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Wag the Dog

[Update 25-Jan-2017]: And so it is happening.

I joke about conspiracy theories a lot. They are fun to make up. But, getting serious for a minute, first the dog food and now the toothpaste! (direct link to toothpaste story) In January of 2005, I noted that The CIA reports that China and India will be world super powers by the year 2020 and the United States will take a backseat as well as China has forecasted the demise of the United States in reports from the early 1980s and again in 1991 citing the same timeframe that the CIA is now releasing. The year 2020 is just around the corner! N.B. That also means The Singularity is almost here!

THE latest Central Intelligence Agency report mentioning that India will be a super power by 2020 is more amusing than true. Nevertheless, it should prompt introspection. The CIA’s aim is to prepare the US for future economic challenges from China and India. [emphasis added] The spurt in growth in the two countries is credited to the IMF-World Bank’s reform agenda, which aims to push privatisation, deregulate trade and open up markets. [Source]

Aren’t we currently trying to get the right person in charge of the World Bank? So (here comes some opinionated conspiracy theory) Wolfowitz didn’t want to cooperate with Bush’s agenda of destabilizing the Indian and Chinese economies and got replaced!.

India’s richest man builds 60-storey home [for his 6 person family and their 600 full-time staff]…The Indian economy is soaring: yesterday it posted annual growth of 9.4%. Friends of the Ambanis told the Guardian that the billionaire’s new home was "comparable to those owned by friends such as Lakshmi Mittal". [Source]

Want to read some incredible stuff with quotes like According to some Chinese military authors, the United States already knows China can defeat it in 2020 and the idea that U.S. strength is weakening and that its policies will no longer be effective throughout the world is not new in the 1990s. Using internal Chinese documents, Professor Robert S. Ross has shown it was alleged in the early 1980s. This document, packed with citations and references to support its data, is sobering in it explanation of what was to come and is happening now.

Another analyst at that time argued that U.S. "position of strength is declining" and U.S. policy will "lead to failure everywhere." [emphasis added] [Source]

What’s this got to do with dog food and toothpaste? Our dog is being wagged! This is the beginning of a play to grow dissension toward the Chinese and sway public opinion to place economic sanctions on China. Decisions by the president of the World Bank will further help to corrupt and destabilize the Chinese economy. China is ahead of the United States in preparing for a digital war as predicted in the National Defense University Press’ January 2000 publication China Debates the Future Security Environment.

China’s military is preparing for electronic warfare by setting up information warfare units that are developing viruses to attack enemy computers and networks, according to the Department of Defense’s annual report to Congress. …the PLA (People’s Liberation Army) has also established tactics to protect its own computer systems and networks and those of friendly states. Since 2005, the PLA has been including offensive network attacks into its exercises… [Source]

General Pan Junfeng states that the United States will not have formed a full information warfare force until the middle of the 21st century. He explains three ways that in future wars American computers can be very vulnerable. "We can make the enemy’s command centers not work by changing their data system. We can cause the enemy’s headquarters to make incorrect judgments by sending disinformation. We can dominate the enemy’s banking system and even its entire social order." [Source]

The moves our government is making match the predictions in the article which references some scary realities.

  • The United States barely won the Gulf War.
  • Saddam could have won with a better strategy.
  • The United States today cannot “contain” Chinese power.
  • The United States is unable to execute its military strategy of two major regional contingencies.
  • U.S. munitions cannot damage deep underground bunkers (like those in China).
  • [Source]

Maybe there was really nothing wrong with the dog food and toothpaste. Perhaps dog food and toothpaste was the United States’ first, preemptive, strike in the Chinese war. Blind faith in your leaders, or anything, will get you killed. (Brice Springsteen) [Author: Jack Bungart Date: August 22, 2005 Publication: Times-Herald (Vallejo, CA) Article ID: 2963260 ] How’s your Kanji?

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Ist what cha arrrr

Has ye e’vr used some software widout payin’ fer it? Has ye e’vr extended a demo indefinitely perchance? Are ye on day 238 of that 30 day trial? Maybe that license agreement was fer one computer but ye installed it throughout the house. If’n so, ye should click this link. A bit of a warning. Albeit work safe, thar be sound ahead! Tis gonna be loud and the dastardly thang is a might addictive!

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Need More Foreplay!

Target's aisle of protection

What exactly does it mean when a store’s personal lubricant section is larger than the condom section? I’ll tell you want it means! Too many people are rushing things! If you smoke after sex, you went too fast! Granted, a lot of lubricant goes a little way when you’ve got the power tools out for some serious earth moving. And if you are brave enough to search Blingo for senior sex you will find that Google returns 2,080,000 links. Mom! Granddaddy’s bouncing on Granny again!

So, are we being targeted by marketers? Certainly! Fill up the shelves and people that have never used lube before will suddenly start thinking they need it! Hun, I was gonna buy you one of those tickler things and they had this slick stuff for $16. Are more dried up crusty old people getting it on? Pfizer thinks so! Are people just getting kinkier? Darn tootin! Why else would prudish lawmakers in states like Alabama be trying to sway the tide with stupid laws that outlaw sex toys?

Btw, does anyone else hear banjos? Oh, nevermind, just a pig squealing.

Alright men! Repeat after me. If I am having sex on Friday, foreplay begins on the Wednesday before!

N.B. For people looking for the infamous some ladies prefer their tampons warm comment, it’s here.

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What is wrong with the air in west knoxville today? Smells like burning plastic.


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Unmasked

I may have been a huge jackass the other day. It did not come without great guilt. But it did make for a good story!

Did you know that laundry baskets have aerodynamic qualities and that when you angrily throw one down the stairs that the airfoil shape gives it enough lift to smash into your wife’s collectibles?

Noah was going to sleep over with a friend. When they arrived to pick up Noah conversation revealed we were on our way to the store to buy a new laundry basket. In 1977, Billy Joel explained that we all wear masks. We know it. Society has its demands. Scout leaders are supposed to be even tempered and fair to the boys; No one smokes pot except Clinton; And we all drive the speed limit except when no one is looking. Still, we put on our airs, wear the appropriate mask, and try to be Stepford (see also) when in public. Noah’s friend blurts out, "My dad was mad at me once and kicked our laundry basket down the stairs breaking it!" His mother was in shock! Her mask had fallen! So I dropped my mask explaining, "Sounds a lot like how ours broke!" and she relaxed. See, when I threw the basket down the stairs I was angry at Cathy. When I kicked it across the basement shattering the basket, I was angry at myself.

I like not having to wear a mask. Tensions drop and we can enjoy each other’s company so much more. Without a mask, we are truly accepting a person instead of the image we and they think needs to be portrayed. After all, we are all just human and no one is without flaws.

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Have you ever really felt pain?

My stomach hurts. My back and neck hurt. My mind aches. My soul bleeds. I look back hoping to see how far I have come, only to realize, my journey has just begun. I thought they paved the road ahead of me. Perhaps I left the path. This thicket is prickly and dense and makes me long for a second chance. The easy road is over there. No path goes that way. At the end, I wonder if I will look back to realize my journey has just begun, or realize, instead of seeking pain, I should have had fun.