Posted on Leave a comment

It’s good to be the kid

Imagine two 10 foot lengths of ½ inch pvc pipe. Add two boys, one 15 mentally 8; one 9, mentally…well, all nine year olds are mental. I look out the window and the nine year old swings his sword, his 10 foot long sword, at the 15 year old then runs down the street and the 15 year old swings his sword, his 10 foot long sword, in circles above his head while chasing his little brother down the street. Each child laughing manically.

So many $10,000 video moments!

Posted on Leave a comment

Children Steal Your IQ

  1. Put 10 month old into swing and buckle securely.
  2. Hold your left hand as if you were going to shake hands.
  3. Place a bottle of Tylenol Infant Drops Plus Cold between your thumb and index finger of the left hand.
  4. Use your right hand to squeeze dropper and remove cap with dropper full of medicine.
  5. Use left hand to remove pacifier from infant’s mouth by grabbing with index finger and thumb.
  6. Try to place dropper into infant’s mouth only to realize taking infant to 9 year old’s karate lessons has been a mistake.
  7. Use pinky finger, ring finger and middle finger of left hand to hold down infant’s right arm.
  8. Use right forearm to block infant’s left hand.
  9. Quickly shove dropper into infant’s mouth.
  10. Realize that since step 7 the bottle of Tylenol Infant Drops Plus Cold has been pouring onto infant’s stomach.

Perhaps I watched too much Three Stooges as a child.

Posted on Leave a comment

My brain has been damaged

The Higglytown Heroes just did The Time Warp. (they tried diguising it with word changes to make it about how to find a lost family member)

I have some interesting memories of The Rocky Horror Picture Show (amz). I recall the very first show I attended (in Memphis circa 1987) and a participant recited "the menu" in a way that got him a standing ovation. I’ve never seen its duplicate. When I was the treasurer of the Clement Hall Resident’s Association I also ran the movie nights (I’d start off with cartoons, then a popular movie, an intermission of cartoons, another (cult) movie, then finish off the remaining cartoons). On Friday nights, I’d pull out a bootleg copy of RHPS (this was prior to its 1990 release) at midnight. We even did a virgin call in the lobby of Clement Hall. I was always an audience member and never a cast member. The shows at the Terrace Tap House were a blast. My last show there was very … um… interesting.