Amy, wearing Mom’s bra on the outside of her shirt with chest puffed out: "Look at my BIG nipples!"
Category: From the mouths of babes
Funny things kids (and sometimes adults) say. Somethings these make you say “Hmmm.”
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 5 years old: "I don’t want to die. Dead is forever."
From the mouths of babes
Evan discovers the leprosy on my hands and declares: "EEEEeeeew!"
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 2 years old: "AOOooooh NooOOooo!"
From the mouths of babes
We saw Sicko Friday night and dragged Tommy and Sarah along (they enjoyed it!).
Sarah, enters the theatre then bounces out to the lobby: "It’s flat!"
After several people entered the theatre, Sarah declared: "Tommy and I are the only people here who aren’t OLD."
From the mouths of babes
With such inexplicable timing and totally out of the blue:
Amy sings: "Always look on the bright side of life. da da da da de de de de da."
Amy: "Dad, I heard you sing that once."
From the mouths of babes
As Noah is preparing to walk out the door for a week of church camp, one of his friends appears at the door.
Noah: "I’m going to church camp for 5 weeks."
From the mouths of babes
Evan: "wat a woot la la blah che che oooh."
Dad: "That’s chalk and I’m not opening it in here."
Evan, 2 years old, sharply: "Fine!"
From the mouths of babes
Upon returning home from getting Amy to Zoocamp, I see a large bowl of Cool Ranch Doritos on the kitchen table. Noah comes in and snatches one.
Dad: "What did you eat for breakfast?"
Noah: "A cup of milk."
Noah’s eating habits become worse everyday. I battle in my head different ways of changing his diet because I feel strongly his diet is having a significant impact on his well being. Right now though, I am allowing that path of least resistance on the premise that he will eventually start trying vegetables and more interesting foods of his own accord. I fear I am wrong.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, pointing to my coffee: "Is that hot?"
His vocabulary and sentence structures have exploded in the past couple of weeks!
Unmasked
I may have been a huge jackass the other day. It did not come without great guilt. But it did make for a good story!
Did you know that laundry baskets have aerodynamic qualities and that when you angrily throw one down the stairs that the airfoil shape gives it enough lift to smash into your wife’s collectibles?
Noah was going to sleep over with a friend. When they arrived to pick up Noah conversation revealed we were on our way to the store to buy a new laundry basket. In 1977, Billy Joel explained that we all wear masks. We know it. Society has its demands. Scout leaders are supposed to be even tempered and fair to the boys; No one smokes pot except Clinton; And we all drive the speed limit except when no one is looking. Still, we put on our airs, wear the appropriate mask, and try to be Stepford (see also) when in public. Noah’s friend blurts out, "My dad was mad at me once and kicked our laundry basket down the stairs breaking it!" His mother was in shock! Her mask had fallen! So I dropped my mask explaining, "Sounds a lot like how ours broke!" and she relaxed. See, when I threw the basket down the stairs I was angry at Cathy. When I kicked it across the basement shattering the basket, I was angry at myself.
I like not having to wear a mask. Tensions drop and we can enjoy each other’s company so much more. Without a mask, we are truly accepting a person instead of the image we and they think needs to be portrayed. After all, we are all just human and no one is without flaws.
From the mouths of babes
Amy (4 years and 11 months): "I need to take a chill pill!"
From the mouths of babes
Amy: "Do we have Life Alert?"
From the mouths of babes
With a slow creak, Molly lets herself back into the house but fails to close the door. Someone needs to train that dog!
Evan: "Uh oh." As he runs to the door, he exclaims, "Ess OP een" and closes the door for Molly. Evan feels capable and important.
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 4 years old: "I’m having a heart attack."
