A juggling technophile shares personal stories, challenges, humor and perhaps some political commentary.
Happenings in a 5 child, 2 adult household.
Tommy, almost 18: "Amy you can’t say that."
Amy, 6 years old: "Yes I can."
Tommy: "No you can’t."
Amy: "Yes I can!"
Tommy: "No you can’t! Quit it!"
Evan, 3 years old bouncing and chanting: "Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe."
Amy: "Evan, stop it!"
Evan, adds some sway to his shoulders and bobs his head: "Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe. Amy, bebe."
Amy, tearing up: "Make him stop! Evan’s calling me a baby!"
Oh how they slip down instead of rise up. Do the younger of the species always win?
Evan, 3 years old: "Amy, I gotcha your nose!"
Amy, 6 years old, covering face with her book: "No you don’t. It’s protected!"
Amy:"Hey! That’s cheating."
Evan:"I gotchit!"
Amy:"I got your nose."
Evan:"NO Ammie!"
Evan:"Give you me my nose!"
Amy:"No. Give me my nose."
Evan, crying:"NO.. AAAAaaMY!"
Noses should have been designed to stay on our faces better.
Amy, 6 years old: "Dad, did you get a cinnamon roll?"
Dad:"No. I don’t need one. Thanks."
Amy: "Well, I’m eating the last one already."
Mom: "Mister! If you are going to pee on the floor, you are going to clean it up!"
Amy, 6 years old: "Dad, can I have a push pop?"
Dad, from behind a closed door: "Sure but I can’t get it for you right now."
Amy:"That’s okay. I already got it."
Looks like I’m working remotely via a borrowed laptop today. I am taking my daughter to the DMV to get her learner’s permit. She has already declared that she doesn’t want to learn how to drive from me because "that would be annoying." When I asked, "What wouldn’t be annoying? Do you want me to just sit quietly and let you get in an accident?" I got silence in return. I think Miss Know It All thinks she already knows how to drive and would just like to get behind the wheel and go with no one else in the car. This should be interesting.
Now, if you see the 53 van, one of the most recognized vehicles in Knoxville, swerving down the road, hitting curbs, driving against traffic, and running people off the road, it is probably Tommy or Sarah (or me texting). And we apologize.
Update: Failed eye examine keeps another teenager off the road. Our eye doctor won’t see her until October. Looking into other solutions.
Update: I’ve painted an old cane of mine red and white 
and am going to see if they’ll let Sarah take the test without the eye exam under the American Disabilities Act on the premise that she is blind.
Update: After many hours of struggle, a lot of attitude, a 16th mortgage, and two eyeglass stores later, Sarah can see clearly now..the rain is gone.
Loud thud heard upstairs.
Amy: "I’m okay!"
As a child, when I had a wound, my grandmother would send me to the ocean. "The ocean will heal that!" A cut surely stings wading out into the salt water but it does seem to mend quickly. Perhaps the healing is psychological. The fun of the surf making you forget your scrape. Maybe its more. This week we had the full moon overhead. It lit the ocean remarkably. Thunderstorms blew in briefly and gave vivid light shows. Tides swelled and the ocean gave both lulling calm and thunderous waves without explanation for the ocean’s mood swings. Great forces were at work. And magical times for long lasting memories.
We have not had a family vacation since the last week of December 2000. This was a much needed break. Time to go home now.
ps. We only got referenced as "The Griswold’s" once.
One of the challenging things about marriage is relationship management. In the corporate world, we go to training classes, seminars, mentoring, internal training, and read books on how to get along. In marriage, we wing it. In work, you leave the people you "relate" to at the door at 5pm. In marriage, you are glued to each other non-stop. People are creatures of habit and routine. We come to expect a person to be a particular way with a particular attitude. Vacations wreck havoc on routines, bring a new set of stresses and the unknown. Our attitudes and moods change with a vacation.
This morning I felt rested and relaxed. Evan rose at 6:30am and asked that I rise with him. I thought I’d be nice and let everyone else sleep in. Evan and I enjoyed some time together watching cartoons, playing with toys, and eating breakfast. I was happy. So I thought. When Cathy rose, I noted to myself that she was grouchy but I said nothing figuring that her morning caffeine was not working yet. Then came a moment where she complained about how I was relaxed then became terse and crabby when Evan got up. So who is right? Which one of us is the morning grouch? Doesn’t matter. Once someone declares me grouchy or crabby I turn into an ugly person. My mind decides, "Why try to be nice if when you are trying its not working?" Karma gets me back though. In my exasperation, I went to the porch to get some air and the door sprung back in my face spilling coffee on my most comfortable shorts.
Were either of us crabby? Probably not. We were probably working two different agendas and our moods are different than the usual. Subconsciously we probably assessed the other as off and because the other wasn’t working the same unspoken plan, labeled them crabby.
It’s a beautiful day today. I think I’ll spend it on the computer.
I know a vast number of people who think that because I work from home that I don’t really work. It can’t be real can it? That’s just not…normal! It is not normal. It is harder than normal!
I love my children and a benefit of working from home is that I can take short breaks and play with them or experience their special moments. But the children do not understand what I do. I have not role modeled traditional 8 to 5 work for them and they are going to be shocked when they enter the real world.
I just sent Evan, the three year old, sulking upstairs and feel horrible for it. All he wanted to do was spend some time with Dad. He came down here happily and sat in the chair beside me. But I was unable to concentrate when he started removing things from my desk (like my pocket knives), playing in the ash from my incense burner, and using the highlighters for horns. So I snapped. It was wrong and I feel awful. Being a Dad and a provider is tough.
Evan, 3 years old: "Daddy, I wanna go bitchin’"
Dad, removing the pacifier from the child’s mouth: "What?"
Evan: "Daaa, I waaana go bitchin’"
Dad, sitting down to type From the mouths of babes.
Evan: "I WANNA go BIIIItchin’ Daa!"
Dad, continuing to type.
Evan: "Daddy. We need to go bitchin now."
Evan, soft, extra sweet voice: "Let me go bitchin."
Mom: "Evan, are you a boy or a girl?"
Evan, 3 years old: "uhnt, uh"
Dad: "Evan, are you a boy?"
Evan: "No!"
Mom: "Evan, are you a girl?"
Evan: "No!"
Dad: "Say, I have a penis."
Evan: "I know you have a penis!"
Student: I don’t think there are enough drugs in the world to make me feel good about myself right now.
Master: What would make you feel good about yourself?
Dear child, if you put chewing gum behind your ear so that you can brush your teeth, you will have gum stuck in your hair. Love, Dad
