastic. Gee. Where have I heard that before?
They also now know that popcorn was not always made in the microwave.
Tommy: "Why wouldn’t you just use a microwave?"
Mom, not answering to avoid saying: "Because I’m old enough to remember when microwaves didn’t exist!"
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "Our house is like a pet store."
Note: We are dog sitting for a few days so we have 3 dogs in the house, an indoor cat, a fish tank full of snails (maybe some fish), an outdoor cat, squirrels, and who knows what else.
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "The thing I love the most is my family."
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "Dad, why does my bus come so early?"
It is funny that the youngest (school age) person in the house has to be the first up.
From the mouths of babes
Evan asks: "Is there a mama?"
Dad: "Mama is asleep."
Evan furrows brow and almost growls: "Oooh Man. I want to go {grabbled}. Noah."
The interesting thing about Evan’s speech right now is that it is clear he gets his thought together but sometimes it takes a bit to get out. Noah is often "No" pause "ah"
From the mouths of babes
Dad: "Talk nice to each other…dammit!"
Parenting Lesson of the Day (or Stupid Dad!)
Narration: [audio:http://realityme.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/parentinglessonoftheday21dec2007.mp3]
Target’s Pharmacy has this really cool medicine dispensing system called ClearRx™ created by a woman whose mother accidentally took her father’s medicine. We switched from our favored local pharmacy at CVS, where the employees were friendly and knew us by name, to Target’s pharmacy, where we are more of a number, specifically because of this product. Evan is fighting a sinus infection and was prescribed some antibiotics by the doctor. He has taken to liking them and tries to do it himself holding the syringe in his mouth but I still have to push the plunder. Now if you are a brain stud like me and decide to show your 2.5 year old child how the plunger on the syringe works, expect to be wearing the medicine!
I let Evan hold the dispenser in his right hand then showed him how to press the plunger with his left palm. His eyes widen as a gush of antibiotic rushed into his mouth. I leaned back with satisfaction as I waited for him to do it a second time completing his dosage. Trying to figure out what he just did, the syringe came out of his mouth and he stared at it not unlike the break he takes between squirts when I am dispensing it. Then I saw it! The gleam in his eyes. I watched as the upturned corners of his mouth meta morphed into a devilish grin. In slow motion I shouted, "NOOooooo!" as a fountain of pink fluid erupted into the air to the joyous cackling of a demented child with a devil on one shoulder patting his back and an angel on the other bound and gagged. A pink rain fell upon me! And, by the way, when your child does this, keep your mouth closed unless you want the chalky taste of artificial strawberry burned into your taste buds for the remainder of the day. Smooth.
I think I’ll go back to trying to get the hippie in my drain to leave.
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 5 years old and very excited: "There’s only 3 more boxes on my advent calender then it’s Christmas!"
Dad: *bleeehh nehhhhh*
From the mouths of babes
So I pick Noah up from school and this cute girl calls out to him.
Dad: "Is that your girlfriend?"
Noah: "Well, sorta."
Dad: "What do you mean, sorta?"
Noah: "Well, she’s a girl. And we are friends."
Dad: "Are you sweet on each other?"
Noah: "Well, sorta."
Dad: "What do you mean, sorta?"
Noah: "Well, we like to talk a lot."
Dad: "Have you had sex education in school?"
Noah: "I think I missed that day."
I’m going to have a lot of illegitimate grandchildren…
Mars and Venus
From the mouths of babes
Me: "We should make love tonight."
Her: "We have to buy groceries tonight!"
From the mouths of babes
Evan wakes from nap: "Daaaaa oooeeww Daaa. Da DAAAA. OH Daa DAA!"
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "Yea! We have a box to play in!"
Mom: "We’ve got to get these kids out of the house more."
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "nine twenty eight"
Dad: "Are you going to be our clock today?"
Amy: "Yes. nine twenty nine"
Amy: "There are three number in that itty bitty space."
Amy: "nine thirty zero. Actually nine thirty."
Amy: "It’s nine thirty one."
Amy: "It’s nine thiiirrtty twoooooo. It’s not to early to play with A and W. After nine thirty two it’s nine thirty three then nine thirty four then nine thirty five."
Amy: "It’s nine thirty three!"
