For the kitties!
Category: Philosophy
Think deep.
Doug’s Dictionary
Marriage – the longest funeral procession you’ll ever live through.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Did I have to yell?
Master: NO!
Sniglets
Remember that fad in the 80s inspired by Rich Hall on Not Necessarily the News when everyone was making up words like detrunkus and giving them made up definitions like the act of losing ones shorts when diving into a pool. And we all bought several books of these Sniglets. I thought of one today:
lottoptimism – spending money on the belief that your next lottery ticket will be the winner.
Of course, lottoptimism leads us to:
lottonomics – the result of living with lottoptimism which often results in the loss of property and becoming friends with guys with names like Vinni who say things like "hey boss" a lot.
Dove Campaign for Real Beauty Continues with New Ads
I’ve been moved by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty since its inception. The evolution film was powerful. Now Dove is at it again using forensic artists to draw people as they see themselves and then again as others see them.
Lunch and forgiveness
Dear Lard which art in my belly, Harden be my arteries.
Thy heart attack come,
Thy fat be in views, as it is in muscle.
Give me this day my daily quarter pounder.
And forgive me this meal, as we forgive others.
The Golden Arches of temptation,
Deliver us early: into thine grave,
and the salt, oh the salt, high blood pressure.
Ack!
"So, how’d you end up in Hell?"
"Clogged arteries."
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I took my eye off the ball.
Master: How’s the bruise?
Bad things are happening in Boston…and good things are too
Patton Oswalt says this far more eloquently than I could but echos my sentiment. Yes, horror is happening in Boston right now. However, great things are happening there too and elsewhere. Somewhere a baby is being born. A life is being saved. Someone is sharing a smile with someone else who needed it.
Status Update
By Patton Oswalt
Boston. Fucking horrible.I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I’ve had it with humanity."
But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.
But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."
H/t Danny.
As a reminder, news is bad for you – and giving up reading it will make you happier.
Deep Thoughts
I will never be as young as I was yesterday.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Life!
Master: Over complicated it didn’t ya?
Sinking
Legs of lead
Mind of mush
Sadness too much.
Of Friends and Aging
Earlier I posted an excerpt of a response of mine to a Facebook thread by Scott Jordan. This is the full response which encapsulates my thoughts I’ve been trying to put into an essay form for eons without success.
Think of that person you bump into at the mall. Here’s a sentence that is always uttered: “We should get together.” Yes, we “should.” They you part company until the next accidental meeting. It’s about making time. People love to stay “I don’t have the time” but that’s not the case. We “have” all the time between birth and death. It’s about how we choose to spend our time. We don’t “have” time; we “make” time. So when that person in the mall says we “should” get together, whip out a calendar and say “yes, what works for you?” and set a date.
I have 3 friends whom I individually suggested we get together for a beer one evening about three weeks ago yet it hasn’t happened…my fault. I have 5 children, work a full time job, work side projects, and volunteer in a scout troop and a scout pack as well as occasionally giving time to our local zoo, the Epilepsy Foundation, and a couple of other organizations. I have plenty of “excuses” but the truth of the matter is most evenings, I “make” time to lounge around the house with my wife watching television. In essence, I have grown selfish, complacent and self-absorbed.
I think in our single digits we play and play hard and that is good.
In our teen years we fight angst and work through cliques and social situations.
The twenties are great. These are the years of using the knowledge learned in the teens to just have fun. We aren’t trying to game the system or social climb yet. We are comfortable with ourselves and willing to give unconditional time.
The thirties are either aggressive corporate ladder climbing where “who you know matters” so people suddenly gain “value” and therefore you must selectively choose who to spend time with based upon how much you can gain from them OR you have found a comfortably place in your life and are just doing the pattern which like the NYT times article states doesn’t include refilling your pool of friends as it shrinks.
The forties, at least for me, have a huge family first focus. While friends are important, family has to come before all as you realize your children are growing up fast.
I cannot yet comment on the fifties and above without playing off comedic stereotypes.Then there is this social media stuff. I fear some have succumbed to believe that reading Facebook or Twitter replace the need for physical interaction. I love social media but it is a keyhole peek into someone’s life and may be a false picture. Nothing replaces a hug and a laugh.
[Source, Facebook, Scott Jordan in response to Scott Jordan’s post, Is it just me or does it seem that the older you get the smaller your circle of close friends gets?]
See also: NYT: Friends of a Certain Age, Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?
Deep Thoughts
If man was meant to wake up this early, the sheets would not be so warm and comfortable.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 7 years old: "A boy in my class said that all the money his dad had was $2. And his dad gave it to him!"
This could be a seven year old misinterpretation. For example, I have $5 in my wallet right now but that’s it and I could see my seven year old saying, "This is Dad’s last $5 and he gave it to me!" The sad truth is that most of us are one paycheck away from being homeless. Good fiscal planning suggests keeping three to six paychecks in savings but if $2 is all you have and your son needs that for lunch then saving anything is going to be impossible. The problem snowballs. Let’s say the $2 dad wants to feed his family and didn’t turn to Fish. Instead he knows he gets paid on Friday and since this is Thursday, he skates a check at the grocery hoping it won’t clear until after his deposit. But the bank processes the check first. Now $2 dad is faced with a $36 fee from the bank plus a $25 fee from the grocery store. $61 vanishes from the budget which is already not making it. Now the next pay period will be even harder. This is the poverty cycle.
I read something astounding yesterday.
The world’s 100 richest people earned a stunning total of $240 billion in 2012 – enough money to end extreme poverty worldwide four times over
[Source, RT.com, World’s 100 richest earned enough in 2012 to end global poverty 4 times over]
Read that closely. One hundred people could change the world.
"The richest 1 percent has increased its income by 60 percent in the last 20 years with the financial crisis accelerating rather than slowing the process."
[Source, RT.com, World’s 100 richest earned enough in 2012 to end global poverty 4 times over]
More power to them! I would love to increase my income by 60%. I would love to taste the lifestyles of the rich and famous. However, read it closely. "[T]he financial crisis accelerating rather than slowing the process." Why? Because in the past 20 years the tax laws and other laws have been skewed in favor of the rich. It’s the opposite of Robin Hood. The rich are robbing from the poor to give to the rich. Cutting off welfare programs will not suddenly make the poor responsible and bring them out of poverty; cutting off welfare programs will make the poor dead…which I suppose does end poverty.
I did not mean to politicize this. My point was that a lot of people, normal people, are struggling. It is amazing that 100 people in the world could dramatically change that 4 fold. And yes, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and others are already donating their wealth for good. I hope we can reach a point where no child ever has to say "$2 is all my dad has" again.
Deep Thoughts
It’s better to feel pain than nothing at all.
